Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Read article in Health section of WAPO today on young adults who were raised by helicopter parents..........they just don't want to grow up and suffer from depression.

Why are some parents like this? I was not raised this way and I am not a helicopter parent. I see many who are though. It is weird.

Perhaps because of being aware of tragedies that have happened in the past (like OP remembering the rappelling tragedy), having lost many family members or friends and not believing that tragedies happen only to "someone else," or just a sense that the risks outweigh any benefit that could possibly be obtained.

Anonymous wrote:Read article in Health section of WAPO today on young adults who were raised by helicopter parents..........they just don't want to grow up and suffer from depression.

Why are some parents like this? I was not raised this way and I am not a helicopter parent. I see many who are though. It is weird.

Read article in Health section of WAPO today on young adults who were raised by helicopter parents..........they just don't want to grow up and suffer from depression.

I would let the kid decide but make clear there would be no screen time if she decided to stay home

The trip itself is not the serious concern, but if the company has a bad record on hours of service compliance, they may have sleepy drivers. The may have a history of poor tire or brake maintenance. Well-meaning schools may choose the lowest bidder and assume it's safe. Overall, bus travel is very safe, but there are some companies that fly below the radar and don't operate safely. Why not check their scores for peace of mind or ask your school to check it when they are hiring a company to charter a trip?

I totally understand the angst. At some point, though, you just have to trust and let go.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is a good web/mobile device tool called SaferBus by the Federal Motor Carrier Safety Administration that can help consumers evaluate the safety of bus companies before taking a trip. Bus safety (poorly maintained vehicles, tired driver, etc) would be my main concern in the field trip scenario described.

Serious question -- what is of concern in the bus situation in a field trip to the Poconos?

The trip itself is not the serious concern, but if the company has a bad record on hours of service compliance, they may have sleepy drivers. The may have a history of poor tire or brake maintenance. Well-meaning schools may choose the lowest bidder and assume it's safe. Overall, bus travel is very safe, but there are some companies that fly below the radar and don't operate safely. Why not check their scores for peace of mind or ask your school to check it when they are hiring a company to charter a trip?

OMG. I'm overprotective with my kids, as was my mom with me, as was my grandmother with my mom and even I was allowed to go on every school field trip. if you are that worried, you or DH chaperone. The whole 7 hours in a car is crazy, people do that road trip all the time with kids traveling up and down the East Coast. If you are worried about the bus company driving record etc, then research that but realize car accidents can happen any time. I can do everything in my power to protect my kids but they go to school, they will drive, they will go to parties, they will date guys, they will have jobs ...at any point something can go wrong I.e. bad guy, car accident, something goes wrong at the party, wrong place wrong time at work or school, a tornado rips thru, a terrorist attack ...I could go on. All I can do is take reasonable precautions that still allow them to live their life and try to help them develop judgement to avoid a bad situation if they can, and courage and strength to face things they can't avoid.

I'm not sure what happened on the rappelling trip you spoke about but either the person leading it didn't have the safety things in place or someone didn't follow the safety rules. You can research the bus company and be a chaperone on the trip to make sure the people in charge are providing a safe environment. You have to give your child opportunities to be aware of his/her surroundings and develop judgement. If you tell me your child often wonders off or doesn't listen that's one thing but if you are there as a chaperone that will hopefully at a minimum your child would listen to you.

Good luck.

Anonymous wrote:Would the kid get to stay home if she didn't go on the trip? It seems weird to reward a child who is too scared for a field trip by staying home. At least they should stay at school, maybe sit in with another class or grade, and do alternative work about the eagles. If they get to stay home, sleep in, snuggle in the couch with mommy,it seems like the wrong lesson. I would so be encouraging my daughter to be brave, give it a chance. And if she was too scared, the alternative shouldn't be a reward anyway.

OP seemed to be using the excuse that her child had mixed feelings about it. I'd take the opportunity to encourage her to be brave and have an open mind. Kids often will not want to do something/be scared to try it - then they are just fine and have a great time if they are open to it. Rather than shut it down like the parent wants to, I'd definitely be encouraging her to be brave and open.

Also, one of the PPs said this

" My kids find it a lot more fun to sleep in on a school day, get up when they're ready, then do something fun, either at home, or out somewhere. Or even just reading a good book in bed all day, if they want to." - which implied she'd keep her kids home instead of sending them...

Anonymous wrote:There is a good web/mobile device tool called SaferBus by the Federal Motor Carrier Safety Administration that can help consumers evaluate the safety of bus companies before taking a trip. Bus safety (poorly maintained vehicles, tired driver, etc) would be my main concern in the field trip scenario described.

Serious question -- what is of concern in the bus situation in a field trip to the Poconos?

There is a good web/mobile device tool called SaferBus by the Federal Motor Carrier Safety Administration that can help consumers evaluate the safety of bus companies before taking a trip. Bus safety (poorly maintained vehicles, tired driver, etc) would be my main concern in the field trip scenario described.

Anonymous wrote:Would the kid get to stay home if she didn't go on the trip? It seems weird to reward a child who is too scared for a field trip by staying home. At least they should stay at school, maybe sit in with another class or grade, and do alternative work about the eagles. If they get to stay home, sleep in, snuggle in the couch with mommy,it seems like the wrong lesson. I would so be encouraging my daughter to be brave, give it a chance. And if she was too scared, the alternative shouldn't be a reward anyway.

Why does a child need a "lesson" to be kept home from a field trip her parents didn't think was a good one for her to go on?

Anyhow, of course the school will provide alternative instruction for kids who do not have permission to go on he trip (unless it is a private school -- don't know in that case).

Would the kid get to stay home if she didn't go on the trip? It seems weird to reward a child who is too scared for a field trip by staying home. At least they should stay at school, maybe sit in with another class or grade, and do alternative work about the eagles. If they get to stay home, sleep in, snuggle in the couch with mommy,it seems like the wrong lesson. I would so be encouraging my daughter to be brave, give it a chance. And if she was too scared, the alternative shouldn't be a reward anyway.

Anonymous wrote:I went on every field trip for school and girl scouts. No thought was put into by my parents except that they would be rid of me for the day.

Looking back, lots of the trips were fun, but many were not. I would have probably gone on most but I think if someone had explained the actual logistics and what we were going to do on the trip, I would have skipped some of them no matter what friends were going.

I think it's fine for parents and kids to evaluate a field trip and decide not to go. The truth is - with very rare exception - no field trip is going to be a once in a lifetime opportunity and it's silly for adults and kids to have that premise.

I recall vividly one girl scout field trip were I got my first migraine. I was in serious pain and wanted to go home but we were on our way to West Virginia and there was no option. Looking back, I realize that the two troop leaders were somewhat stuck - they couldn't leave the group so had I actually need medical attention they would have had to take the whole troop of girls. Yes, it was poor planning on their part but who knows? maybe that morning another adult canceled? But this incident gives me pause when talking about field trips, etc. There needs to be enough adults - and not just any adults - but to be frank, educated adults who can take charge of situations. I can't say that I will allow my now 3rd grader to go on every field trip or outing. It's not about being a helicopter parent. It's about just being a parent in general.

+1000 You don't have to be a helicopter parent or a PITA parent to feel this way. Not every field trip is the nirvana of good times one of the PPs makes it out to be. It's ok to be selective about what trips we send our kids on.

Anonymous wrote:I went on every field trip for school and girl scouts. No thought was put into by my parents except that they would be rid of me for the day.

Looking back, lots of the trips were fun, but many were not. I would have probably gone on most but I think if someone had explained the actual logistics and what we were going to do on the trip, I would have skipped some of them no matter what friends were going.

I think it's fine for parents and kids to evaluate a field trip and decide not to go. The truth is - with very rare exception - no field trip is going to be a once in a lifetime opportunity and it's silly for adults and kids to have that premise.

I recall vividly one girl scout field trip were I got my first migraine. I was in serious pain and wanted to go home but we were on our way to West Virginia and there was no option. Looking back, I realize that the two troop leaders were somewhat stuck - they couldn't leave the group so had I actually need medical attention they would have had to take the whole troop of girls. Yes, it was poor planning on their part but who knows? maybe that morning another adult canceled? But this incident gives me pause when talking about field trips, etc. There needs to be enough adults - and not just any adults - but to be frank, educated adults who can take charge of situations. I can't say that I will allow my now 3rd grader to go on every field trip or outing. It's not about being a helicopter parent. It's about just being a parent in general.

Anonymous wrote:
The poco is? They have a very famous educational program for eagle watching. Maybe that's thr reason.


Yes, they are going for the eagle program.

I guess my main concern is riding in a big ole bus on mountain roads. They are very windy and I remember dodging rock falls when I was young. Also wondering if the bus has seat belts.

Also I just talked to her (she is slightly slow; just learned to ride her bike last week) and she has mixed feelings. I didn't even tell her I was hesitating. She said since her capital trip was such a bust she was not looking forward to this trip. But she also wants
To be with her friends. We are all conflicted but after this week's Oprah about listening to your inner voice I am especially conflicted.

I will wait for the principal o call back and maybe talk to some other moms whose kids have gone in the past. Maybe I am overprotective but now I remember why.

Many years ago my son went on an overnight Boy Scout repelling trip. One of the boys fell to his death - his father was right there and saw it happen. We got the call about the accident and that they were coming home early, three dad before they had planned to return. I can't tell you how devastating it was to know my son was ok but how horrific it was for the other family. That kind of stuff stays with you forever.

I can't believe OP's post is real. Windy, mountain roads? Dodging falling rocks? The Poconos is, at maximum, 2,700ft. Barely a summit rock face.

Oh, and you just heard about Oprah's old, tired advice this week? Considering she has been off the air for several years, this is unbelievable.

Finally, if your son was on a trip where a child died, you would have lead with that in your OP, because, obviously, if you experienced such a trauma, that would be a reason to keep your child at home. Yet, that was not on your radar screen until PPs called you out as a helicopter parent. Personally, I think you are a troll. Not a very interesting one, since you include the insulting reference to your child as slow.