Anonymous
Post 04/19/2014 21:16     Subject: Am I the Only One Thrilled to Have an Average Child?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Some of these threads make me wonder if there's something wrong with me being okay that my child is quite typical and average.

DS is wonderful, smart, funny, socially adept but somewhat lazy both academically and personally. He half-asses his chores; his cleaning never measures up to my standard of cleanliness. He gets good grades but won't overexert himself. AP? What's that? IB? Why?

In short, he's that typical lazy teen boy you see on sitcoms. He was accepted at several state universities with merit scholarships to boot. But there was no way the Ivies were going to target him in their mailings.

He needs to get on the ball with some things for sure. But he's 18 and will grow into greater maturity and responsibility just like I did. Truth is, he's light years ahead of where he was at my age. And I turned out quite well.

I realize this is a different time. College admissions is a cut-throat game, etc. But some on his board seem to promote the notion that a child must be enrolled in all APs, play sports every season on top of a ton of ECs and a part-time job. Then said child must major in STEM. Anything else will produce an unproductive lazy ass who ends of living in his parents' basement.

I'll add to my DS's list of failings: He's planning to major in Art. He's an unbelievable talent and I advised him to follow his passions.

Is there something wrong with me?


You are awesome OP. I gotta get me some of that. Please send your vibes my way!

*sending vibes PP's way*
Anonymous
Post 04/19/2014 21:16     Subject: Am I the Only One Thrilled to Have an Average Child?
Anonymous wrote:I'll be happy if my kids turn out to be good people even if they dont have high paying jobs. As long as they can support themselves and are happy, I will be content knowing I did a good job as a parent.


That was my goal as well.

And I ended up with what is actually an above average talented wonderful young man who has his choice of many state unis with tons in merit money to boot.
Anonymous
Post 04/19/2014 21:07     Subject: Am I the Only One Thrilled to Have an Average Child?
I'll be happy if my kids turn out to be good people even if they dont have high paying jobs. As long as they can support themselves and are happy, I will be content knowing I did a good job as a parent.
Anonymous
Post 04/19/2014 21:02     Subject: Am I the Only One Thrilled to Have an Average Child?
Anonymous wrote:Some of these threads make me wonder if there's something wrong with me being okay that my child is quite typical and average.

DS is wonderful, smart, funny, socially adept but somewhat lazy both academically and personally. He half-asses his chores; his cleaning never measures up to my standard of cleanliness. He gets good grades but won't overexert himself. AP? What's that? IB? Why?

In short, he's that typical lazy teen boy you see on sitcoms. He was accepted at several state universities with merit scholarships to boot. But there was no way the Ivies were going to target him in their mailings.

He needs to get on the ball with some things for sure. But he's 18 and will grow into greater maturity and responsibility just like I did. Truth is, he's light years ahead of where he was at my age. And I turned out quite well.

I realize this is a different time. College admissions is a cut-throat game, etc. But some on his board seem to promote the notion that a child must be enrolled in all APs, play sports every season on top of a ton of ECs and a part-time job. Then said child must major in STEM. Anything else will produce an unproductive lazy ass who ends of living in his parents' basement.

I'll add to my DS's list of failings: He's planning to major in Art. He's an unbelievable talent and I advised him to follow his passions.

Is there something wrong with me?


You are awesome OP. I gotta get me some of that. Please send your vibes my way!
Anonymous
Post 04/19/2014 20:42     Subject: Re:Am I the Only One Thrilled to Have an Average Child?
Anonymous wrote:I knew many "average" people in high school and your son is not one of them. "Lazy" is normal for a teenage boy talented or not. Average is NOT getting into the state school of your choosing, certainly not getting into Penn State and paying full tuition.

It sounds like your son is definitely above average but with little to no work ethic. That's more worrisome than an average student with a hard work ethic.


Okay, so your point is well taken. Hanging around these boards and boards like College Confidential during the application process left me a bit jaded. It seemed that either children are driven or their parents are pushing them to be driven. My family didn't fall into either category. And I realized I was okay with that. I decided I'd rather have the kid who makes B's, isn't stressed out but enjoys the hell out of his teenage years.

And I stand corrected. I was jaded enough to believe that these days state schools is where the 'average' kids go. And that everyone else went ivy.

Anonymous
Post 04/19/2014 20:34     Subject: Re:Am I the Only One Thrilled to Have an Average Child?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I have really lost the bubble on this whole thread. So it turns out now the kid is actually very talented and knows pretty much what he wants to major in?


sorry OP: you did say this in the first post. Guess I still now clear what the problem is


That's my point: There IS no problem!!!

There is absolutely nothing wrong with having a sit-comical child who is less than driven (to put it mildly) and will not make it to the ivy leagues. That child may still be smart, kind, and have a good head on his/her shoulders despite the laziness.

The point of the thread is that we really need to embrace our children with all of their quirks, enjoy their silliness, lighten the hell up and not take them or ourselves so seriously. Let them find their own way. They may not go ivy, but they'll likely be okay if they know who they are and have a healthy, balanced view of life.
Anonymous
Post 04/19/2014 20:31     Subject: Am I the Only One Thrilled to Have an Average Child?
Anonymous wrote:OP is annoying. So your kid isn't average, he is talented in art. Stop with the humblebrag. Why the misleading title? It would have been an interesting if you put, my kid is average academically, but talented in Art, accepted at several colleges.


Well, your suggestion would be too long of a title.

But I've conceded that perhaps the title should've been "Am I the Only Thrilled that My Child is Not a Superkid" or something along those lines.

Anonymous
Post 04/19/2014 18:18     Subject: Re:Am I the Only One Thrilled to Have an Average Child?
I knew many "average" people in high school and your son is not one of them. "Lazy" is normal for a teenage boy talented or not. Average is NOT getting into the state school of your choosing, certainly not getting into Penn State and paying full tuition.

It sounds like your son is definitely above average but with little to no work ethic. That's more worrisome than an average student with a hard work ethic.
Anonymous
Post 04/19/2014 17:31     Subject: Am I the Only One Thrilled to Have an Average Child?
OP is annoying. So your kid isn't average, he is talented in art. Stop with the humblebrag. Why the misleading title? It would have been an interesting if you put, my kid is average academically, but talented in Art, accepted at several colleges.
Anonymous
Post 04/19/2014 17:14     Subject: Re:Am I the Only One Thrilled to Have an Average Child?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I have really lost the bubble on this whole thread. So it turns out now the kid is actually very talented and knows pretty much what he wants to major in?


sorry OP: you did say this in the first post. Guess I still now clear what the problem is


not
Anonymous
Post 04/19/2014 17:14     Subject: Re:Am I the Only One Thrilled to Have an Average Child?
Anonymous wrote:I have really lost the bubble on this whole thread. So it turns out now the kid is actually very talented and knows pretty much what he wants to major in?


sorry OP: you did say this in the first post. Guess I still now clear what the problem is
Anonymous
Post 04/19/2014 17:10     Subject: Re:Am I the Only One Thrilled to Have an Average Child?
I have really lost the bubble on this whole thread. So it turns out now the kid is actually very talented and knows pretty much what he wants to major in?
Anonymous
Post 04/19/2014 17:09     Subject: Re:Am I the Only One Thrilled to Have an Average Child?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm thrilled your child is average too. Because that means mine is BETTER than yours.


YES!

AND that must mean you're a better parent than me as well!

But in the end, as long as we're all happy in our lanes, does it really matter?


I'm an effortlessly better parent.

My only concern with the Art major is career after graduation. By all means, use that artistic ability in a "real" job while the starving artist thing takes off. My kids are only 16 and 14 so I'm not there yet. But I agree with you- be happy and don't worry about "success" so much.



Some people are so talented they should be an art major. My dc had a friend over who was drawing and I was blown away by how amazing the friend's sketches were. I thought wow this person should major in art because they have a talent not many people do.
Anonymous
Post 04/19/2014 15:51     Subject: Am I the Only One Thrilled to Have an Average Child?
Anonymous wrote:With a background in art, in addition to whatever creative he wants to do, he can also get into design for gaming and design for websites. Learning UI/UX and a little bit of coding could be plenty in terms of career path.



So true. I wish more of us would allow our children to think outside the box in terms of following passions and turning them into a career path.

My DS may not be a 4.0 having advanced class taking kinda guy but he has a good head on his shoulders. We had another conversation about college this morning. He plans to dual major in art and "well something else" (his words) because he realizes that while creativity is nice he also needs to follow a practical path because he'll need to find a job. He came to this conclusion on his own. My mantra over the years have been: 1) Follow your passions 2)Be sure you can support yourself. But when it came to deciding on a major I advised him to choose whatever he's passionate about. He chose art; I said "Cool!" knowing full well he will figure out a way to make it work for him in the future.

I'm so thrilled I didn't have to beat him over the head or 'force him' into thinking about a career and choosing a practical major.

Throughout his life I've allowed him to make decisions, mistakes and learn from them. The outcome is what I have now: A kid who (usually) doesn't need to be beat over the head with commonsense or have his mommy hold his hand and lead him to the right choices.

Anonymous
Post 04/19/2014 15:39     Subject: Re:Am I the Only One Thrilled to Have an Average Child?
Anonymous wrote:
And I consider art an interest. His portfolio has gotten him some pretty generous scholarship money.


Oh, so do I. But you didn't make it clear that art was something he was working hard to pursue, you just stated that he had talent in it and was going to major in it, which are different, IMO. If he works hard at art, that's great.


Oh well. Then your point stands.

My son doesn't work hard in anything.

However, he does like art, is talented and plans to major in it.