Anonymous
Post 03/26/2014 20:42     Subject: Ever wonder how others afford their lifestyle?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Yes, OP, I'm friends with a couple that I swear must've won the lottery. Endless home improvements, vacations, expensive clothes, dinners out, and supposedly enough left over for investments -- all on an income smaller than ours and a mortgage double ours.

DH and I don't get it, but we've stopped trying to figure it out.


We have friends who live fairly modestly but travel extensively and are full pay at one DC's very pricey college. One spouse doesn't work, the other is a fed (so we have a fair idea of what salary is). We don't think there is family money. DH and I are convinced that they either won the lottery or are involved in some kind of kickback scheme, lol. We love them, regardless!


How do you know this? I always felt like college was the one place where people lied -- in both directions -- i.e. my kid got a merit scholarship (when it's really a grant or part of a financial aid package) or "oh -- only the best for my kid, we told him he can go anywhere he wants and money is no objection" -- but then they are quietly filling out the financial aid forms like everyone else or having their kid take out significant loans without worry because of course they'll get a 100k job right out of that college.
Anonymous
Post 03/26/2014 17:27     Subject: Ever wonder how others afford their lifestyle?
I am a teacher and often wonder at how my similarly paid colleagues are spending their money
- mid thirties colleague who is underwater on mortgage, cc debt, no retirement savings and student loans... Bought a brand new truck with all the bells and whistles
- colleague and her slightly higher paid husband in their twenties bought a 660k townhouse, and are already upgrading it (her parents put collateral down for the down payment).
- colleague and her husband are sending two children to private liberal art colleges...they are thinking of selling their house and renting a basement apartment to fund this
-colleague and her husband did a short sale on their condo...but are now renting a $3500 house
Anonymous
Post 03/26/2014 17:19     Subject: Ever wonder how others afford their lifestyle?
People would never guess that dh and I are essentially millionaires. My frugal father, who was a retired bus driver, left a nearly $2 million dollar estate to me and my brother. No one would ever have guessed he had that money, or how much we have now.

Fortunately we're not the conspicuous consumption types, so we'll hopefully still have this money later on!
Anonymous
Post 03/26/2014 15:25     Subject: Ever wonder how others afford their lifestyle?


I work in law enforcement you would be shocked at how many professionals are stealing to accomodate the lifestyle that they think they deserve. And, too many organizations are so trusting that they let it happen.

It is always the people you never suspect. So to the PP who listed the ones below. I totally agree.


Anonymous wrote:Usually one of the following four apply:

1) Drug money
2) Embezzlement
3) Inheritance or trust
4) Massive CC debt.
Anonymous
Post 03/26/2014 13:55     Subject: Ever wonder how others afford their lifestyle?
Anonymous wrote:DH and I are both 27. We make 170k (roughly the same as our friends). [/b]Many people have commented that our home was purchased with inheritance at 24. Or that our black tie wedding was a gift from parents. Nope and nope. [b]

We basically at beans/ramen/pasta at home and lived WAY below our means. I am great at investing. We're now moving into an 800k home with 350k downpayment. We also think getting married young has really, really helped us save more. I had two incomes when my friends were still living with roommates.


Unless these people are your relatives and co-workers, you need some new friends.
Anonymous
Post 03/26/2014 12:48     Subject: Re:Ever wonder how others afford their lifestyle?
We go to Disney 1-2 times per year, usually for 4 days. I don't consider this an expensive trip. We do it as a long weekend trip. This is much cheaper than my previous international trips.
Anonymous
Post 03/26/2014 11:33     Subject: Ever wonder how others afford their lifestyle?
A friend is married to a cable guy and travels internationally sometimes twice a year, has two houses and buys other expensive things. I just don't know how they do it, but good for them.
Anonymous
Post 03/26/2014 11:32     Subject: Ever wonder how others afford their lifestyle?
DH and I are both 27. We make 170k (roughly the same as our friends). Many people have commented that our home was purchased with inheritance at 24. Or that our black tie wedding was a gift from parents. Nope and nope.

We basically at beans/ramen/pasta at home and lived WAY below our means. I am great at investing. We're now moving into an 800k home with 350k downpayment. We also think getting married young has really, really helped us save more. I had two incomes when my friends were still living with roommates.
Anonymous
Post 03/26/2014 11:19     Subject: Ever wonder how others afford their lifestyle?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Yes, OP, I'm friends with a couple that I swear must've won the lottery. Endless home improvements, vacations, expensive clothes, dinners out, and supposedly enough left over for investments -- all on an income smaller than ours and a mortgage double ours.

DH and I don't get it, but we've stopped trying to figure it out.


We have friends who live fairly modestly but travel extensively and are full pay at one DC's very pricey college. One spouse doesn't work, the other is a fed (so we have a fair idea of what salary is). We don't think there is family money. DH and I are convinced that they either won the lottery or are involved in some kind of kickback scheme, lol. We love them, regardless!


What do you mean by "are full pay at one DC's very pricey college"?


Not PP, but I think she means that this couple pays full tuition/room & board for their one kid at an expensive college - no aid, loans etc.
Anonymous
Post 03/26/2014 10:40     Subject: Ever wonder how others afford their lifestyle?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My contractor, plumber and handyman all have beach houses or lake houses (I don't). I think self employed folks or business owners who deal in cash often do better than the white collar professionals.


There is absolutely truth in this. DH works for himself. Working for oneself, in and of itself, is one of the hardest things to do if you are relying on that as your sole income. You can NOT spend money freely and/or at your whim. That is not reality.

We are baffled by other couples who order the highest cost items on the menu and (to top it off) the expensive wine (more than one or two, usually), buy expensive clothes, and have expensive habits in general. We have no mortgages, no car notes, are very frugal about every day things.

I tend to be the better investor, though we both have a talent for it. Believe me, it is NOT luck, you have to know what you are doing. People like to believe it is luck, it makes them feel better, I suppose. People ask me for investment advice all the time, but it is not so easily explained. Part of it is being independent for the amount of time in my life thus far, my parents paid for nothing (ever), and I was certainly never coddled. I think so many parts of this are foreign concepts to most.



Do you ever let yourself have a good time? You can be frugal without sucking all the fun out of life.


This. I live frugally but like to travel. It's the only "luxury" thing I like. Therefore, I safe as much as I can to be able to travel at least once a year. Gotta have some fun in life.
Anonymous
Post 03/26/2014 10:33     Subject: Ever wonder how others afford their lifestyle?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My contractor, plumber and handyman all have beach houses or lake houses (I don't). I think self employed folks or business owners who deal in cash often do better than the white collar professionals.


There is absolutely truth in this. DH works for himself. Working for oneself, in and of itself, is one of the hardest things to do if you are relying on that as your sole income. You can NOT spend money freely and/or at your whim. That is not reality.

We are baffled by other couples who order the highest cost items on the menu and (to top it off) the expensive wine (more than one or two, usually), buy expensive clothes, and have expensive habits in general. We have no mortgages, no car notes, are very frugal about every day things.

I tend to be the better investor, though we both have a talent for it. Believe me, it is NOT luck, you have to know what you are doing. People like to believe it is luck, it makes them feel better, I suppose. People ask me for investment advice all the time, but it is not so easily explained. Part of it is being independent for the amount of time in my life thus far, my parents paid for nothing (ever), and I was certainly never coddled. I think so many parts of this are foreign concepts to most.



Do you ever let yourself have a good time? You can be frugal without sucking all the fun out of life.
Anonymous
Post 03/26/2014 10:20     Subject: Ever wonder how others afford their lifestyle?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Yes, OP, I'm friends with a couple that I swear must've won the lottery. Endless home improvements, vacations, expensive clothes, dinners out, and supposedly enough left over for investments -- all on an income smaller than ours and a mortgage double ours.

DH and I don't get it, but we've stopped trying to figure it out.


We have friends who live fairly modestly but travel extensively and are full pay at one DC's very pricey college. One spouse doesn't work, the other is a fed (so we have a fair idea of what salary is). We don't think there is family money. DH and I are convinced that they either won the lottery or are involved in some kind of kickback scheme, lol. We love them, regardless!


What do you mean by "are full pay at one DC's very pricey college"?
Anonymous
Post 03/26/2014 09:56     Subject: Re:Ever wonder how others afford their lifestyle?
My mom told me when I was very young that everyone spends their money differently. We had neighbors that were always going on fancy vacations, and we never went ANYWHERE. Kids went to private school. Fast forward 20 years and their house is falling apart (deferred maintenance) and the kids have significant student loans.

But yes, OP, I notice this all the time.
Anonymous
Post 03/26/2014 08:12     Subject: Re:Ever wonder how others afford their lifestyle?
We had neighbors who seemed to live the life: beach house, big house, new car, nanny, trips to Disney, SAHM (just while pregnant!) DH worked for self at computer company but seemed to be home frequently or on a boat? his?
One day I was there when everyone had a bit much to drink -- it spilled out that "DH does not have to work at all" None of us do. They have since moved to Florida. Yes, they are very rich, but they kept a low profile and I never would have known except that one time...
Anonymous
Post 03/26/2014 00:27     Subject: Ever wonder how others afford their lifestyle?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Yes, OP, I'm friends with a couple that I swear must've won the lottery. Endless home improvements, vacations, expensive clothes, dinners out, and supposedly enough left over for investments -- all on an income smaller than ours and a mortgage double ours.

DH and I don't get it, but we've stopped trying to figure it out.


We have friends who live fairly modestly but travel extensively and are full pay at one DC's very pricey college. One spouse doesn't work, the other is a fed (so we have a fair idea of what salary is). We don't think there is family money. DH and I are convinced that they either won the lottery or are involved in some kind of kickback scheme, lol. We love them, regardless!


This is likely where you are wrong. People often don't talk about it. My BFF has a multi-million dollar inheritance and I am the only one of her large circle that knows about it.