Anonymous wrote:I'm 40. My friend got pregnant at 14, baby at 15. 3 babies with same man by 21. Her kids are all launched and I have a nursling...

She's also a really great programer who makes a lot of money at a big IT company.

and she might live to see her grandchildren while I might not.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think a person is ready to have sex when they can accept the consequences (STDs, pregnancy). If they don't have a realistic plan for dealing with it, they are not ready.

I have 2 girls, and if they get pregnant, I'm not raising it.

Their choices are to abort or take care of it themselves. (And I would ensure that the father pay child support).

I know a ("Good" Catholic) woman who gave up her child when she got preg at 16. Later on she married the father of her first baby and they had 3 girls. Now she has to worry about her girls dating their brother. ICK.

Selfish to have a baby and dump it on someone else.

She sounds neurotic. If that happens, she should buy a lottery ticket, too.

Anonymous wrote:I think a person is ready to have sex when they can accept the consequences (STDs, pregnancy). If they don't have a realistic plan for dealing with it, they are not ready.

I have 2 girls, and if they get pregnant, I'm not raising it.

Their choices are to abort or take care of it themselves. (And I would ensure that the father pay child support).

I know a ("Good" Catholic) woman who gave up her child when she got preg at 16. Later on she married the father of her first baby and they had 3 girls. Now she has to worry about her girls dating their brother. ICK.

Selfish to have a baby and dump it on someone else.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can keep talking all you want. Kids are getting into trouble because they don't feel cared for. Period.

No, kids are just curious. I remember specifically wondering why sex was such a big deal when I was 13 and 14. I was well cared for, and lived a boring suburban life. Maybe that's why me and my girlfriends were so curious. The result of this? We had a contest to see who would lose our virginity first. I STILL can't believe that I came in second!

I'm sure I came in last, but my marriage has lasted 20 years. Who won?

Do you really measure yourself by such mean points?

Anonymous wrote:Tell this to the mom who posted about her 17 yr old having sex and is ok with it. The girl he had sex with said she got pregnant, but then later said she lied (whether she really was pregnant and had the abortion, then said she wasn't pregnant, I don't know). Anyhow, the boy called her a whore, slut and loser when she told him she was pregnant. Personally, I don't think any kids in HS s/b having sex for exactly this reason... condoms break, accidents happen, heat of the moment. Is it worth the risk of possibly getting pregnant or getting a girl pregnant while in HS? I've heard all the "be realistic" argument, but it still doesn't mean I have to be OK with it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Say: "Sex, when you're with someone you love, is a really wonderful and powerful part of life, and it comes with many responsibilities that two people in love can share. Sex with someone you love, and who loves you, can bring you even closer and it's so exciting to be able to make each other feel good physically and emotionally. Mutual love and respect are magnified by sex. It's magical.
"On the other hand, sex with someone you don't love, or you believe doesn't love you, can drive you apart. Remember, love and respect will never be created by sex, only enhanced. If you're having sex with someone you don't completely trust, it can be painful both physically and emotionally, and unfortunately, girls often bear the brunt of the emotional side. (For boys: If you love her, you must show her first, and gain her complete trust, or the sex won't be enjoyable for her, and thus won't end up being as great for you.) (For girls: Unfortunately, girls often bear the brunt of the emotional side, so you must wait until you really trust him, and know that you'll be able to handle any problems that arise together.) (For Both: Please know that you can come to me at any time if you have any questions about anything, and I will support you. When you feel you're ready, I won't judge you, and I'll help you take the right precautions so you and s/he will stay healthy.)"

What a bunch of BS! Sex is not magical, it's a part of life for grownups. If you tell kids it can be "magical" (which it isn't, it's physical and emotional), they'll want to have it. Listen to PP at your kids' peril. Here's another poster who just doesn't get it. What kids need to hear is go to college. Teen pregnancy will ruin your life, whether you have the baby or not. Learn how to say "NO" and mean it. Tell boys it'll ruin their future, too, because they don't hear it enough around here.

Personally, I knew a few kids who were sexually active at a young age. It didn't help them at all. A friend's sister had a baby at 16, married the boy, kept the baby, divorced the father a few years later, lived with her parents through college and eventually married a nice guy. This may seem like a happy outcome to those of you who have no sense, but as an observer from a safe distance, I think she wasted several years of her life on a guy her sister called a bum. To everyone.

Here's what you tell DD. Use birth control. Learn about your reproductive system. But more than that. Look at this guy: is he worth 18 years of child support arguments? Is he worth never having a life of your own? Go to college baby free. Plan for a future of your own first, have big dreams and pursue them with passion. Look beyond the guys you meet and make sure to protect yourself physically and emotionally. Never let yourself be pressured into sex and never put yourself into a position in which you can be intimidated. When your peers behave differently, think for yourself.

Anyone who lives by magical thinking is an utter moron.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What a bunch of BS! Sex is not magical, it's a part of life for grownups. If you tell kids it can be "magical" (which it isn't, it's physical and emotional), they'll want to have it. Listen to PP at your kids' peril. Here's another poster who just doesn't get it. What kids need to hear is go to college. Teen pregnancy will ruin your life, whether you have the baby or not. Learn how to say "NO" and mean it. Tell boys it'll ruin their future, too, because they don't hear it enough around here.
Personally, I knew a few kids who were sexually active at a young age. It didn't help them at all. A friend's sister had a baby at 16, married the boy, kept the baby, divorced the father a few years later, lived with her parents through college and eventually married a nice guy. This may seem like a happy outcome to those of you who have no sense, but as an observer from a safe distance, I think she wasted several years of her life on a guy her sister called a bum. To everyone.

Here's what you tell DD. Use birth control. Learn about your reproductive system. But more than that. Look at this guy: is he worth 18 years of child support arguments? Is he worth never having a life of your own? Go to college baby free. Plan for a future of your own first, have big dreams and pursue them with passion. Look beyond the guys you meet and make sure to protect yourself physically and emotionally. Never let yourself be pressured into sex and never put yourself into a position in which you can be intimidated. When your peers behave differently, think for yourself. Anyone who lives by magical thinking is an utter moron.

Fair enough -- I was feeling a little flowery. I meant it's "magical" that love and trust can be magnified. I agree with all your points, but think I was going for a different, younger audience, and for girls who think "if I sleep with him, he'll want to be with me." It's that mentality I hope to avoid, through fostering self-confidence, abut also by noting that sex doesn't lead to love. Teen pregnancy is terrible, but it's not the only sad result of teen sex.