Anonymous wrote:
Joint party—no, DH and I already worked on a theme that our kid chose and created activities for the mixed-age group we planned to have. Yes, my kid is only 3, but she deserves her own day.

Anonymous wrote:What is with kids having a party every damn year?? I had like three total growing up and lived to tell about it... And had less crap that ended up on the landfill or goodwill. Have parties for meaningful years... Turning 5 and going to school, turning ten and being double digits, turning 13 and being a teen.. Things like that. Anything more is greedy and gift grubby.

Anonymous wrote:Jen is upset that Kim was "asking around" re: family availability - and not making a phone call to Jen a first priority.

Does seem like that should have been priority #1.

That is the kind of treatment sisters expect.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, the thing is, you really didn't give Jen any options that could possibly have worked for her. You not come to her party when she was coming to yours? Her having the party a weekend she couldn't do it? It seems like you heard she was planning a party for Aiden and immediately decided you were not going to make any concessions to her before you even began -- you stuck to your date and your original plan and didn't budge at all. Even if your sister is a PITA, you should have given her something to work with because now you are putting your family and your kids in a really awkward position, and you two are going to remember and resent this forever now.

OP again. This is somewhat, though not totally true. My solution is: Aiden's brithday was a month ago and you took him on a family trip to see an event that was specific to his interests. If you want to celebrate with family and friends near his birthday, you had three weekends since then to make it happen. We are sticking to our date because that's the date that our guests indicated was most convenient and they could come. The next weekend we'll be away, the weekend before is too soon for us, and honestly, we just prefer to have her party near her birthday.

And really, she's getting a total pass for sending out the evite (I told her about the invitations I made up and was clearly going to mail) right after I gave her our party info? I guarantee that she has done not one thing to prepare for this party other then send the evite and complain to our mother.

Anonymous wrote:OP, the thing is, you really didn't give Jen any options that could possibly have worked for her. You not come to her party when she was coming to yours? Her having the party a weekend she couldn't do it? It seems like you heard she was planning a party for Aiden and immediately decided you were not going to make any concessions to her before you even began -- you stuck to your date and your original plan and didn't budge at all. Even if your sister is a PITA, you should have given her something to work with because now you are putting your family and your kids in a really awkward position, and you two are going to remember and resent this forever now.

Anonymous wrote:OP, the thing is, you really didn't give Jen any options that could possibly have worked for her. You not come to her party when she was coming to yours? Her having the party a weekend she couldn't do it? It seems like you heard she was planning a party for Aiden and immediately decided you were not going to make any concessions to her before you even began -- you stuck to your date and your original plan and didn't budge at all. Even if your sister is a PITA, you should have given her something to work with because now you are putting your family and your kids in a really awkward position, and you two are going to remember and resent this forever now.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I’m Kim. The major point that couldn’t originally be disclosed is that Jen is CRAZY and has a history of not bothering to do things until someone else is doing them, then saying “Hey, we’ll do it together.” Then contributing nothing and being shocked when the other person is annoyed. I agree the family drama is ridiculous and I’m certainly doing my part but not agreeing to her “solutions.” I assumed, since she said nothing about a party for Aiden, that the weekend trip was his celebration, and there have been three weekends since his birthday that could have been party dates.

Joint party—no, DH and I already worked on a theme that our kid chose and created activities for the mixed-age group we planned to have. Yes, my kid is only 3, but she deserves her own day. For what it’s worth, my sister also suggested joint baby showers (Aiden is her 3rd kid and 2nd boy). We have a small house and a small yard and are planning a small party with a few children from preschool, a few neighbors, and family. About 20 people total. A joint party, including Aiden’s guests (read: my sister’s friends and their kids), makes it much bigger than we anticipated or can probably handle. I don't think I'm being unreasonable to expect that I can say no to a joint birthday party with my nephew whose birthday was more than a month before. I would be fine if relatives came and brought gifts for Aiden, since he didn't have a family party, but this is Isabelle's birthday party.

At this point, I don’t care if I’m being a jerk. Our party is this day at this time, I already printed the invitations. Family can come if they want, or go to Aiden's party. Most of them know how Jen can be. We never got along as kids, and haven’t made much progress since.

Anonymous wrote:Jen used her kid's birthday weekend for a trip which to me reads as a you snooze you lose. However, she had the best idea on trying to make it a joint party. Kim should've agreed...what was so bad about a joint party?

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I’m Kim. The major point that couldn’t originally be disclosed is that Jen is CRAZY and has a history of not bothering to do things until someone else is doing them, then saying “Hey, we’ll do it together.” Then contributing nothing and being shocked when the other person is annoyed. I agree the family drama is ridiculous and I’m certainly doing my part but not agreeing to her “solutions.” I assumed, since she said nothing about a party for Aiden, that the weekend trip was his celebration, and there have been three weekends since his birthday that could have been party dates.

Joint party—no, DH and I already worked on a theme that our kid chose and created activities for the mixed-age group we planned to have. Yes, my kid is only 3, but she deserves her own day. For what it’s worth, my sister also suggested joint baby showers (Aiden is her 3rd kid and 2nd boy). We have a small house and a small yard and are planning a small party with a few children from preschool, a few neighbors, and family. About 20 people total. A joint party, including Aiden’s guests (read: my sister’s friends and their kids), makes it much bigger than we anticipated or can probably handle. I don't think I'm being unreasonable to expect that I can say no to a joint birthday party with my nephew whose birthday was more than a month before. I would be fine if relatives came and brought gifts for Aiden, since he didn't have a family party, but this is Isabelle's birthday party.

At this point, I don’t care if I’m being a jerk. Our party is this day at this time, I already printed the invitations. Family can come if they want, or go to Aiden's party. Most of them know how Jen can be. We never got along as kids, and haven’t made much progress since.

No, the OP is pretty clear that Jen was planning a party and had talked some relatives, and then Kim mentioned to the same relative that she was thinking of having a party that day. Jen then reached out and suggested solutions.