Anonymous wrote:My son has worked incredibly hard throughout high school and has the grades to show for it. I will do whatever I can for him to go to the school he wants. He has earned it.

BTW, when schools, particularly SLACs say they do not give merit aid, it is a bit misleading. Each school makes an independent assessment of your "financial need" so offers can be quite different. In our case they varied from $13.000 to $24,000 for his brother. I get the impression that they think your need is greater if they really want your kid. So if you are middle class, go ahead and apply for FA.

This is absolutely true. If you have a superstar kid, you are much more likely to get "financial" aid than if you have an ordinary "above average" kid, like mine.

I know a superstar who was offered $30K to go to Hopkins. He turned it down to go elsewhere. But Hopkins swears that they DO NOT offer merit aid. This kid's parents had the $ for private tuition, but they applied for FA just to see if they'd get any. Hopkins wanted their superstar kid, so they offered him money. The school the superstar ended up going to didn't offer a penny of FA!

Now, Hopkins will never let on that they do this, nor will any of the other competitive schools, but THEY LIE! If they want your kid, they will offer more money. But this only happens to superstars. The above averages, just have to go to state schools or take out loans if they are middle class.

Anonymous wrote:We are in the same boat. I don't want my children in debt up to their ears, and I don't believe my current college contender will get into any Ivies or schools like Stanford. Her hopes are set on small liberal arts schools which I consider pretty competitive to get into. However, I don't want her to acquire such huge debt for those schools. The state school option is upsetting to her because of the size of the school. The smaller honors college was not her cup of tea. I think and hope that she will come around to realize that state school is her best option in spite of the size.

PP. Identical situation here. I have told DC that state school is better than community college or not going anywhere. What's the value of acceptance to Princeton if there's no money? DC just wants to apply to see if DC gets accepted. OK, I'll spend the $100, but I'm making DC apply to state schools too, even though DC's stats are way too high for state schools. But what's the other option? I don't see one unless some small SLAC falls in love with my kid and hands DC a full scholarship. Dream on, kiddo.

PP, even if your child gets into Harvard, their financial aid is very limited, just better than many other places because they have so much money. According to Harvard's financial aid planner, we'd pay $50K plus to send our child to Harvard, and no way can we spend that much money, even for Harvard! It's impossible for us and financially completely imprudent! Do you want to spend down your savings so you have nothing just so your kid can go to some fancy school?

I went to an Ivy, and to a competitive private grad school, but that was years ago, when tuition was affordable for the middle class. Those days are long gone.

It's so upsetting and frustrating. I want my child to have the great education I had, but it costs too much!

We are middle class and do not qualify for financial aid. FAFSA says we can pay $38K. Ha. I don't know what they are talking about!! Honestly. We can pull off about $22K, which means in-state or merit aid at privates. We cannot spend all our hard-earned savings to send our child to college, and we will not allow our child to have huge loans, even if the college offers them. No way.

DC is smart, but we have four kids, so spending all of our $$ to send DC to a nice SLAC (think Swarthmore, Bowdoin, Williams), would mean the rest of the kids will need full scholarships to go to any school, even in-state. Not going to happen.

DC is going to have to get merit aid at lesser schools (yes, they do offer merit, but not the competitive SLACs similar to the ones I mentioned above), or go to our state U, which is too big, and not appropriate for DC, who is shy and will surely be overwhelmed there.

College just costs too much for middle class families, except for in-state tuition. And even that can be steep for middle class families with a bunch of kids.

To the OP: If you feel you can pay full freight, then do so at the school that your DC likes best and you think is the best for for him/her. I don't think it's a matter of value. If HYP is not the best fit for your child (and none of them would fit my DC), then paying anything to go there is a waste of money.

I would not pay $62K to any college on principal, but I don't have the money, so it's a moot point. The cost of college has skyrocketed, far faster than the cost of living. Why? Well, look around at all those expensive buildings, those pricy professors and all those college graduates staggaring under the weight of those $100K or more student loans they took out. That part-time waitressing job ain't even going to pay the interest on those loans! Many college graduates, including Ivy League grads, do not have jobs when they graduate and remain unemployed or underemployed for a long time after they graduate.

We are in the same boat. I don't want my children in debt up to their ears, and I don't believe my current college contender will get into any Ivies or schools like Stanford. Her hopes are set on small liberal arts schools which I consider pretty competitive to get into. However, I don't want her to acquire such huge debt for those schools. The state school option is upsetting to her because of the size of the school. The smaller honors college was not her cup of tea. I think and hope that she will come around to realize that state school is her best option in spite of the size.

UVA! you get the best bang for your buck even for out of state tuition! Cheaper then Ivy but you get an amazing education. Save the Ivies for grad school IMO.

Anonymous wrote:Williams offers an exceptional undergraduate education. Maybe better than HYP for undergraduate. Believe me Williams is very well known by recruiters and graduate schools. If your friends have no heard of Williams they know very little about higher education. Go for it.

Uh huh. Get real. Bang for the buck simply isn't there.

My son has worked incredibly hard throughout high school and has the grades to show for it. I will do whatever I can for him to go to the school he wants. He has earned it.

BTW, when schools, particularly SLACs say they do not give merit aid, it is a bit misleading. Each school makes an independent assessment of your "financial need" so offers can be quite different. In our case they varied from $13.000 to $24,000 for his brother. I get the impression that they think your need is greater if they really want your kid. So if you are middle class, go ahead and apply for FA.

Anonymous wrote:People who don't know Williams, are clueless about higher ed. Their opinion is unimportant. However, if you can't afford it, you can't afford it. Make peace and move on.

+1. The right college fit can make a difference in how your child matures and seizes adulthood. If you have an intellectually-oriented child, the most prestigious schools make sense because there really is a different level of thinking going on among the students. But, you can't afford what you can't afford. You're no less parent because you can't afford prep school or $300/hour test tutors. If your child is a high flyer, they will do well anywhere. If they hate the Greek scene, there is plenty of room at frat-dominate schools like UVA and Michigan to have lots of friends and a good social life. Ole Miss might not be anyone's idea of an intellectual powerhouse or a liberal school, but there is a strong, racially diverse community of writers in Oxford and superb historians of the South that aggressively refute Confederate nostalgia. There are always a couple superstar students at 2nd tier schools who have greater opportunities and visibility than they would have at a more selective colleges. My friends who teach at these schools get incredibly excited when they come across a smart, engaged student and will go way out of their way to help them. Their classmates may not be as intellectually stimulating, but the professors and successful alumni can be an even more valuable network. Think of college like the market for cars. Some of us would love to drive a Porsche or a Tesla or a Ferrari, but others prefer a Benz or BMW. A few of us can easily afford to pay the sticker price. However, most of us can't, even if the dealer offered a 50% discount. So we settle for a Chevy or a Ford. They get you to and from work and the grocery store just the same and they can foster the same crazy level of loyalty as the more expensive brands.

HYPSM Period

Once you get beyond that pedigree, it's better to go for the merit aid a slightly lower ranked school.

Anonymous wrote:DS has an opportunity to go to Williams - he has the grades but not quite the test scores, but is an athlete and is being recruited. He wants to study something they don't teach at Williams. We qualify for a very small amount of grant aid, according to the net price calculator. We would have to take out loans to make it work. Not sure it's worth it. Another kid we know who is going as a recruited athlete next year is constantly getting the "Williams?" (blank look) from people - which makes me doubt that its name recognition and reputation sis o great that it's worth going into debt for, if they don't have what DS wants to study (so he'd have to go to graduate school). I am getting the "Williams is worth it" from a few people, but not sure its name recognition is even there, or worth it.
Thoughts?

It is worth it. You are paying for an education not name recognition by fiends Williams offers an exceptional undergraduate education. Maybe better than HYP for undergraduate. Believe me Williams is very well known by recruiters and graduate schools. If your friends have no heard of Williams they know very little about higher education. Go for it.

Anonymous wrote:DS has an opportunity to go to Williams - he has the grades but not quite the test scores, but is an athlete and is being recruited. He wants to study something they don't teach at Williams. We qualify for a very small amount of grant aid, according to the net price calculator. We would have to take out loans to make it work. Not sure it's worth it. Another kid we know who is going as a recruited athlete next year is constantly getting the "Williams?" (blank look) from people - which makes me doubt that its name recognition and reputation sis o great that it's worth going into debt for, if they don't have what DS wants to study (so he'd have to go to graduate school). I am getting the "Williams is worth it" from a few people, but not sure its name recognition is even there, or worth it.
Thoughts?

I was accepted to Williams from a middle class family that didn't quality for financial aid (back in the early aughts). I ended up at a different SLAC that gave me significant merit aid and graduated without debt. It made a huge difference in my ability to chose whichever job or graduate school and pursue my non-profit career. If Williams doesn't have what he wants to study, there's no reason to make such a financial sacrifice.

People who don't know Williams, are clueless about higher ed. Their opinion is unimportant. However, if you can't afford it, you can't afford it. Make peace and move on.

Anonymous wrote:DS has an opportunity to go to Williams - he has the grades but not quite the test scores, but is an athlete and is being recruited. He wants to study something they don't teach at Williams. We qualify for a very small amount of grant aid, according to the net price calculator. We would have to take out loans to make it work. Not sure it's worth it. Another kid we know who is going as a recruited athlete next year is constantly getting the "Williams?" (blank look) from people - which makes me doubt that its name recognition and reputation sis o great that it's worth going into debt for, if they don't have what DS wants to study (so he'd have to go to graduate school). I am getting the "Williams is worth it" from a few people, but not sure its name recognition is even there, or worth it.
Thoughts?

I'm not so sure I would encourages DC to attend a school that doesn't offer the curriculum he's interested in though many kids end of changing majors. Do you really want to make that type of financial investment if they don't offer what your son wants? I would weigh other options since you have to make a major financial contribution.

DS has an opportunity to go to Williams - he has the grades but not quite the test scores, but is an athlete and is being recruited. He wants to study something they don't teach at Williams. We qualify for a very small amount of grant aid, according to the net price calculator. We would have to take out loans to make it work. Not sure it's worth it. Another kid we know who is going as a recruited athlete next year is constantly getting the "Williams?" (blank look) from people - which makes me doubt that its name recognition and reputation sis o great that it's worth going into debt for, if they don't have what DS wants to study (so he'd have to go to graduate school). I am getting the "Williams is worth it" from a few people, but not sure its name recognition is even there, or worth it.
Thoughts?

Anonymous wrote:oh what a depressing thread - I have a rising junior and have no idea how I'll be affording college.

the academies.