Anonymous wrote:I set up a friend with a guy...she turned him down b/c of the shoes he had on.

And is she lamenting to you her chronic uncoupled status? Is she in her 20's/early 30's or older?

Anonymous wrote:The problem is, as others point out, the checklist.

I am a male. My checklist was simple: nothing hanging between the legs. That was a deal breaker. And she had to weigh less than me (I am 6'2" and 250 lbs). Oh, and she had to be of child bearing age.

Other than that, she had to be nice to me.


That was when dating. DW has not grown a penis, now weighs more than me (I am still 250 lbs), is no longer of child bearing age (but we have a wonderful DD), and is not always nice to me. But I get really good wife stories now.

Guy here - fucking hilarious. Brother, you rock!

The problem is, as others point out, the checklist.

I am a male. My checklist was simple: nothing hanging between the legs. That was a deal breaker. And she had to weigh less than me (I am 6'2" and 250 lbs). Oh, and she had to be of child bearing age.

Other than that, she had to be nice to me.


That was when dating. DW has not grown a penis, now weighs more than me (I am still 250 lbs), is no longer of child bearing age (but we have a wonderful DD), and is not always nice to me. But I get really good wife stories now.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I set up a friend with a guy...she turned him down b/c of the shoes he had on.


I can see myself doing this depending on the shoes. I hate those crazy colored, $500 tennis that grown men are wearing and not even for an athletic event. It looks foolish.

I think it was loafers and jeans or something like that...nothing crazy, she just did not did the combination

Not my taste, but I could have worked on that.

Male clothing deal-breakers for me are:
fur coats
ratty items worn in public (holes in shirts, stains, runover dress shoes)
trucker hats
fanny packs
Bill Cosby sweaters
mesh anything that is not worn during a sporting event by an actual competitor

You lose me with ratty t-shirts. I have been married 15 years....and I have shirts from my bachelor days.

Okay, married guy here. I've also set up several friends and acquaintances. Here's my take on the issue.

Most men are willing to date anyone regardless of socioeconomic status. I've known high ranking corporate men who date and marry low totem-pole hourly workers, or unemployed women, women with children, etc. Most of the women that I know are looking up, they want someone who makes more money than them, the professional women will only date/marry professional men, etc. The higher income/socioeconomic men have their choice of women and choose from across the spectrum. The higher income/socioeconomic women restrict themselves to the small upper tier of men, many of whom are already spoken for.

The single professional women I know who have been most successful at finding partners were the ones willing to ignore SE status. I had a guy who worked for me who married his professional, corporate management wife when he was a construction worker without a college degree. After physical injuries that prevented him from working in construction, he went back and got a computer technician certification and ended up coming to work for me in his 50's as a computer tech. They were quite happily married. I know quite a number of late-in-life paired couples where the wife makes more money and is more successful career-wise than the husband. And they have happy marriages.

So, from a slightly different perspective, I echo those who say to stop with the 587 line check-list of everything that a guy must have to be husband-material and just look for honest hard-working guys. You can find them at sports bars, sporting events, outdoor physical activities (running in races, biking with the local bike group, hiking in state parks, playing in the weekend sports leagues, etc). You will not find them at the opera, theater, high-end bars, book clubs, etc. Look, I'm a theater reviewer and performer, but I know that you aren't going to find a ton of single and available heterosexual men attending these events.

Ever heard this joke before?

A store has just opened in New York City that offered free husbands. When women go to choose a husband, they have to follow the instructions at the entrance:

“You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are 6 floors to choose from. You may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you CANNOT go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the store to find a husband. On the 1st floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs

The 2nd floor sign reads: Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.

The 3rd floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids and are extremely Good Looking.

“Wow,” she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going. She goes to the 4th floor and sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.

“Oh, mercy me!” she exclaims. “I can hardly stand it!” Still, she goes to the 5th floor and sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, help with Housework and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the 6th floor and the Sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 71,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that you are impossible to please.
Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

To avoid gender bias charges, the store’s owner opened a Wife Store just across the street.

The 1st first floor has wives that love sex.

The 2nd floor has wives that love sex and have money.

The 3rd through 6th floors have never been visited....

Why are so many people in this thread blaming the women for being too picky? As a late 30s single woman: what about all the men who thought I was too fat when I was at a perfectly healthy weight, just not anorexic-skinny? What about all the men on dating websites who think they're ordering a pizza: must be over 5'4" but under 5'9", straight hair but not curly, thin or athletic but not average body type (or, God forbid, "a few extra pounds"), only certain races, religions, etc.? Men can be insanely picky, too-- and the ones who are never married at 40 usually are.

The only standard I've had for the last few years is "must be a better option than going to a sperm bank". And I can't even find *that* guy (who is also looking for a serious relationship leading to marriage and children, and who wants to date me).

The entire dating process has become a nightmare. So many college students don't even date anymore. They just get drunk and hookup. They think they have all the time in the world to find perfection while they strive for a career. Then in their 20's they are jumping from city to city building the career while many men are like Peter Pan. Now you are in your 30's and for women the egg clock is ticking. You have already past your prime in mid 20's for fertility. By 40 you are desperate. I am sorry but Priceton mom was on to something. I don't think you need to go to Princeton to find a man but it would be beneficial if college students on any campus respected the opposite sex a little more and at least tried some old fashion dating. Women are not left with much of a window to find a decent mate that will be a good husband and father if they wait to mid to late 30's.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I set up a friend with a guy...she turned him down b/c of the shoes he had on.


I can see myself doing this depending on the shoes. I hate those crazy colored, $500 tennis that grown men are wearing and not even for an athletic event. It looks foolish.

I think it was loafers and jeans or something like that...nothing crazy, she just did not did the combination

Not my taste, but I could have worked on that.

Male clothing deal-breakers for me are:
fur coats
ratty items worn in public (holes in shirts, stains, runover dress shoes)
trucker hats
fanny packs
Bill Cosby sweaters
mesh anything that is not worn during a sporting event by an actual competitor

Anonymous wrote:
I set up a friend with a guy...she turned him down b/c of the shoes he had on.


I can see myself doing this depending on the shoes. I hate those crazy colored, $500 tennis that grown men are wearing and not even for an athletic event. It looks foolish.

I think it was loafers and jeans or something like that...nothing crazy, she just did not did the combination

DC is full of Tracy Flicks.

Anonymous wrote:I set up a friend with a guy...she turned him down b/c of the shoes he had on.

I can see myself doing this depending on the shoes. I hate those crazy colored, $500 tennis that grown men are wearing and not even for an athletic event. It looks foolish.

I set up a friend with a guy...she turned him down b/c of the shoes he had on.

Anonymous wrote:The reality is that if a woman is attractive and nice to him, most men are fine. But with women, a man has to meet 539 requirements for her to be interested. Women also initiate 2/3 of all divorces so no question they are much pickier than men.

very true. i have gone out with women that were taller than me, shorter than me, heavier than me, lighter than me, all shades, ethnicities, religious backgrounds, richer, poor, elite education, community college education, single moms, divorced women with no kids, singles...whatever.

as long as i find them attractive, they treat me with respect, and are reasonably intelligent in some way it is ok.

guys don't have many 'requirements' at all.

Anonymous wrote:I'm a divorced dad and have the opposite problem. In good shape but not really into playing the game. You would never know this by looking at me, but I like somewhat quirky, slightly nerdy women who are big on things like art and things like foreign languages. Where are you? With summer here we could be having a great time!

i once picked up a bitty who was a volunteer as a docent at the Walter's Gallery. Though i was in my 20's - lot of pretty young things who are volunteers and docents at galleries around here.