Ok thread police, go away. You are boring.

If SD and DH found this thread, everything OP wrote about them was very complimentary and loving. It's not like having a nose job is something you can keep a secret for people who knew you with your old nose.

The best thing about forums like this is that you can get advice from 100% complete strangers who have no stake whatsoever in your decision. More objective advice exists no where else in our lives. The beauty of the internet.

People are looking for advice from the collective in these posts, typically when they recognize circumstances may have clouded their judgment. I fail to see any legal implications as the SD is over 18.

Google "stepdaughter wants a nose job" and look what you get in the search results.

https://www.google.com/webhp?sourceid=chrome-instant&ion=1&espv=2&ie=UTF-8#q=stepdaughter%20wants%20a%20nose%20job

That is not the point. The point is if SD found this thread, then what? Good or bad? A breach of trust or not? What would the therapist say? Does DH know about this thread? If not, then why not? Also, what if SD's mother found this thread? Do you think a judge would think these posts, with all their detail, were idea, even if the intentions were good?

As for the Expectant Mom's Forum, are posters writing about themselves? I'm fine with people exposing as much as they like about themselves (or anyone for that matter so long as they have their permission). But writing about others to the degree we get in too many forums is questionable -- if only for those being written about!

I've made this point in other threads.

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand what OP was hoping to accomplish here. Moreover, this is another example of someone sharing far too many identifying details. Do SD and DH know that she posted exceedingly private things here? Even if it's anonymous, I can imagine SD feeling violated if she stumbled upon this thread.

Do you have any idea how many people even in the DC area have never heard of this forum or would ever think to post on it? Who even knows if OP lives in DC (although it sounds like she's within driving distance of NYC but that encompasses a huge area). Go to the Expectant Mom's Forum if you want identifying and personal details. OP got good advice here. Don't be such a poop.

Anonymous wrote:It's not her Mother's decision anymore. Do it, OP.

I had a nose job at 18 during the summer before I went to college. Still love my "new" nose 17 years later.

These transitional moments are important, OP. I had a much-needed breast reduction the summer before college and, man, did it make a difference.

You've presented it as the capstone to a series of positive changes. I see it as a wonderful way to begin her next phase.

I wouldn't apologize. I wouldn't actively cheerlead her decision, let that emerge from her conversation with the doctor. Definitely have DH and DD deal with Angry Unilateral Mom. Know what you're doing for her is life changing.

I don't understand what OP was hoping to accomplish here. Moreover, this is another example of someone sharing far too many identifying details. Do SD and DH know that she posted exceedingly private things here? Even if it's anonymous, I can imagine SD feeling violated if she stumbled upon this thread.

Anonymous wrote:You must have had the appointment before you started the thread earlier today. What was the point of this thread?

OP stated that the plastic surgeon is the husband of her sister's best friend. I'm sure she could have made the consultation appointment with him personally or made it earlier. Consultation is just that - the surgeon will talk to the daughter and then schedule the surgery.

Anonymous wrote:We truly need a photo of said nose.

No we don't. We all know what a prominent nose looks like and why most women don't want one. 18 is old enough for SD to decide what she wants and understand how she could look better. No one should be stuck with a facial feature they don't like since it harms no one to fix it. Too bad this has become a control issue with her mother, who should understand why her daughter wants to look prettier. The world is not kind to women who aren't attractive. OP, this is a sticky situation, but I'm in support of your DD's decision and your generous offer to help her. Part of me would understand her mom being super pissed, though. IF you and your DH go for it, let him say he paid for it. Even if she won't believe it, it's still the best way.

It's not her Mother's decision anymore. Do it, OP.

I had a nose job at 18 during the summer before I went to college. Still love my "new" nose 17 years later.

If her mother is a decent human being she will understand and love her daughter even if she doesn't agree. Her daughter is 18 and more than old enough to make that choice. It isn't her mother's decision.

Anonymous wrote:You must have had the appointment before you started the thread earlier today. What was the point of this thread?

I think OP was pretty clear that she had done some work finding a surgeon, and I am not surprised she made an appointment. An appointment is not a commitment to do surgery and can always be cancelled. OP was posting because she was having second thoughts about SD's mother's possible reaction.

Of course she probably reserved the appointment if it's with one of the best surgeons in NYC. Why are you antagonizing her? She has done everything right. I would have done the same thing and so would have the majority of the people on this thread. Go have a glass of chardonnay, sweety. It's a holiday weekend after all!

We truly need a photo of said nose.