OP has changed his story. First it was sprung on him the night before, then the morning of. He had no idea why(like did she have a doctor appt), and apparently didn't bother to ask, he just got angry. Later he states it was because she wanted time for herself.
I'm not man bashing. If wife had done this without a reason beyond wanting some time, I'd understand being upset. But OP has left out details, and then put conflicting details in.
Both are crazy and deserve each other.

It's a shit test. Respond with calm amusement. Tell her that you won't be taking DD to school because you have a job to do and it's important to the family that you do it well.

Tell her that she'll be taking DD to school because that's also important to the family.

Decline to engage her further. She'll rage for awhile, but if you stay calm in the face of her emotion, she'll respect and love you for it later.

Anonymous wrote:1. Because she did not want to. That is why she says she couldn't take DD to school. She needed time for "herself." Excuse, DD is out of the house at 7 AM. She doesn't come home until after 3 PM. No time for "yourself?'

2. Sure, DD could carpool if DW was not announcing this the morning of...Jesus!

O.k., I don't see an excuse for that unless she has some serious mental health issues (MAJOR debilitating depression, etc). It sounds as though you and your daughter need to find another way for her to get to school.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:ignore the nagging misandristic shrews here - they've got nothing in their own lives worth living for an simply beat down on any man for any reason.

man up this weekend- sit down have a heart-to-heat about what's going on in the marriage. suggest counseling or whatever but the passive-aggressive approach and what you've been doing 'til now are not the answers.

and kudos to the few women PPs who can see the issue is the wife.

to the other hags you are so full of shit - if this had been a DW posting about her DH, you'd all be clamoring that she divorce him. so STFU and go find some other outlet.

Well goodness, aren't you somethin'. I believe that I suggested that the OP find a reliable back up plan to get his daughter to school in the morning. Whether he and his wife then opt for marriage counseling/divorce whatever is another story entirely.

Quite honestly I'm having a very difficult time believing this story at all. It just sounds like an unlikely scenario all around...

BTW - you're one of the women I thought posted thoughtful advice. just very sick and tired of seeing garbage slung by a few but very persistent women who simply hate anyone with a penis.

OP, you can't change someone else's behavior but you can change your response to it. I know you want to engage, because it's infuriating, but you will all be better off if you don't.

This guy has posted many times. He does not listen to any of the advice. There have been issues of the DD and him forming a little team against his crazy wife. Does that situation suck? Heck yes, I bet it does.

I get that there are times when she simply has to take on that huge burden of driving your DD to school for a week straight. I don't think that's a big deal. But I do think you are in one heck of a dysfunctional relationship and your posts do come across as vitriolic. I can almost see the bitterness. She's pissed, you're pissed. Whatever you're doing to stay in this for your kid -- newsflash, it's not working. You are both doing damage to her. How in the world is she going to know what a healthy adult relationship looks likes? Trust me, this will impact her later in life.

Anonymous wrote:Sounds to me like DW sprang this on OP just to stick a wrench in the system. Yes, some people live to do this to others. Read all the threads about sociopaths, BPD, manipulators, etc. They are out there. I'm a woman, BTW, raised by someone just like OP's DW. Shiver.

Seriously, my mom would do something like that just to start a fight. If my dad was working too many hours in her mind, she would find a way to start some shit.

Anonymous wrote:1. Because she did not want to. That is why she says she couldn't take DD to school. She needed time for "herself." Excuse, DD is out of the house at 7 AM. She doesn't come home until after 3 PM. No time for "yourself?'

2. Sure, DD could carpool if DW was not announcing this the morning of...Jesus!

OP, you should have calmed down a bit by now. Your holding onto this doesn't do any good. I'm a little concerned you guys feed off of each other in the drama department .

Come on women, this is nuts. If this is true, and there's no reason to think it's not, this is just bat-shit crazy and gives SAHMs a bad name. OP, I'd be livid too. My DH and I both work, so I have a hard time understanding her being stressed out, but you have my sympathy.

She wants out of the marriage as much as you do.
Tell her to get a job asap.
You'll get shared custody the most.
How the hell did you marry her the first place? What's wrong with people? Did you need "papers"?

Sounds to me like DW sprang this on OP just to stick a wrench in the system. Yes, some people live to do this to others. Read all the threads about sociopaths, BPD, manipulators, etc. They are out there. I'm a woman, BTW, raised by someone just like OP's DW. Shiver.

1. Because she did not want to. That is why she says she couldn't take DD to school. She needed time for "herself." Excuse, DD is out of the house at 7 AM. She doesn't come home until after 3 PM. No time for "yourself?'

2. Sure, DD could carpool if DW was not announcing this the morning of...Jesus!

OP, you never answered WHY you wife says she can't take DD to school. BTW, if she's 16, doesn't she have friends she could carpool with?

Anonymous wrote:ignore the nagging misandristic shrews here - they've got nothing in their own lives worth living for an simply beat down on any man for any reason.

man up this weekend- sit down have a heart-to-heat about what's going on in the marriage. suggest counseling or whatever but the passive-aggressive approach and what you've been doing 'til now are not the answers.

and kudos to the few women PPs who can see the issue is the wife.

to the other hags you are so full of shit - if this had been a DW posting about her DH, you'd all be clamoring that she divorce him. so STFU and go find some other outlet.

Well goodness, aren't you somethin'. I believe that I suggested that the OP find a reliable back up plan to get his daughter to school in the morning. Whether he and his wife then opt for marriage counseling/divorce whatever is another story entirely.

Quite honestly I'm having a very difficult time believing this story at all. It just sounds like an unlikely scenario all around...

Woman here. This sounds bad. Wife sounds a tad hysterical. Clearly she is super stressed out, at the very least. How she got that way is another matter, but one thing I have learned from dealing with a VERY difficult HUSBAND is that no matter how unreasonable HE is being, the moment I let it get under my skin, and display anger, I have just been put at severe disadvantage.

OP I would go with the advice to not feed into her antics, these little setups designed to make you look bad, and her general anger outbursts.( Having dealt with an angry husband for whom I pick up slack ALL THE TIME, I find this post all very ass backwards. If you cant do something, you cant do it. Its not complicated.)

Barring more information, it looks to me like these setups are revenge for a perceived imbalance or something in the past. Its very inappropriate and immature.

Definitely discuss therapy, but she might not go for it, because then she would be held accountable. But so will you. Maybe neither of you will like it!

Dont go into therapy to necessarily save the marriage,but go into therapy to get the air cleared so you can proceed with a divorce if it needs to come to that.

Oh, and my daughter sees exactly what my husband does too. And he will not have it good if he keeps up his antics because she is going to not be able to stand him.

And full custody for you OR her is highly highly unlikely.