Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:AM I CRAZY???!!!!

Am I the only one who thinks this should've rolled off DD's back with a thought of "dumb ass" and an eye roll?

Before anyone starts, I'm the AA female who's preparing to send her own DC off to college, and for the life of me I can't understand going to a Diversity office, emailing a dean/professor, etc. This was nothing more than a dumb ass making a dumb ass comment. If she'd been physically assaulted or if this was even an ongoing thing, then I could see the point. But it's not. It's one comment that she should not even be thinking about a week later. But if it's blown into a federal case, it becomes a much bigger deal than it ever needed to be. Teach DD to have a thicker skin instead of reacting to every little comment and blowing things out of proportion. That child will never live in peace if her approach to living is to address every single slight by every single dumb ass.

Perhaps it's my background of being the only black girl in the class--in a small town. I heard the racist jokes, been asked racist questions and sat in class with teachers who were either insensitive, didn't hear or didn't care. And never ONCE in HS did I ever even mention the comments to my parents. Every class has dumb ass clowns in it (especially in HS), so I just thought of them as the dumb ass clowns and kept it moving. There were a few who seemed well-meaning and genuinely curious about black people, but I attributed their questions to ignorance and innocence. I'd hate to think of who I'd be today if my mother taught me by her actions that I was a victim, that I should react to every negative comment and that everyone up to the Superintendent needed to know about how badly her baby was being mistreated and that ignorant comments would not be tolerated! Not around her baby and not on her tax payer dime. Humph!

I agree that it is good to develop a thicker skin. For her own sake, it is better not to give too much energy or emotion to some dumbass who makes a racist comment.

But this is a learning environment. As a white person, and someone who has been a teacher, I would want to know if I said something inappropriate that made a minority student feel uncomfortable. If I had A child in that classroom, I would not want that child think that what happened was okay.

Anonymous wrote:AM I CRAZY???!!!!

Am I the only one who thinks this should've rolled off DD's back with a thought of "dumb ass" and an eye roll?

Before anyone starts, I'm the AA female who's preparing to send her own DC off to college, and for the life of me I can't understand going to a Diversity office, emailing a dean/professor, etc. This was nothing more than a dumb ass making a dumb ass comment. If she'd been physically assaulted or if this was even an ongoing thing, then I could see the point. But it's not. It's one comment that she should not even be thinking about a week later. But if it's blown into a federal case, it becomes a much bigger deal than it ever needed to be. Teach DD to have a thicker skin instead of reacting to every little comment and blowing things out of proportion. That child will never live in peace if her approach to living is to address every single slight by every single dumb ass.

Perhaps it's my background of being the only black girl in the class--in a small town. I heard the racist jokes, been asked racist questions and sat in class with teachers who were either insensitive, didn't hear or didn't care. And never ONCE in HS did I ever even mention the comments to my parents. Every class has dumb ass clowns in it (especially in HS), so I just thought of them as the dumb ass clowns and kept it moving. There were a few who seemed well-meaning and genuinely curious about black people, but I attributed their questions to ignorance and innocence. I'd hate to think of who I'd be today if my mother taught me by her actions that I was a victim, that I should react to every negative comment and that everyone up to the Superintendent needed to know about how badly her baby was being mistreated and that ignorant comments would not be tolerated! Not around her baby and not on her tax payer dime. Humph!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:AM I CRAZY???!!!!

Am I the only one who thinks this should've rolled off DD's back with a thought of "dumb ass" and an eye roll?

Before anyone starts, I'm the AA female who's preparing to send her own DC off to college, and for the life of me I can't understand going to a Diversity office, emailing a dean/professor, etc. This was nothing more than a dumb ass making a dumb ass comment. If she'd been physically assaulted or if this was even an ongoing thing, then I could see the point. But it's not. It's one comment that she should not even be thinking about a week later. But if it's blown into a federal case, it becomes a much bigger deal than it ever needed to be. Teach DD to have a thicker skin instead of reacting to every little comment and blowing things out of proportion. That child will never live in peace if her approach to living is to address every single slight by every single dumb ass.

Perhaps it's my background of being the only black girl in the class--in a small town. I heard the racist jokes, been asked racist questions and sat in class with teachers who were either insensitive, didn't hear or didn't care. And never ONCE in HS did I ever even mention the comments to my parents. Every class has dumb ass clowns in it (especially in HS), so I just thought of them as the dumb ass clowns and kept it moving. There were a few who seemed well-meaning and genuinely curious about black people, but I attributed their questions to ignorance and innocence. I'd hate to think of who I'd be today if my mother taught me by her actions that I was a victim, that I should react to every negative comment and that everyone up to the Superintendent needed to know about how badly her baby was being mistreated and that ignorant comments would not be tolerated! Not around her baby and not on her tax payer dime. Humph!

Calm down. Your experiences may not mirror OP's daughter's experiences. One size does not fit all in how things occur and how they're handled.

I'm sure OP understands that calling or emailing the school is not a good idea.

As a college professor I can assure you that many parents do think it is a good idea. Actually not parents. Mothers. I have never had a father call me about poor little Johnny. But I do have to explain to Mommy that no, little Johnny can't rewrite his exam because his tummy was sore that day and he didn't do his best. 99.9% of the time, I just refuse to speak with the mothers and tell them to have their adult child contact me directly.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:AM I CRAZY???!!!!

Am I the only one who thinks this should've rolled off DD's back with a thought of "dumb ass" and an eye roll?

Before anyone starts, I'm the AA female who's preparing to send her own DC off to college, and for the life of me I can't understand going to a Diversity office, emailing a dean/professor, etc. This was nothing more than a dumb ass making a dumb ass comment. If she'd been physically assaulted or if this was even an ongoing thing, then I could see the point. But it's not. It's one comment that she should not even be thinking about a week later. But if it's blown into a federal case, it becomes a much bigger deal than it ever needed to be. Teach DD to have a thicker skin instead of reacting to every little comment and blowing things out of proportion. That child will never live in peace if her approach to living is to address every single slight by every single dumb ass.

Perhaps it's my background of being the only black girl in the class--in a small town. I heard the racist jokes, been asked racist questions and sat in class with teachers who were either insensitive, didn't hear or didn't care. And never ONCE in HS did I ever even mention the comments to my parents. Every class has dumb ass clowns in it (especially in HS), so I just thought of them as the dumb ass clowns and kept it moving. There were a few who seemed well-meaning and genuinely curious about black people, but I attributed their questions to ignorance and innocence. I'd hate to think of who I'd be today if my mother taught me by her actions that I was a victim, that I should react to every negative comment and that everyone up to the Superintendent needed to know about how badly her baby was being mistreated and that ignorant comments would not be tolerated! Not around her baby and not on her tax payer dime. Humph!

Calm down. Your experiences may not mirror OP's daughter's experiences. One size does not fit all in how things occur and how they're handled.

I'm sure OP understands that calling or emailing the school is not a good idea.

If you're talking about being in a classroom where an insensitive comment is made about blacks, then our experiences do mirror one another's. Though frankly, they don't have to. The bottom line is that DD needs to learn sooner rather than later to grow a thicker skin--especially as a black person. And that simply will not happen as long as Mommy's knee-jerk reaction is to contact a dean over a single comment made in class.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:AM I CRAZY???!!!!

Am I the only one who thinks this should've rolled off DD's back with a thought of "dumb ass" and an eye roll?

Before anyone starts, I'm the AA female who's preparing to send her own DC off to college, and for the life of me I can't understand going to a Diversity office, emailing a dean/professor, etc. This was nothing more than a dumb ass making a dumb ass comment. If she'd been physically assaulted or if this was even an ongoing thing, then I could see the point. But it's not. It's one comment that she should not even be thinking about a week later. But if it's blown into a federal case, it becomes a much bigger deal than it ever needed to be. Teach DD to have a thicker skin instead of reacting to every little comment and blowing things out of proportion. That child will never live in peace if her approach to living is to address every single slight by every single dumb ass.

Perhaps it's my background of being the only black girl in the class--in a small town. I heard the racist jokes, been asked racist questions and sat in class with teachers who were either insensitive, didn't hear or didn't care. And never ONCE in HS did I ever even mention the comments to my parents. Every class has dumb ass clowns in it (especially in HS), so I just thought of them as the dumb ass clowns and kept it moving. There were a few who seemed well-meaning and genuinely curious about black people, but I attributed their questions to ignorance and innocence. I'd hate to think of who I'd be today if my mother taught me by her actions that I was a victim, that I should react to every negative comment and that everyone up to the Superintendent needed to know about how badly her baby was being mistreated and that ignorant comments would not be tolerated! Not around her baby and not on her tax payer dime. Humph!

Calm down. Your experiences may not mirror OP's daughter's experiences. One size does not fit all in how things occur and how they're handled.

I'm sure OP understands that calling or emailing the school is not a good idea.

If you're talking about being in a classroom where an insensitive comment is made about blacks, then our experiences do mirror one another's. Though frankly, they don't have to. The bottom line is that DD needs to learn sooner rather than later to grow a thicker skin--especially as a black person. And that simply will not happen as long as Mommy's knee-jerk reaction is to contact a dean over a single comment made in class.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:AM I CRAZY???!!!!

Am I the only one who thinks this should've rolled off DD's back with a thought of "dumb ass" and an eye roll?

Before anyone starts, I'm the AA female who's preparing to send her own DC off to college, and for the life of me I can't understand going to a Diversity office, emailing a dean/professor, etc. This was nothing more than a dumb ass making a dumb ass comment. If she'd been physically assaulted or if this was even an ongoing thing, then I could see the point. But it's not. It's one comment that she should not even be thinking about a week later. But if it's blown into a federal case, it becomes a much bigger deal than it ever needed to be. Teach DD to have a thicker skin instead of reacting to every little comment and blowing things out of proportion. That child will never live in peace if her approach to living is to address every single slight by every single dumb ass.

Perhaps it's my background of being the only black girl in the class--in a small town. I heard the racist jokes, been asked racist questions and sat in class with teachers who were either insensitive, didn't hear or didn't care. And never ONCE in HS did I ever even mention the comments to my parents. Every class has dumb ass clowns in it (especially in HS), so I just thought of them as the dumb ass clowns and kept it moving. There were a few who seemed well-meaning and genuinely curious about black people, but I attributed their questions to ignorance and innocence. I'd hate to think of who I'd be today if my mother taught me by her actions that I was a victim, that I should react to every negative comment and that everyone up to the Superintendent needed to know about how badly her baby was being mistreated and that ignorant comments would not be tolerated! Not around her baby and not on her tax payer dime. Humph!

Calm down. Your experiences may not mirror OP's daughter's experiences. One size does not fit all in how things occur and how they're handled.

I'm sure OP understands that calling or emailing the school is not a good idea.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:AM I CRAZY???!!!!

Am I the only one who thinks this should've rolled off DD's back with a thought of "dumb ass" and an eye roll?

Before anyone starts, I'm the AA female who's preparing to send her own DC off to college, and for the life of me I can't understand going to a Diversity office, emailing a dean/professor, etc. This was nothing more than a dumb ass making a dumb ass comment. If she'd been physically assaulted or if this was even an ongoing thing, then I could see the point. But it's not. It's one comment that she should not even be thinking about a week later. But if it's blown into a federal case, it becomes a much bigger deal than it ever needed to be. Teach DD to have a thicker skin instead of reacting to every little comment and blowing things out of proportion. That child will never live in peace if her approach to living is to address every single slight by every single dumb ass.

Perhaps it's my background of being the only black girl in the class--in a small town. I heard the racist jokes, been asked racist questions and sat in class with teachers who were either insensitive, didn't hear or didn't care. And never ONCE in HS did I ever even mention the comments to my parents. Every class has dumb ass clowns in it (especially in HS), so I just thought of them as the dumb ass clowns and kept it moving. There were a few who seemed well-meaning and genuinely curious about black people, but I attributed their questions to ignorance and innocence. I'd hate to think of who I'd be today if my mother taught me by her actions that I was a victim, that I should react to every negative comment and that everyone up to the Superintendent needed to know about how badly her baby was being mistreated and that ignorant comments would not be tolerated! Not around her baby and not on her tax payer dime. Humph!

Calm down. Your experiences may not mirror OP's daughter's experiences. One size does not fit all in how things occur and how they're handled.

I'm sure OP understands that calling or emailing the school is not a good idea.

Anonymous wrote:AM I CRAZY???!!!!

Am I the only one who thinks this should've rolled off DD's back with a thought of "dumb ass" and an eye roll?

Before anyone starts, I'm the AA female who's preparing to send her own DC off to college, and for the life of me I can't understand going to a Diversity office, emailing a dean/professor, etc. This was nothing more than a dumb ass making a dumb ass comment. If she'd been physically assaulted or if this was even an ongoing thing, then I could see the point. But it's not. It's one comment that she should not even be thinking about a week later. But if it's blown into a federal case, it becomes a much bigger deal than it ever needed to be. Teach DD to have a thicker skin instead of reacting to every little comment and blowing things out of proportion. That child will never live in peace if her approach to living is to address every single slight by every single dumb ass.

Perhaps it's my background of being the only black girl in the class--in a small town. I heard the racist jokes, been asked racist questions and sat in class with teachers who were either insensitive, didn't hear or didn't care. And never ONCE in HS did I ever even mention the comments to my parents. Every class has dumb ass clowns in it (especially in HS), so I just thought of them as the dumb ass clowns and kept it moving. There were a few who seemed well-meaning and genuinely curious about black people, but I attributed their questions to ignorance and innocence. I'd hate to think of who I'd be today if my mother taught me by her actions that I was a victim, that I should react to every negative comment and that everyone up to the Superintendent needed to know about how badly her baby was being mistreated and that ignorant comments would not be tolerated! Not around her baby and not on her tax payer dime. Humph!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter recently told me about something that happened in class.

There was a discussion about gay marriage and adoption. The Professor said something about how she'd talked with black men about it and many of them objected. A student called out "That's why they're in jail, just send them there."

After the comment, everybody in class started laughing loudly, including the Professor who tried to say "that's not nice" between her laughter.

My daughter was among 3 other black students in the class. She did not speak up (and neither did they), but she says she was VERY upset, angry to the point of shaking. She says she contemplated just walking out of the class and leaving school for the rest of the year.

I am LIVID!! I'm paying exorbitant out of state rates for her to attend a school in the South and I won't tolerate having my daughter subjected to racism ON MY DIME.

My daughter says she doesn't want the teacher to get fired and she wants to remain anonymous. How should I handle?

You don't handle. This isn't your fight. This is your daughter's. Tell her to go to the office of diversity affairs,[b] or whatever equivalent there is. But YOU don't do anything. She's an adult, right? Let her handle it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this comment from a student as offensive as black professors who make a point of disparaging "dead white males" in front of the white students in their classes? My DS told me that's what one of his professors did and that it made him feel unwelcome in her class, as if she felt white males could safely be mocked.

I am trying real hard to figure out why your DS saw this as white people being mocked. Its a cliche thats thrown around to refer to the traditional cannon. Mostly I've heard it mentioned by white men and the point is that the traditional cannon is limited and should be expanded. How is this any worse than sitting in a history and learning about what white people did to enforce Jim Crowe? If you can't hear about white people in any kind of negative light, you don't belong in college. And the phrase "dead white males" isn't even a criticism of white men, its just shorthand for the fact that students should be studying MORE than those writers and thinkers.

I think your son just doesn't understand. Maybe these classes are too advanced for him.

Anonymous wrote:My daughter recently told me about something that happened in class.

There was a discussion about gay marriage and adoption. The Professor said something about how she'd talked with black men about it and many of them objected. A student called out "That's why they're in jail, just send them there."

After the comment, everybody in class started laughing loudly, including the Professor who tried to say "that's not nice" between her laughter.

My daughter was among 3 other black students in the class. She did not speak up (and neither did they), but she says she was VERY upset, angry to the point of shaking. She says she contemplated just walking out of the class and leaving school for the rest of the year.

I am LIVID!! I'm paying exorbitant out of state rates for her to attend a school in the South and I won't tolerate having my daughter subjected to racism ON MY DIME.

My daughter says she doesn't want the teacher to get fired and she wants to remain anonymous. How should I handle?