Anonymous wrote:As the mother of a somewhat challenging child, it makes me sad to hear that people are going to shun me and my son because of it.

But as the mother of a somewhat challenging child, do you intervene, redirect, discipline, or do something to try to curb your son's behavior if he is rude or mean to another kid? Are you actively trying to help him get a handle on his behaviors?

If so then your friends are likely to see that and respect that, and still keep getting together with you.

If not, then honestly you are showing a lack of respect to your friends and their children by subjecting them to your child's challenging behaviors without comment or correction and I would not be surprised if the stopped spending time with you due to that.

Op I agree wih another pp about telling your friend if her daughter rolls her eyes behind her back...or does something else behind her back. I have done that in a couple situations with really good friends and they seemed appreciative of the knowledge. Your BFF may not do anything about it, but she may not know the extent to which her dd acts the way she does if nobody tells her.

I tend to think less of women whose kids are a pain in the ass like this. Behavior totally created by the parents.

As the mother of a somewhat challenging child, it makes me sad to hear that people are going to shun me and my son because of it.

Anonymous wrote:

1. Your kids have to deal with the fact they sometimes have to deal with a situation is not to their liking.

Or

2. You teach them the world revolves around them and dump your friend.

You are very linear. Try hinduism.

I am not sure how dharma would have a somebody turn her back on her best friend and call their child hateful names. But maybe you are still stoned from 4/20.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. Your kids have to deal with the fact they sometimes have to deal with a situation is not to their liking.

Or

2. You teach them the world revolves around them and dump your friend.

OP here. I see your point, and in school obviously this is the case (dealing with the fact that my kids will sometimes have to deal with a situation that is not to their liking) but if it is an environment that I can somewhat control, should they have to put up with that?

I guess I just answered my own question.

Except ... Since you are there you actually have some influence on how YOU want your kids to deal with others who are unpleasant... Or you can leave that lesson to some random teacher, who will probably teach your children to tolerate it. That is not what I would want. But that is the beauty of raising children, we all get to take our own path.

OP, just see the mom, without the bratty daughter. You "BFF" may think her daughter is "only" bossy or cute or whatever, but BOY is she going to pay for it later! Both of them, actually.

Anonymous wrote:I was at a family/childrens event the other day when I saw from a distance that my child was acting up, age 7. I was walking over to my child when another parent who was by my child stepped in and firmly told my child to stop. My child listened. As I finally got there, I said thanks, and we started chit chatting. I know some people don't like to discipline other kids but for me, I love it. Don't be scared to step in and say something.

+1

The idea that you kill a friendship over a kid is INSANE. Have an adult conversation with your friend, and don't hesitate to discipline your friend's child when necessary. I don't tolerate rock throwing or hair pulling from any kid, any time, for any reason. I might dump a friend if they had a problem with that.

Anonymous wrote:This happens to friendships. You get along fine until you both have kids and then it's time to let things slide. I had an old friend who just let her kids run all over her and it was very stressful to have them stay with us when they visited. Now when they come to town we don't invite them to stay at the house. They stay at a hotel and I arrange to meet them for a limited time, say dinner or lunch. In small doses, I can deal with her kids. And I never make my daughter come along.

This.
You and she are friends. There is no rule that says your progeny have to be friends.
Taking this approach doesn't mean the OP is "letting her child dictate whatever she wants" It's just common sense.

1. Your kids have to deal with the fact they sometimes have to deal with a situation is not to their liking.

Or

2. You teach them the world revolves around them and dump your friend.

You are very linear. Try hinduism.

OP here I don't "hate" the kid.of course I wouldn't hate a child! Poor phrasing on my part, but come on, really?

This happens to friendships. You get along fine until you both have kids and then it's time to let things slide. I had an old friend who just let her kids run all over her and it was very stressful to have them stay with us when they visited. Now when they come to town we don't invite them to stay at the house. They stay at a hotel and I arrange to meet them for a limited time, say dinner or lunch. In small doses, I can deal with her kids. And I never make my daughter come along.

I have a really good friend who has a daughter the same age as mine. Her daughter can be ruthless and mine can be bossy and it's a hassle if we get together with them. So we don't. We leave the girls at home and have dinner or coffee together instead. Just because we're good friends doesn't mean our girls will even tolerate each other. We were very open with each other as well as aware of our own child's failings.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. Your kids have to deal with the fact they sometimes have to deal with a situation is not to their liking.

Or

2. You teach them the world revolves around them and dump your friend.

-1

That little girl sounds like an asshole and the mother sounds completely oblivious.

Agree

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your friend sucks as a parent. Her DD is a reflection of her non-parenting. It will only get worse.

Start planning adult only get together and if she questions tell her the truth matter of fact , your DDs only like to do play dates with friends and they don't consider her DD a friend.

Yep, that's what they all say until their kid starts cutting the monkey and then of course it is not THEIR parenting.

"Cutting the monkey"?

This -