Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm in my late 30's and a virgin. I have never had a boyfriend. My assumption is that the majority of men, and any man I would be interested in, would be weirded out by my virginity. Thus, if it ever comes up, my plan is to lie about both my sexual history and having had past relationships.

Don't you think your first sexual partner will realize you are a virgin? Would it be better to tell him so that he adapts the lovemaking accordingly?

I've gone horse-back riding and used tampons for over a decade, so pretty sure I'm not going to bleed the first time or anything.

Hmn... sorry for TMI, but it's not just about bleeding, it's about actual penetration. The penetrating person would definitely know the difference.

I was an avid horseback rider and wore tampons and I still bled. Just saying...

Thanks for the info; duly noted. To be honest, I'm not particularly worried about it since nobody is remotely interested in me anyway.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm in my late 30's and a virgin. I have never had a boyfriend. My assumption is that the majority of men, and any man I would be interested in, would be weirded out by my virginity. Thus, if it ever comes up, my plan is to lie about both my sexual history and having had past relationships.

Don't you think your first sexual partner will realize you are a virgin? Would it be better to tell him so that he adapts the lovemaking accordingly?

I've gone horse-back riding and used tampons for over a decade, so pretty sure I'm not going to bleed the first time or anything.

What? Your lack of skill will give you away, is what the person meant. Unless you're a technical, "everything but" virgin who's an experienced deep throat.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm in my late 30's and a virgin. I have never had a boyfriend. My assumption is that the majority of men, and any man I would be interested in, would be weirded out by my virginity. Thus, if it ever comes up, my plan is to lie about both my sexual history and having had past relationships.

Why have you never had a boyfriend? This wouldn't be so unusual at 22. What happened at that age?

Nothing specific happened at 22. I was working and going to school. I worked in a female-heavy department of a law firm as admin.

Didn't go to bars or belong to any church or other non work activities?

to me, it's not so much about someone's sexual past (or lack thereof) but about emotional maturity. women are quick to point the finger at how men a distant, emotionally stunted or immature - and for good reason in many cases.

but there are many women out there who themselves are immature, flaky, are walking contradictions ("I want a nice guy" but seem to date assholes).

sexual openness can always be taught if the inexperienced one is willing to learn and experiment. But that only happens is the relationship is built on something real and there is genuine trust and respect between the two partners.

I'd take a virgin who is confident and secure with herself and emotionally mature any day over the bedroom porn start with the emotional IQ of a 3 year old.

~divorced dad

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not sure I would ever ask. WTF.

You would sleep with someone without knowing their sexual history?

I would never ask. I would make sure condoms are used, but I would never ask. What is the point? No body is going to admit that they have slept indiscriminately anyways.

And to ask "Are you a virgin or have you had sex before?" - creepy, vulgar and mood killer!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm in my late 30's and a virgin. I have never had a boyfriend. My assumption is that the majority of men, and any man I would be interested in, would be weirded out by my virginity. Thus, if it ever comes up, my plan is to lie about both my sexual history and having had past relationships.

Don't you think your first sexual partner will realize you are a virgin? Would it be better to tell him so that he adapts the lovemaking accordingly?

I've gone horse-back riding and used tampons for over a decade, so pretty sure I'm not going to bleed the first time or anything.

Hmn... sorry for TMI, but it's not just about bleeding, it's about actual penetration. The penetrating person would definitely know the difference.

I was an avid horseback rider and wore tampons and I still bled. Just saying...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm in my late 30's and a virgin. I have never had a boyfriend. My assumption is that the majority of men, and any man I would be interested in, would be weirded out by my virginity. Thus, if it ever comes up, my plan is to lie about both my sexual history and having had past relationships.

Don't you think your first sexual partner will realize you are a virgin? Would it be better to tell him so that he adapts the lovemaking accordingly?

I've gone horse-back riding and used tampons for over a decade, so pretty sure I'm not going to bleed the first time or anything.

You may not bleed, but it can still be painful. Tampons do not necessarily break your hymen. And a penis is much larger than a tampon.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm in my late 30's and a virgin. I have never had a boyfriend. My assumption is that the majority of men, and any man I would be interested in, would be weirded out by my virginity. Thus, if it ever comes up, my plan is to lie about both my sexual history and having had past relationships.

Don't you think your first sexual partner will realize you are a virgin? Would it be better to tell him so that he adapts the lovemaking accordingly?

I've gone horse-back riding and used tampons for over a decade, so pretty sure I'm not going to bleed the first time or anything.

Hmn... sorry for TMI, but it's not just about bleeding, it's about actual penetration. The penetrating person would definitely know the difference.

Maybe I just do a LOT of kegels...?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm in my late 30's and a virgin. I have never had a boyfriend. My assumption is that the majority of men, and any man I would be interested in, would be weirded out by my virginity. Thus, if it ever comes up, my plan is to lie about both my sexual history and having had past relationships.

Don't you think your first sexual partner will realize you are a virgin? Would it be better to tell him so that he adapts the lovemaking accordingly?

I've gone horse-back riding and used tampons for over a decade, so pretty sure I'm not going to bleed the first time or anything.

Hmn... sorry for TMI, but it's not just about bleeding, it's about actual penetration. The penetrating person would definitely know the difference.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm in my late 30's and a virgin. I have never had a boyfriend. My assumption is that the majority of men, and any man I would be interested in, would be weirded out by my virginity. Thus, if it ever comes up, my plan is to lie about both my sexual history and having had past relationships.

Don't you think your first sexual partner will realize you are a virgin? Would it be better to tell him so that he adapts the lovemaking accordingly?

I've gone horse-back riding and used tampons for over a decade, so pretty sure I'm not going to bleed the first time or anything.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm in my late 30's and a virgin. I have never had a boyfriend. My assumption is that the majority of men, and any man I would be interested in, would be weirded out by my virginity. Thus, if it ever comes up, my plan is to lie about both my sexual history and having had past relationships.

Why have you never had a boyfriend? This wouldn't be so unusual at 22. What happened at that age?

Nothing specific happened at 22. I was working and going to school. I worked in a female-heavy department of a law firm as admin.

If someone has not been in a relationship by the time they are in their mid-late 30s, there is something wrong with him/her. Huge red flag.

Anonymous wrote:DH and I began to date when we were in college. Both were virgins. We got married after being with each other for 4 years. Since I did not want to have sex before I was married, we both were virgins on our wedding night - both in our 20s . We learned and experimented together, and figured out the mechanics very rapidly. Sex is super hot for us right now (I am a woman in my 40's - so u all know what that means). I know we are a minority but this has worked for us. I would have had major trust issues if it would have gone down some other way.

How is this relevant in any way to a virgin in his or her late 30s?

DH and I began to date when we were in college. Both were virgins. We got married after being with each other for 4 years. Since I did not want to have sex before I was married, we both were virgins on our wedding night - both in our 20s . We learned and experimented together, and figured out the mechanics very rapidly. Sex is super hot for us right now (I am a woman in my 40's - so u all know what that means). I know we are a minority but this has worked for us. I would have had major trust issues if it would have gone down some other way.

I'd have to really, really like the person. I'd have to know them well enough to understand why they never had sex. If it's hang ups/psychological problems, I'd steer away. If it's say, a real commitment to no sex before marriage and they just haven't gotten married yet..... well that's not MY thing but if it's their thing and you are into religion too, then I guess that could work.