Anonymous
Post 01/06/2014 13:13     Subject: Re:Does it bother any of you when your children go into your master bathroom
Anonymous wrote:There's a great book published in the US about how the "McMansionisation" - even small scale - of the American family has led to a sense of dislocation, disassociation and disappointment on the part of kids. Kids with access to computers and TVs which compensate for a lack engagement with their families who are busy providing but not listening. Mom's successful, Dad works all hours. For what? Own room. Own bathroom. Own issues. Good college, cosmetically-sound resume and everyone's happy. Or are they?

When I was growing up we had to litigate access to the bathroom and argue about what to watch on TV. Both my parents worked - including my dad who was a prominent surgeon on call a lot - but there was never a time when we didn't have family dinner when we were all at home and my parents lived in a modest house where we just jumbled around each other.

OP's post strikes me as articulating affront because a child uses "her" space. Crossing the line. Encroaching on her facility. I find this incredibly sad. She doesn't ask why the child wants to be in her space or whether it's normal for her to want her kids to stay the hell out of her territory because she assumes they have no right to use her stuff - like someone at the office who is trying to outrank her. It's desperately dismal and such a horrid indictment on some American families. Where did the love, humor, fun and engagement go?

Here's my advice to OP - keep a packet of cards in your pocket. And next time your D(?)C annoys you, play a game. On the stairs or at the kitchen table. There's loads which don't involve screens. And while you're playing and spending some time, ask about friends, tensions, why your bathroom is coveted. It's mazing what you find out when you engage.

This is one of the most depressing posts I've ever read on DCUM



Love this. Thanks for taking the time to write an intelligent response - rare to see on here.
Anonymous
Post 01/06/2014 13:12     Subject: Does it bother any of you when your children go into your master bathroom
Teach her to knock on any closed door.
Anonymous
Post 01/06/2014 13:09     Subject: Does it bother any of you when your children go into your master bathroom
I don't have a master bathroom; so it's a bit of a foreign concept to me. I grew up in a house with a whole bunch of sisters, though. My dad had his own bathroom. Seriously, it was his; even my mother didn't use it for the most part. I think it was his attempt at having private space; there surely wasn't much manspace in the house. We would still use it if the other two bathrooms were occupied and his was empty - not unheard of in a house with 5 women. Nowadays, of course, I kinda assume there was porn in there . . . .

So, I'm inclined to think your husbands request is kind of odd (even when he's not in your room?!) but not crazy. sometimes we just want one space that's kid-free. i'd call it idiosyncratic and possibly unreasonable, depending on the amount of space y'all have. but not crazy.
Anonymous
Post 01/06/2014 12:41     Subject: Does it bother any of you when your children go into your master bathroom
Parent's only space when you have multiple kids...LOL.

Seriously though, I don't care if they use my bathroom. I just get annoyed when my oldest leaves toothpaste in the sink or water all over the floor when he gets out of the shower.

I thinks it's weird to have rooms in the house completely off limits to your kids. A room that is yours? Of course. A room that your kid is banned from. No.
Anonymous
Post 01/06/2014 12:02     Subject: Re:Does it bother any of you when your children go into your master bathroom
Anonymous wrote:growing up, our whole house was for everyone. If someone was in a room, I would knock, but if no one was in there, I could go in there. I can't imagine a house not like this. I think it would felt really cold if there were certain places in the house I wasn't allowed to go.

This is the way we are raising our children. It is our home. Sure we all sleep in different places, and our things are contained in our own space, but my shampoo is my daughter's shampoo, and if she wants to use it, she can use it! And she can get it for herself.


Not in my house--I hide my ridiculously overpriced salon shampoo/conditioner from my stepsons, who are just as happy to use Suave but will use the pricey stuff if it's left out. And of course they don't use just a little.
Anonymous
Post 01/06/2014 11:47     Subject: Re:Does it bother any of you when your children go into your master bathroom
Anonymous wrote:growing up, our whole house was for everyone. If someone was in a room, I would knock, but if no one was in there, I could go in there. I can't imagine a house not like this. I think it would felt really cold if there were certain places in the house I wasn't allowed to go.

This is the way we are raising our children. It is our home. Sure we all sleep in different places, and our things are contained in our own space, but my shampoo is my daughter's shampoo, and if she wants to use it, she can use it! And she can get it for herself.


Hello sanity, welcome! Why is this the longest thread on the dumbest thing ever?

Anonymous
Post 01/06/2014 11:43     Subject: Re:Does it bother any of you when your children go into your master bathroom
growing up, our whole house was for everyone. If someone was in a room, I would knock, but if no one was in there, I could go in there. I can't imagine a house not like this. I think it would felt really cold if there were certain places in the house I wasn't allowed to go.

This is the way we are raising our children. It is our home. Sure we all sleep in different places, and our things are contained in our own space, but my shampoo is my daughter's shampoo, and if she wants to use it, she can use it! And she can get it for herself.
Anonymous
Post 01/06/2014 11:19     Subject: Does it bother any of you when your children go into your master bathroom
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It bugs me when our middle school son uses our bathroom because he leaves the seat up. For this reason, I have told him he can't use ours. He and his sister have their own bathroom.

--lesbian mom


That's kind of funny. Poor sister though, dealing with the seat up.


Blah, blah, blah I am the only chick with 4 dudes in the house. This just doesn't bother me any more. I automatically flip it down and truthfully I'd prefer its up so they aren't peeing all over where I have to sit.


I'm not a lesbian, I'm a single mom and my son is also the only male in the house. I have trained him to not leave the seat up, its selfish and lazy. I don't understand why this behavior would be tolerated



baghaaggagagaghahahahahahahahdahahahdahdahdahdahahadghadhdahd

poor kid
Anonymous
Post 01/06/2014 11:15     Subject: Does it bother any of you when your children go into your master bathroom
We only have one bathroom.
Anonymous
Post 01/06/2014 11:15     Subject: Re:Does it bother any of you when your children go into your master bathroom
Anonymous wrote:There's a great book published in the US about how the "McMansionisation" - even small scale - of the American family has led to a sense of dislocation, disassociation and disappointment on the part of kids. Kids with access to computers and TVs which compensate for a lack engagement with their families who are busy providing but not listening. Mom's successful, Dad works all hours. For what? Own room. Own bathroom. Own issues. Good college, cosmetically-sound resume and everyone's happy. Or are they?

When I was growing up we had to litigate access to the bathroom and argue about what to watch on TV. Both my parents worked - including my dad who was a prominent surgeon on call a lot - but there was never a time when we didn't have family dinner when we were all at home and my parents lived in a modest house where we just jumbled around each other.

OP's post strikes me as articulating affront because a child uses "her" space. Crossing the line. Encroaching on her facility. I find this incredibly sad. She doesn't ask why the child wants to be in her space or whether it's normal for her to want her kids to stay the hell out of her territory because she assumes they have no right to use her stuff - like someone at the office who is trying to outrank her. It's desperately dismal and such a horrid indictment on some American families. Where did the love, humor, fun and engagement go?

Here's my advice to OP - keep a packet of cards in your pocket. And next time your D(?)C annoys you, play a game. On the stairs or at the kitchen table. There's loads which don't involve screens. And while you're playing and spending some time, ask about friends, tensions, why your bathroom is coveted. It's mazing what you find out when you engage.

This is one of the most depressing posts I've ever read on DCUM



While I find your points interesting, sometimes I think we over analyze EVERYTHING if left to our own affluent devices (creating a vicious cycle). I think its possible that sometimes a 'cigar is just a cigar' and there isn't necessarily a giant social ill happening here.
Anonymous
Post 01/06/2014 11:08     Subject: Re:Does it bother any of you when your children go into your master bathroom
My son simply preferred our shower to his. Now that he is away at college, I am so happy when he is home and still uses our master bathroom. Enjoy your kids while they are living at home and don't stress out over the little things.
Anonymous
Post 01/06/2014 10:50     Subject: Re:Does it bother any of you when your children go into your master bathroom
There's a great book published in the US about how the "McMansionisation" - even small scale - of the American family has led to a sense of dislocation, disassociation and disappointment on the part of kids. Kids with access to computers and TVs which compensate for a lack engagement with their families who are busy providing but not listening. Mom's successful, Dad works all hours. For what? Own room. Own bathroom. Own issues. Good college, cosmetically-sound resume and everyone's happy. Or are they?

When I was growing up we had to litigate access to the bathroom and argue about what to watch on TV. Both my parents worked - including my dad who was a prominent surgeon on call a lot - but there was never a time when we didn't have family dinner when we were all at home and my parents lived in a modest house where we just jumbled around each other.

OP's post strikes me as articulating affront because a child uses "her" space. Crossing the line. Encroaching on her facility. I find this incredibly sad. She doesn't ask why the child wants to be in her space or whether it's normal for her to want her kids to stay the hell out of her territory because she assumes they have no right to use her stuff - like someone at the office who is trying to outrank her. It's desperately dismal and such a horrid indictment on some American families. Where did the love, humor, fun and engagement go?

Here's my advice to OP - keep a packet of cards in your pocket. And next time your D(?)C annoys you, play a game. On the stairs or at the kitchen table. There's loads which don't involve screens. And while you're playing and spending some time, ask about friends, tensions, why your bathroom is coveted. It's mazing what you find out when you engage.

This is one of the most depressing posts I've ever read on DCUM

Anonymous
Post 01/06/2014 10:27     Subject: Does it bother any of you when your children go into your master bathroom
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It bugs me when our middle school son uses our bathroom because he leaves the seat up. For this reason, I have told him he can't use ours. He and his sister have their own bathroom.

--lesbian mom


That's kind of funny. Poor sister though, dealing with the seat up.


Blah, blah, blah I am the only chick with 4 dudes in the house. This just doesn't bother me any more. I automatically flip it down and truthfully I'd prefer its up so they aren't peeing all over where I have to sit.


I'm not a lesbian, I'm a single mom and my son is also the only male in the house. I have trained him to not leave the seat up, its selfish and lazy. I don't understand why this behavior would be tolerated


Agreed. My DH has never, ever left the seat up in our 10 years of marriage. He was raised by a single mom with two brothers. She clearly trained them well.


Explain please? Why is it rude for him to leave it up but not rude for you to leave it down?

Please shut up and go away.


Always an excellent retort.

The main reason I'd say its preferable to leave the seat down is that if you go to sit down and the seat is up, you fall in. That used to happen to me all the time in the middle of the night (when its dark and i am groggy). Also, probably the lid should be down, too, so you don't drop hairbrushes and things in or spray germs when you flush.
Anonymous
Post 01/06/2014 10:23     Subject: Does it bother any of you when your children go into your master bathroom
You don't have to be hiding something to want privacy. Remember wanting your own space that your parents and siblings didn't come waltzing in to when you were a kid or teen? Nothing wrong with still wanting your own space as an adult.
Anonymous
Post 01/06/2014 01:21     Subject: Does it bother any of you when your children go into your master bathroom
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Ha ha ha, this is hilarious. My kids LOVE our master bathroom. No idea why. They bathe in the hall bathroom, but heaven forbid they actually use it for any other purpose. Even if they wake up in the middle of the night to pee, they walk right past the hall bathroom (door open, light on) and into our dark bedroom, to open our master bathroom and turn on the light and use the toilet in there.


That would annoy the sh1t out of me.

OP, I'm a woman, and have no porn or embarrassing things to hide in the master bathroom, but I like that as my own adult space (and DH's), too. If all bathrooms in the house are full and it's an emergency, of course it would be OK for DC to use it, but otherwise, just because? No!


don't know what being a woman has to do with it. I'm a woman and have plenty of porn, sex toys and costumes I don't want my kids getting into. I keep it in places they don't go. They're welcome to use my bathroom.