Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'll play:

The acronym WOHM is silly and unnecessary. No one uses this term when speaking ("Hi, I'm Wanda and I'm a work outside of the home mom!"). It's an acronym used exclusively in DCUMLandia and similar internet based places as a PC mechanism for not offending SAHMs who feel that the term working mom (for those with paying jobs) is hurtful since it somehow makes them (SAHMs) feel under valued. I don't understand why this term was developed or why anyone feels it is necessary. If you have job, then you work (working mom, working person, working teenager). If you don't have a job, then you don't work. BUT, that doesn't mean that society thinks SAHMs are home eating bonbons. We get it. You are caring for kids and the home. And as far as we can tell, you don't mind the SAHM moniker, right? Because, you are at home. But why must we have the WOHM term? What the hell does my job have to do with not being at home?? Should I start telling people I'm a lawyer/doctor/ unicorn who works at an office instead of my kitchen table? Seems odd. I can't imagine a working mom coined that damn WOHM term.

So let's get back to the basics. SAHM and WM. We all know what these terms mean. They work just fine.

If you don't have a job, then you don't GET PAID FOR work.

Because the fact is that there is plenty of work that people do and don't get paid for. Much of this work is traditionally done by women.

You're so defensive. It's really absurd. See the post above yours.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'll play:

The acronym WOHM is silly and unnecessary. No one uses this term when speaking ("Hi, I'm Wanda and I'm a work outside of the home mom!"). It's an acronym used exclusively in DCUMLandia and similar internet based places as a PC mechanism for not offending SAHMs who feel that the term working mom (for those with paying jobs) is hurtful since it somehow makes them (SAHMs) feel under valued. I don't understand why this term was developed or why anyone feels it is necessary. If you have job, then you work (working mom, working person, working teenager). If you don't have a job, then you don't work. BUT, that doesn't mean that society thinks SAHMs are home eating bonbons. We get it. You are caring for kids and the home. And as far as we can tell, you don't mind the SAHM moniker, right? Because, you are at home. But why must we have the WOHM term? What the hell does my job have to do with not being at home?? Should I start telling people I'm a lawyer/doctor/ unicorn who works at an office instead of my kitchen table? Seems odd. I can't imagine a working mom coined that damn WOHM term.

So let's get back to the basics. SAHM and WM. We all know what these terms mean. They work just fine.

If you don't have a job, then you don't GET PAID FOR work.

Because the fact is that there is plenty of work that people do and don't get paid for. Much of this work is traditionally done by women.

Anonymous wrote:I think I've finally come up with the silver bullet to end the debate! Here's the perfect term of art:

Pro Bono Caregiver

This is perfect! Works for a man or woman! Doesn't carry the 1950s Little Suzy Homemaker baggage so many women try to avoid! If your purpose of staying home is to be with your child and provide care...and that's your work...but you don't get paid...then this term should be perfect!

And just to be clear: I'm not being snarky. I really do think this term conveys what SAHMs seem to want to convey.

Thoughts?

I'm trademarking this

Anonymous wrote:I'll play:

The acronym WOHM is silly and unnecessary. No one uses this term when speaking ("Hi, I'm Wanda and I'm a work outside of the home mom!"). It's an acronym used exclusively in DCUMLandia and similar internet based places as a PC mechanism for not offending SAHMs who feel that the term working mom (for those with paying jobs) is hurtful since it somehow makes them (SAHMs) feel under valued. I don't understand why this term was developed or why anyone feels it is necessary. If you have job, then you work (working mom, working person, working teenager). If you don't have a job, then you don't work. BUT, that doesn't mean that society thinks SAHMs are home eating bonbons. We get it. You are caring for kids and the home. And as far as we can tell, you don't mind the SAHM moniker, right? Because, you are at home. But why must we have the WOHM term? What the hell does my job have to do with not being at home?? Should I start telling people I'm a lawyer/doctor/ unicorn who works at an office instead of my kitchen table? Seems odd. I can't imagine a working mom coined that damn WOHM term.

So let's get back to the basics. SAHM and WM. We all know what these terms mean. They work just fine.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I always thought WOHM and WAHM were the same thing!

Thanks for clarifying. And I too prefer "working mom." I don't think it's a slap in the fact to moms who work from home or stay at home and don't work (for money--we all know that SAHMs do a lot of work!). It's just a more familiar term to people who don't camp out on message boards all day.

That's the thing, all moms are working moms. The distinction lies in where the work occurs.

Sorry, a working mom has to deal with customer's and adhere to someone else's demands and schedule (whether a boss or their clients).

A SAHM has no constraints on her schedule AT ALL until her kids are in elementary school (and then it's only the bus schedule which then leaves here childfree for hours to do whatever she feels like). And if the schedule of the bus urks her, she can always home school. The only person she might report to is her husband bankrolling her kick-back lifestyle.

The WOHM and WAHM distinction reflects the inflexibility and stress that commuting brings; if you are WAHM and your elementary school age kid gets sick, you can probably continue to work and just set them up with an ipad and some books for the day. Likewise with arranging work on the house, house keepers, etc. They can zip over to DC school for those middle of the day activities just to a do a pop-in, unlike a WOHM who has to budget time for commuting and likely cannot easily return to work after the event.

And need to reiterate the morass and toll that commuting takes in this area, WOHM and WAHM is a very different experience.

Again, this GREATLY depends on the age and personality of your child! How old are your children and how long were you at home with them? I do WOH, but my DD is under 1 year old, and I'm sorry, but my schedule has plenty of constraints on it when I'm home alone with her! Her sleeping and eating schedule/demands are as much as my employer sometimes. I completely AGREE with you that WOH and WAH vastly different, but I also think you paint WAH with a broad brush. Of course, it is more flexible because of the lack of commute, but if I were to WAH for my career, I would still be stuck on a pretty strict schedule.

Haha, I was home for a year with both DC. It is hilarious that you are equating the schedule of a child's eating and sleeping to having to drop a kid off at daycare and run the risk of being fired if you consistently run late. The worst outcome if you consistently run late in feeding your child or miss nap, a cranky baby.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let's try this again. SAHM Sally's job is to care for her kids and her house during the core hours of the day while her DH is at work. Her kid(s) might be a baby (who naps) or a preschooler (who also naps) and eventually a kid in full day K (which means seven hours of child free time). Sally has access to her home during the day, and can clean, go grocery shopping, do laundry, run errands, take kids to the doctor or dentist, etc. WOHM Wanda must do these same tasks, but she isn't at home during the core hours of the day...so these chores (ie:second job) must wait until nights or weekends. The exception being the kids' appointments or sick days when Wanda and her DH must negotiate how they will handle the appointments or split the sick days.

Can you understand this? It's simple. All of the household chores that Sally has Wanda has too...but Wanda can't accomplish those chores leisurely during the week because she isn't home...she's in her office. Now I know what you are thinking...that Sally is watching a kid or two. How can Sally possibly do housework with her kids around??? Ask Wanda. Wanda's kids are around nights and weekends when she's working her second shift at home, struggling to clean, do laundry, etc.

Make sense?

Uh, yeah. So? Working mom chooses to work, SAHM chooses to stay home. Why are you being so condescending about it?

I stay at home. I make it work. I used to WOHM, at which time I also made it work. Life gets done. Get over your insecurities and do what you want.

She is condescending b/c the working mom doesn't choose to work; she has to work to afford food and housing and such. Her bad choice was not marrying for money.

Anonymous wrote:We don't have time to worry about such things.