OP is a troll, looking for fun at the expense of an entire community. But too many have taken the bite, so here's yet another perspective.

I have lived in San Francisco during my early marriage years, while we were trying -- and failing -- to conceive. We had neighbors of many walks of life, including quite a few gay and lesbian couples. Our children grew up with family friends that included other adopted kids, as well as kids from mixed racial families, as well as inter-racial couples, well-to-do high-tech folks "gentrifying" the neighborhood, and artists scraping by a life they believed in. I honestly would not be able to point to one group over another, awarding them the "best parent award" -- but we did have a parents mailing list, where I was glad to take and share advice with many in my very diverse community.

Parenting involves providing all resources a kid needs on their own journey to adulthood. For us, as adoptive parents, it includes discussions about adoption, about where in the world each child's birth family came from, about "why"s and "what if"s. Parenting a child with ADHD means focusing on process, routines and building self-confidence and resilience. Parenting a US child as an immigrant to the US means joining the community at large while still instilling some of the culture I grew up in. And parenting a child of different races means that for us, MLK day can stir some profound conversations on the meaning of race in our own family.

So why is the missing male / female presence a an obstacle that is difficult for some to imagine overcoming? It's just another conversation around the dinner table. Yes, exposure to strong role models of both sexes is important, but don't think for a second that these families live in a vacuum. There are uncles and cousins and friends and neighbors -- up to the parents to provide whatever resources parenting requires. These children are by no means isolated, nor are they lacking role models. Unless, they lack *good* parents, which could happen in the gay and lesbian community just as it happens in any community.

As a couple who struggled with infertility, we feel particularly upset by the insinuation that gay and lesbian couples don't deserve to procreate (some even say adopt!) just because they cannot do that through the God-given, natural way,giving birth to a child genetically linked to both parents. Would you say that to a cancer survivor who uses IF services to conceive? Are you saying that adoption should only be allowed for couples that have already been blessed with children, thus demonstrating their God-endorsed right to parent? That crazy talk.

I fail to see the issue with gay and lesbian parenting -- other than communities made up of folks that look for trouble where there's none. But there's *always* someone disagreeing with your choices -- be it for home-schooling, un-schooling, sending kid to public school or private school -- someone will disagree with your choice. How about those debates on working vs SAH mom, or the big debate on sleep training a babe? It's all just hubris. (But I would like to see more male teachers in schools -- talking of role models for our kids).

Just let them be -- unless you posted the initial "questions" just because you were payed to "make things interesting" on this forum. And if you were, just go away.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Actually, op is right. Recent studies show that children of same sex couples are less likely to graduate high school, and are more prone to addiction. I admit it's difficult to find objective info, and easier to engage in the ironically lazy name-calling of the PP

Citation, please.

Even if you can find a citation, the studies would be outdated. I am sure 20 years ago, their was less acceptance of different types of families. Now, it seems like we run into lots of same sex couples with children. And a lot of kids have step parents (so it is not like having two moms isn't common).

Anonymous wrote:
+1 responder. Well said. There are multiple advantages in having children raised by a male-female married couple. That is superior to all other arrangements. That is not to say that every male-female married couple is superior, and that there are not situations in which other parenting models are not better for a particular child (e.g. when a single woman, or married homosexual couple adopts and gives a good home to children who would not otherwise have a home) -- but that does not mean that in general, the male-female marrie model is not the best.

And yet no reputable study has produced results that show this. I wonder why?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you are so so right.

I am a lesbian parent who parents with my vagina, and I have inferior children because my wife and I are unable to fully parent due to our lesbianism. We are a loving couple and loving parents, but I know we'd be better parents if there was a penis in the house, but that is just not in the cards, so we make our girls suffer. I have made sure that no man comes to the house lest my girls cling to him, and I don't want them to ever have contact with boys or men so they will never know what men or boys are. (we homeschool, keep our shades shut, and never turn on a tv or computer). Since they have never seen a boy or man, they have no idea how they act. I am waiting for researchers to come to our house to tell us how we are damaging our children so we can repent and change our loving ways. If I do let our girls see the computer, I'll show them your post so they can know how damaged they are.


I also hope you tried your best to prevent those awful interracial parents from reproducing too--I heard that the offspring just clinged to white couples when they came over. So sad.

See this is the problem ..you have lesbians who think like this--it's a vagina vs a penis thing. That's not is..it is having a male role model and all that comes with it..and it's important and when two women sort of convince themselves that it is not important they lose credibility. Same thing for two men. What is more credible is when a gay couple admits it is hugely important and has a plan on how to address. Some couples have an uncle who provides that male energy or a longtime friend but you can't just say..ugg no biggie on having a guy as an important part of life. I also should add when the the comparison is for a gay couple vs a an awful hetero couple it also assumes that all hetero couples are awful..well there are probably same amount of awful gay couples. The best for a child is two loving parents and yes a man and a woman is the best and if not that and we are coming to a time when man and woman is not necessarily going to happen..then a woman and a woman or a man and a man with a close relationship with the missing woman or man component.

+1 responder. Well said. There are multiple advantages in having children raised by a male-female married couple. That is superior to all other arrangements. That is not to say that every male-female married couple is superior, and that there are not situations in which other parenting models are not better for a particular child (e.g. when a single woman, or married homosexual couple adopts and gives a good home to children who would not otherwise have a home) -- but that does not mean that in general, the male-female marrie model is not the best.

Actually a study by Gartrell and Bos (Pediatrics, 2010) found that children of lesbian couples have the best outcomes. The OP keeps giving her opinion, bu that's worth very little since it had no support in the scientific literature.

Anonymous wrote:Wondering whether there are any studies out there that look at the psychological health of children raised by same-sex couples?

I find myself having a hard time believing that such children end up leading normal happy adult lives.

I realize this is closed-minded of me, but it seems unfair to the children.

What do people think, other than nasty thoughts about me?

While I am sure that there are many other people with your opinion I am still shocked that there are people out there who feel this way. I am bisexual and honestly could have been with a woman for the rest of my life with no problem. I have gay and lesbian friends that would make a lot better parents than most. I might be in the minority here but I really don't see anything wrong with this. People are people and it matters who the person is inside not who they choose to have sex with...

Having a loving supportive family is what is important.

Whether that family is a straight couple, same sex couple, or a single parent does not automatically determine whether or not that family is loving and supportive.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you are so so right.

I am a lesbian parent who parents with my vagina, and I have inferior children because my wife and I are unable to fully parent due to our lesbianism. We are a loving couple and loving parents, but I know we'd be better parents if there was a penis in the house, but that is just not in the cards, so we make our girls suffer. I have made sure that no man comes to the house lest my girls cling to him, and I don't want them to ever have contact with boys or men so they will never know what men or boys are. (we homeschool, keep our shades shut, and never turn on a tv or computer). Since they have never seen a boy or man, they have no idea how they act. I am waiting for researchers to come to our house to tell us how we are damaging our children so we can repent and change our loving ways. If I do let our girls see the computer, I'll show them your post so they can know how damaged they are.


I also hope you tried your best to prevent those awful interracial parents from reproducing too--I heard that the offspring just clinged to white couples when they came over. So sad.

See this is the problem ..you have lesbians who think like this--it's a vagina vs a penis thing. That's not is..it is having a male role model and all that comes with it..and it's important and when two women sort of convince themselves that it is not important they lose credibility. Same thing for two men. What is more credible is when a gay couple admits it is hugely important and has a plan on how to address. Some couples have an uncle who provides that male energy or a longtime friend but you can't just say..ugg no biggie on having a guy as an important part of life. I also should add when the the comparison is for a gay couple vs a an awful hetero couple it also assumes that all hetero couples are awful..well there are probably same amount of awful gay couples. The best for a child is two loving parents and yes a man and a woman is the best and if not that and we are coming to a time when man and woman is not necessarily going to happen..then a woman and a woman or a man and a man with a close relationship with the missing woman or man component.

+1 responder. Well said. There are multiple advantages in having children raised by a male-female married couple. That is superior to all other arrangements. That is not to say that every male-female married couple is superior, and that there are not situations in which other parenting models are not better for a particular child (e.g. when a single woman, or married homosexual couple adopts and gives a good home to children who would not otherwise have a home) -- but that does not mean that in general, the male-female marrie model is not the best.