Anonymous wrote:I had really amazing grandparents. They didn't babysit us. They didn't lavish us with presents. But they were always there. At everything. Sports games. Plays. School events. Birthday parties. Etc. We had sleepovers at their house. We had afterschool snacks with them. We sat with them every Sunday at church.

Proximity plays a huge roll. But my parents manage to see my kids at least once a month. We talk at least every other day, even if its just my Mom listening to the kids screaming at each other in the car. My mom knows their teachers names, their friends names, their activities, their likes and dislikes of the moment, etc. And they invite the older grandkids for Camp Mimi and Poppop every summer. One week with all kinds of fun activities.

IL's are a bit farther away, but they make no effort. If they manage to come, they often show up later than planned. (Sorry, we slept in, decided to take a long lunch, and then made 3 wrong turns so we are 8 hours late). They never seem to try to visit us. It is always on us to ask to come see them or invite them over. They don't know the kids- never talk on the phone to them- never send little cards. They are busy and have a lot going on, but its just obvious they are fine with a casual relationships. They buy token gifts at birthdays and holidays- but its not about the presents.

Its just different. Both grandparents love my kids, undoubtedly. And both probably would say they wish they saw us more. One set is just going out of their way to really establish a solid relationship despite the distance. And, knowing that it is possible, I am often sad and wonder why the other ones would not try to do the same.