Anonymous wrote:People who take offense at the timing of such things can not be pleased no matter what. When I told a friend I was expecting, she said "me too!" - I bet you would have preferred she wait and tell me later so I could have my moment or something. When we were expecting my second and my SIL announced she was expecting her first, I debated whether I should say "me too!" right then or wait until the day we were originally planning to announce, so I waited, but even then we ended up announcing just 2 days after she did. I'm sure some people will take offense at our announcement even though when and how to announce had nothing to do with anyone else.

If you take offense at such things, it's your issue, not the SIL's.

This is the only sensible thing to do. The SIL did not wait.

People who take offense at the timing of such things can not be pleased no matter what. When I told a friend I was expecting, she said "me too!" - I bet you would have preferred she wait and tell me later so I could have my moment or something. When we were expecting my second and my SIL announced she was expecting her first, I debated whether I should say "me too!" right then or wait until the day we were originally planning to announce, so I waited, but even then we ended up announcing just 2 days after she did. I'm sure some people will take offense at our announcement even though when and how to announce had nothing to do with anyone else.

If you take offense at such things, it's your issue, not the SIL's.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you sound like the type of woman who throws herself birthday dinners and expects others to pay, probably had a big expensive bachelorette party, expected a push gift, gossips incessantly, has hired a professional photographer for an engagement photoshoot, and has "live, laugh, love" hanging on a sponge painted wall somewhere in your house. Congrats on the baby, but get over yourself.

Well, if I were to throw myself a big birthday dinner, is it wrong for me to expect that the attention would be on ME? Or should I just suck it up when one of the guests chooses to announce her impressive job promotion - thus stealing my thunder? If my fiance and I have an engagement party, should we simply expect another (more beautiful!) couple to stand up and announce their engagement, too?

It all gets so very ridiculous.

Okay, nice creative writing, PP.
You can't be for real. Steal your thunder?
You can't celebrate your birthday and share the excitement in the good fortune of a loved one at the same time? That's f-ed up.

I'm not a jerk. Really I'm not. But might choose to tell my BFF my good news quietly and then let her choose whether or not to share it with everyone at the table. Or I would just mention it in separate conversations with other people - not in a BIG grand announcement sort of way, just sort of in passing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you sound like the type of woman who throws herself birthday dinners and expects others to pay, probably had a big expensive bachelorette party, expected a push gift, gossips incessantly, has hired a professional photographer for an engagement photoshoot, and has "live, laugh, love" hanging on a sponge painted wall somewhere in your house. Congrats on the baby, but get over yourself.

Well, if I were to throw myself a big birthday dinner, is it wrong for me to expect that the attention would be on ME? Or should I just suck it up when one of the guests chooses to announce her impressive job promotion - thus stealing my thunder? If my fiance and I have an engagement party, should we simply expect another (more beautiful!) couple to stand up and announce their engagement, too?

It all gets so very ridiculous.

Okay, nice creative writing, PP.
You can't be for real. Steal your thunder?
You can't celebrate your birthday and share the excitement in the good fortune of a loved one at the same time? That's f-ed up.

Wow, my SIL did this and I was thrilled for her and my brother, and so glad our kids would be close in age.
In a zillion years it wouldn't occur to me to be anything but happy for them and pleased they wanted to share the news.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you sound like the type of woman who throws herself birthday dinners and expects others to pay, probably had a big expensive bachelorette party, expected a push gift, gossips incessantly, has hired a professional photographer for an engagement photoshoot, and has "live, laugh, love" hanging on a sponge painted wall somewhere in your house. Congrats on the baby, but get over yourself.

Well, if I were to throw myself a big birthday dinner, is it wrong for me to expect that the attention would be on ME? Or should I just suck it up when one of the guests chooses to announce her impressive job promotion - thus stealing my thunder? If my fiance and I have an engagement party, should we simply expect another (more beautiful!) couple to stand up and announce their engagement, too?

It all gets so very ridiculous.

LOL -- we announced that we were having a baby at my friend's birthday brunch. Luckily, I have friends who think the more good news to be shared the better.

That's awesome. I hope your friend shared her bday presents with you! She sounds very cool.

Eh my BIL proposed to his gf on the same day DS was born. Haha was quite the day for my in-laws since they got the call while visiting us at the hospital. I think my MIL was ready to burst at the seams with happiness.

Anyways, I didn't care at all. But I hate all attention being on me, so it was nice to have people getting all excited over something else.

No one can be so socially inept as to announce their own pregnancy right after a family member has given birth and not realize it makes them look screamingly needy and self centered. SIL would have to be a complete idiot to have done this as simply announcing her good news. Clearly.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you sound like the type of woman who throws herself birthday dinners and expects others to pay, probably had a big expensive bachelorette party, expected a push gift, gossips incessantly, has hired a professional photographer for an engagement photoshoot, and has "live, laugh, love" hanging on a sponge painted wall somewhere in your house. Congrats on the baby, but get over yourself.

Well, if I were to throw myself a big birthday dinner, is it wrong for me to expect that the attention would be on ME? Or should I just suck it up when one of the guests chooses to announce her impressive job promotion - thus stealing my thunder? If my fiance and I have an engagement party, should we simply expect another (more beautiful!) couple to stand up and announce their engagement, too?

It all gets so very ridiculous.

LOL -- we announced that we were having a baby at my friend's birthday brunch. Luckily, I have friends who think the more good news to be shared the better.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also, it's one thing to be respectful of someone's accomplishment/event/news. It's another to have to maintain silence and avoid sharing your own happy thoughts because of some silly notion of "stealing thunder".

If you're genuinely happy for someone - you don't begrudge them their moment to shine. And you are kind enough to step back and let them bask in the spotlight for a little while. That's the kind thing to do.

SIL could have announced a week or so earlier or later. But she chose the day Op had her baby. Only she knows why she did that, maybe she was planning to wait and just burst at the seams, sometimes that happens. At any rate, another new baby in the family is very joyous news!

Basking in the spotlight? I have news for you: there is no spotlight. There is no "Special Day" for adults. Not everyone gets an episode of their own personal reality tv show focused on them. If you crave the attention and approval of others so badly, that is a red flag that you have some work to do. You just had a new baby? Bask in the glow of your new baby, who, incidentally, doesn't give a crap that Auntie SIL is knocked up.

No one' planning a party. Someone IN YOUR FAMILY has happy news to share, and wants to share it WITH HER FAMILY. What is the big deal?

Well, don't plan your party in my hospital room - 'kay?

Seriously, I have never been in this situation before but I can put myself in those shoes - and, yes, it would bug me. And, yes, I would make a mental note of it. Sorry, I would.

No one' planning a party. Someone IN YOUR FAMILY has happy news to share, and wants to share it WITH HER FAMILY. What is the big deal?

I think it's a little bit inconsiderate, timing wise. Or at least it could be. So much depends on the family dynamics here and whether or not SIL was staging her announcement in a way as to outshine the Op. (Maybe MIL has been L-O-N-G-I-N-G for her daughter to *finally* give her a grand baby). Since the Op IS bothered by this announcement it tends to indicate that there might be some competition between these two ladies, maybe some history there...

So, yes, I can see why this might not be *just* a simple announcement.

OP, I'd be pissed. She is selfish and self-centered and was stealing your moment to be contributing something special to your family by diverting attention to herself. Those who say you are ridiculous to care about anything but the birth of your child are kidding themselves -- they have never experienced this kind of screwed up family dynamics.

Your SIL sounds terribly immature and needy. I hope for her child's sake she matures fast. Congratulations on the birth of your baby, OP.

... but u are not.

Yes you must get her for this, she has crossed the line. Think about how they will talk about how you put that bitch in her place for year to come. Keeping it real.

OP, I'd be pissed. She is selfish and self-centered and was stealing your moment to be contributing something special to your family by diverting attention to herself. Those who say you are ridiculous to care about anything but the birth of your child are kidding themselves -- they have never experienced this kind of screwed up family dynamics.

Your SIL sounds terribly immature and needy. I hope for her child's sake she matures fast. Congratulations on the birth of your baby, OP.

The point is that SIL contacted OP when OP had just given birth and BEFORE congratulating her, said that she was pregnant.

In my exhaustion, I would have said, in my most uninterested voice: "oh, that's nice".

So, yes, SIL is clueless for having chosen a moment when that side of the family is paying attention to something else.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also, it's one thing to be respectful of someone's accomplishment/event/news. It's another to have to maintain silence and avoid sharing your own happy thoughts because of some silly notion of "stealing thunder".

If you're genuinely happy for someone - you don't begrudge them their moment to shine. And you are kind enough to step back and let them bask in the spotlight for a little while. That's the kind thing to do.

SIL could have announced a week or so earlier or later. But she chose the day Op had her baby. Only she knows why she did that, maybe she was planning to wait and just burst at the seams, sometimes that happens. At any rate, another new baby in the family is very joyous news!

Basking in the spotlight? I have news for you: there is no spotlight. There is no "Special Day" for adults. Not everyone gets an episode of their own personal reality tv show focused on them. If you crave the attention and approval of others so badly, that is a red flag that you have some work to do. You just had a new baby? Bask in the glow of your new baby, who, incidentally, doesn't give a crap that Auntie SIL is knocked up.

No one' planning a party. Someone IN YOUR FAMILY has happy news to share, and wants to share it WITH HER FAMILY. What is the big deal?

Well, don't plan your party in my hospital room - 'kay?

Seriously, I have never been in this situation before but I can put myself in those shoes - and, yes, it would bug me. And, yes, I would make a mental note of it. Sorry, I would.

No one' planning a party. Someone IN YOUR FAMILY has happy news to share, and wants to share it WITH HER FAMILY. What is the big deal?