Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think people are responding to the graded treats. Straight A's, pizza and soda and early entry. Next level down, soda but no pizza or early entry. Next level, no food. Lowest level, not welcome at all. Who comes up with this stuff? Educators? It's idiotic and embarrassing.

Not to mention that the whole party was structured so that only those with straight As could go during the school day -- every one else who qualified had to stay after school to enjoy, which meant, really, most non-straight A kids who qualified for some other level of participation couldn't even participate because most of them have to go home after school for jobs, family care, or because they don't have parents who can pick them up and must take the bus home. It really speaks to the lack of understanding that the administration has about the lives of their own students.

Anonymous wrote:I think people are responding to the graded treats. Straight A's, pizza and soda and early entry. Next level down, soda but no pizza or early entry. Next level, no food. Lowest level, not welcome at all. Who comes up with this stuff? Educators? It's idiotic and embarrassing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's school administrators who need a social skills lesson to not lavish excess and privilege on kids who are already privileged and exclude kids who most likely aren't, with a sprinkling of exceptions perhaps.

OK, I think I must have misunderstood what you are saying here, or I'm not understanding how you arrived at your conclusion. It seems to me that the following three statements are true:
1. Grades are not “given” or “assigned” by the teacher but rather are earned as a result of effort (studying, homework, organization and participation grades) and subsequent performance (tests, projects, other assessments) on the part of each student.
2. This party rewards students who have earned high enough grades.
3. Earlier in the thread previous posters have mentioned other rewards and incentives for those whose grades are below the level specified in premise two but whose grades are improving.

If we accept the above premises, we agree that: receiving an invitation to the party is contingent upon meeting or exceeding a specific level of achievement based on benchmarks (grades) which are under the control of the student.

This is the source of my puzzlement with your statement. I believe that each student earns their grades and that each student has a chance to succeed. Unless you are arguing that grades at Eastern are awarded unfairly on the basis of something other than student performance, in which case I think we have a far bigger problem than a single party, I don’t see how you can argue that the population of kids who will achieve this reward is “privileged”.
- they have received no special “privileges” in order to allow them to be eligible for an invitation, the grading scale is applied the same way for all students in the school population, any of whom would be permitted to receive a grade high enough to attend the party, if their effort and performance enabled them to earn it.
- If you are referring to their socioeconomic background, you are effectively alleging that only high SES students are capable of success. I do not believe this; I think such an attitude is elitist and wrong. History shows examples of kids from all backgrounds who have achieved success, both in school and in life, and kids from all backgrounds who have not. With the possible exception of students severely affected by a learning disability, which would be accommodated so as to best support the student’s learning goals, I believe that ALL students – rich, poor, tall, short, of whatever skin color or ethnic background – are individuals capable of making choices to study, to try hard in school, and to achieve their goals.

I get the sense that many posters are uncomfortable because access to this opportunity (the party) is based on demonstrated achievement rather than effort expended. But, frankly, so is life. The real world doesn’t give effort grades, individuals enjoy the “fruits” (results) of their labor. You gain opportunities (participation in high school sports/plays/extra curriculars, jobs, college admissions, jobs, promotions, etc) on the basis of the results of your effort towards your goals. Effort is a great thing which should be encouraged, and Eastern appears to be doing that in other ways. But I see nothing wrong with students learning that results matter too, in a low risk environment at a time in life when students are still forming their characters and choosing their paths. In life, ethically you cannot receive something for which you do not meet the eligibility requirements, and I think schools or parents that lead students to believe otherwise are doing the children a major disservice.

It is up to each individual to set his or her goals and determine how much and what sort of effort is needed to reach said goal. There will always be people for whom reaching the same goal requires more effort than the person next to them, but I don’t think that devalues the second person’s achievement or makes the achievement itself unworthy of recognition.

Anonymous wrote:I think it's school administrators who need a social skills lesson to not lavish excess and privilege on kids who are already privileged and exclude kids who most likely aren't, with a sprinkling of exceptions perhaps.

Anonymous wrote:I think it's school administrators who need a social skills lesson to not lavish excess and privilege on kids who are already privileged and exclude kids who most likely aren't, with a sprinkling of exceptions perhaps.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD's MS had this same type of party a few years ago when she was on the honor roll. She wasn't even interested in attending. Possibly this is yet another issue that is more important to the helicopter parents than to the kids.

Or perhaps more important to tone-deaf administrators than the students they are trying to reward? Our DD didn't want to participate in these reward systems and complained to us that she was being hounded by teachers to do so. Her attitude was basically, "Why won't they leave me alone? I don't want to go to that stupid, lame party."

While I completely understand and empathize with your daughter's feelings since I felt largely the same growing up, might I suggest an alternative approach or way of looking at the situation? This might be a good opportunity to teach kids (in general, not just your DD) how to graciously accept invitations to events they may not want to attend and get through said event with poise anyway, or to graciously accept not reviving an invitation to a long-awaited event, as the case may be. I know that this is an essential adult skill with which I can see my kids potentially struggling (don't all kids that age - it's not exactly instinctive, after all ) so that's the approach I intend to take towards such situations. This might or might not work for your family, just a thought off the top of my head.

Actually, my DD repeatedly graciously declined the invitation these events at school. It was the school staff who (ungraciously) repeatedly insisted that she attend. She never said to anyone but me, "it's a stupid, lame party." She tried to get away with a polite, "no thanks, I think I'll hang out here in class...."

FWIW, we raise our kids to consider not participating in events that they think are unfair or discriminatory, not just to blindly accept these invitations "graciously" because they must "get through said event with poise anyway."

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD's MS had this same type of party a few years ago when she was on the honor roll. She wasn't even interested in attending. Possibly this is yet another issue that is more important to the helicopter parents than to the kids.

Or perhaps more important to tone-deaf administrators than the students they are trying to reward? Our DD didn't want to participate in these reward systems and complained to us that she was being hounded by teachers to do so. Her attitude was basically, "Why won't they leave me alone? I don't want to go to that stupid, lame party."

While I completely understand and empathize with your daughter's feelings since I felt largely the same growing up, might I suggest an alternative approach or way of looking at the situation? This might be a good opportunity to teach kids (in general, not just your DD) how to graciously accept invitations to events they may not want to attend and get through said event with poise anyway, or to graciously accept not reviving an invitation to a long-awaited event, as the case may be. I know that this is an essential adult skill with which I can see my kids potentially struggling (don't all kids that age - it's not exactly instinctive, after all ) so that's the approach I intend to take towards such situations. This might or might not work for your family, just a thought off the top of my head.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD's MS had this same type of party a few years ago when she was on the honor roll. She wasn't even interested in attending. Possibly this is yet another issue that is more important to the helicopter parents than to the kids.

Or perhaps more important to tone-deaf administrators than the students they are trying to reward? Our DD didn't want to participate in these reward systems and complained to us that she was being hounded by teachers to do so. Her attitude was basically, "Why won't they leave me alone? I don't want to go to that stupid, lame party."

Anonymous wrote:DD's MS had this same type of party a few years ago when she was on the honor roll. She wasn't even interested in attending. Possibly this is yet another issue that is more important to the helicopter parents than to the kids.