and, another thing: (17:24 here)

ONE bathroom? For all of those people? That makes my stomach hurt just thinking about it and speaking of such things, what if one person in your crowd needs longer than one minute in the bathroom? What if someone gets sick? Oh my gawd...what if the baby has a diaper blow out in the morning when there's already a back up (so to speak) for the bathroom? What if you are having a heavy period? TMI? Get used to it...in cramped quarters, there are no secrets and no privacy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't go. A big part of vacation for me is relaxing in bed so if I can't do that it's not a vacation. Plus one bathroom for 8 people? Hell no. Plus a six hour drive? No fucking way.

That is NOT a vacation!

OP, BTDT. Mom with three children.

This is my IL's style of vacation: let's get the cheapest possible accommodations, offer to pay for it all and so offer it as a gift, cram everyone into an inadequately outfitted, cramped place with not enough bathrooms and call it a vacation! Then, ILs will call me uptight and a control freak and a princess. I will refuse to go, but since I am bat shit crazy and an uptight, controlling princess who has to have every thing just so, I send my DH and kids to go without me and have a hap-hap-happiest vacation! I stay at home and have a blissfully quiet time at home. There aren't enough tranquilizers in my medicine cabinet to get me through a vacation like what you describe. That's NO vacation. Just say no!

If you can't hack this for 2 days, you are uptight and controlling. I'm a picky bitch, but dayuum.

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't go. A big part of vacation for me is relaxing in bed so if I can't do that it's not a vacation. Plus one bathroom for 8 people? Hell no. Plus a six hour drive? No fucking way.

That is NOT a vacation!

OP, BTDT. Mom with three children.

This is my IL's style of vacation: let's get the cheapest possible accommodations, offer to pay for it all and so offer it as a gift, cram everyone into an inadequately outfitted, cramped place with not enough bathrooms and call it a vacation! Then, ILs will call me uptight and a control freak and a princess. I will refuse to go, but since I am bat shit crazy and an uptight, controlling princess who has to have every thing just so, I send my DH and kids to go without me and have a hap-hap-happiest vacation! I stay at home and have a blissfully quiet time at home. There aren't enough tranquilizers in my medicine cabinet to get me through a vacation like what you describe. That's NO vacation. Just say no!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, your in-laws suck.

No way in hell would my parents or DH's parents give us the twin bed room in this situation. They'd give up the biggest room for us for those two days (or for the whole time).

I would honestly probably not go. Doesn't sound relaxing and they sound like selfish jerks.

You have to be kidding me. When you give something FOR FREE, it is never selfish.

It's not like OP is paying for the beach house 1/3 (or cost per bedroom, or person). They are being offered FREE ROOM. You can give someone a single free M&M, and it still won't be selfish. Anything free, no matter how small, is a gift. Either decline or be gracious.

Couldn't agree more. FREE room! That means you get what you get....and you don't get upset. Make it work, graciously, or don't go!

Anonymous wrote:Wow, your in-laws suck.

No way in hell would my parents or DH's parents give us the twin bed room in this situation. They'd give up the biggest room for us for those two days (or for the whole time).

I would honestly probably not go. Doesn't sound relaxing and they sound like selfish jerks.

You have to be kidding me. When you give something FOR FREE, it is never selfish.

It's not like OP is paying for the beach house 1/3 (or cost per bedroom, or person). They are being offered FREE ROOM. You can give someone a single free M&M, and it still won't be selfish. Anything free, no matter how small, is a gift. Either decline or be gracious.

Wow, your in-laws suck.

No way in hell would my parents or DH's parents give us the twin bed room in this situation. They'd give up the biggest room for us for those two days (or for the whole time).

I would honestly probably not go. Doesn't sound relaxing and they sound like selfish jerks.

If your have an older baby: push one of the twin beds against the wall - baby sleeps between you & the wall. If you have a younger baby & SIDS is still a risk, bring an Arm's Reach Cosleeper - those are really small, you'll make it fit somehow and some one will lend you one if you don't already have one.

Preschooler & Dad get the other bed. Or preschool can sleep on the floor with a doubled over comforter.

Maybe I don't think it's that big a deal because my husband grew up with grandparents, parents, uncles & aunts, and a sister all in a one bedroom apartment. So if my ILs invited us to stay with them and gave us a whole room, I'd feel like a jerk saying it's not enough space for us. Sure, my parents can give us more space when they host, but when in Rome . . . . it's just two nights. Your kids will have fun. You'll be fine and if you can't sleep soundly while sharing the bed with baby, then take a mid-day nap. I'm sure some one will offer to watch the baby for an hour or two so you can catch some Zs.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We are entitled to one small bedroom. There are 2 other bedrooms, but they will be occupied by the 2 couples paying for the house. We are not paying - I figured we would end up paying for a grocery run.

There's your answer: you're not paying so just deal. It's the beach. Just have fun.

Anonymous wrote:Having just returned from a week-long "vacation" with a similar nighttime setup (throw in some curtainless windows and a 5 a.m. sunrise), my first instinct is to suggest a run for the hills. But after flipping through the pictures of our kids with their grandparents, I'll say it was worth it. And for 2 days? Go for it. I would suggest looking for a "lite' pack n play or an Arms Reach cosleeper - both are smaller than a regular pack n play. If there's a closet you can open the doors and hang the pnp half-in/half out to maximize the space. Good luck!

Ding ding ding ding! Winner! Mom in twin bed #1 with an Arm's Reach cosleeper. For the rest of the family:
Dad and preschooler in twin bed OR
Dad in twin bed, preschooler on bedroom floor, OR
Dad in twin bed, preschooler on hall floor just outside of the bedroom, OR
Preschooler in twin bed, dad on the couch (this is what we'd do in our family, most likely).

I probably wouldn't do it because of the drive, but you knew about the drive when you accepted, so I would just do it and figure out how to make it work.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:6 hour drive for two nights with 1 bathroom for 6 adults and at least 2 kids? I'd say thank you, but our plans have changed, and we can't make it.

This was my thought, too. Just borrow a friend's tent and go camping overnight somewhere MUCH closer.

+1

I wouldn't bother to go. Too long a drive for too little time in uncomfortable conditions.

"Thanks, but I'm afraid it won't work for us this year."

Anonymous wrote:OP again. Thanks all.

No, I'm not worried about twin beds or not sleeping with DH! I am indeed concerned about where any form of portable crib will go. Baby is getting very mobile and I can't just put her down on a twin bed, even with me in it. We're going to have to wing it. The ILs go to bed late (loud tv til midnightish) so the living room isn't a choice either. Baby is a light sleeper, but I'm well aware that that isn't anyone else's concern once we agree to share a house. We have done a shared hotel room with the 4 of us, and while space wasn't a problem we all went to bed ridiculously early, which isn't an option with a house full of people.

So we'll go to honor our commitment and give them time with the grandchildren, and next time DH might listen to me when I suggest that we get all the details before agreeing to anything!

OP, if you want this to happen "next time" then just put your foot down. Keep telling ILs that you can't commit until you know more about the situation, and too bad if they try to change your mind or DH's. Especially since you're going this time, you can use it as a learning experience for everyone. The two of you need to be on the same page and he needs to support you, not just you supporting him.

Having just returned from a week-long "vacation" with a similar nighttime setup (throw in some curtainless windows and a 5 a.m. sunrise), my first instinct is to suggest a run for the hills. But after flipping through the pictures of our kids with their grandparents, I'll say it was worth it. And for 2 days? Go for it. I would suggest looking for a "lite' pack n play or an Arms Reach cosleeper - both are smaller than a regular pack n play. If there's a closet you can open the doors and hang the pnp half-in/half out to maximize the space. Good luck!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why can't the baby go in with your ILs? Is the DC still waking and nursing? My parents always take our youngest in the pack and play in their room.

That would be pretty rude to ask someone else to have a baby in their room, in the house they're paying for, while you pay nothing.

Grandparents not strangers ya dummy!

Grandparents and other relatives aren't your night nanny, ya dummy!

Especially when they're paying for your accommodations. Hey, here's a free room at a beach house. How about you hand us your child at night so you can sleep well in the vacation house we're paying for you?

Are you serious with this request? I'm not a grandparent, but it's completely rude and selfish.

Guess that is the type of family you have. As for my folks AND my IL's they would likely be the ones suggesting that the kid(s) sleep with them.
But hey, they are not at all uptight or easily offended and certainly would not even blink at the idea of bunking with their own grand kids .
And if they did not want they have NO problem saying no. They are grownups.

Very strange. My parents are awesome grandparents. But it would be really strange for them to take our baby in their room for the night.

What in the world is "strange" about it? I understand that different families have different dynamics and some grandparents would say "no". But that is totally different than saying it is "strange". But hey in our families, grandparents and cousins take others' kids for weeks at a time in the summer. My folks and inlaws have had ours sleep with them since they were infants, when they would come for a visit and give us a break for the night -- let us get some sleep. We are all about it takes a village as long as we love and trust the villagers. We are also considerate, rarely have to ask, and don't have a problem accepting "NO".

You are over thinking this! The dread and worry and fretting that you are doing now are way worse than having to deal with a cramped room for a couple of nights. You won't be hanging out in that room and with any luck you'll have help with the kids during the day (though, granted you can not COUNT on that).

Worst case scenario: You go and stay in an uncomfortable room for 48 hrs. In-laws expect you to have the baby/toddler around them but don't necessarily want to help with the kids. Maybe they want your dh to "finally" get his well deserved "break" while you cook, clean, nanny for those two days. It's only 2 days, you will survive. My guess is it will be a lot better than that.