Cold sores.

Man, people have some serious hangups about even the most modest displays of non-sexual affection, even coming from someone who is nurturing the growth of your child. Sure, it _can_ be weird if it's not like just a peck or whatever, and if the kid isn't comfortable because they come from a family/culture where a non-family caregiver giving a peck on the head/cheek is frowned upon then the teacher should ABSOLUTELY respect that. Others may feel the same way about hugs and not want that for kids. But good grief this is normal for a lot of people so don't project your POV on others, live and let live, and just let the teacher know if it makes you or your kid uncomfortable, and that should be the end of it. No big whoop. People make such mountains out of molehills these days.

I went to a private school where we had the same teacher for all eight years. And my teacher would kiss us at the end of each year on the cheek as we left for summer break. It was not consensual and not okay. In fact I think that that qualifies sexual harrasement. It is not okay for a teacher to non consensualy kiss a student! Things like that are really messed up.

Not nowadays.

Sad world, isn't it?

Hi everyone! I am the original OP of this thread from 5 years ago. I did not push this issue further after witnessing the teacher kiss DD on the cheek. She has since moved on to middle school and no longer has said teacher. I reiterated that no one has a right to touch you in any way without permission etc.

No. It's not okay. PP who explained about the theater thing gets a pass. Other than that, not okay.

I taught for years. Never. Hugs, yes. Kisses, no. And, I remember years ago when one of the teachers said we would get to a time when hugs would be inappropriate. I think we are getting there now.

Anonymous wrote:I'm a first grade teacher.
First of all, the whole "it only happens when other kids aren't around thing" is weird as all get out. Not okay. Definitely go talk to the principal.
Second, I love my students second only to my own children. But one of my biggest fears is that either I will accidentally curse in front of my students or that I will accidentally kiss them. By accidentally, I mean, without thinking about it. I've kissed a kid on the top of their head twice in my long career. Sometimes, it just happens. Probably because I kiss my own children all the time. But my general rule is no kissing. I do hug quite often, but I nearly always ask and several times throughout the year, I give my "your body belongs to you" speech and that they have a right to tell anyone, even me, not to touch them.

Oh my gosh, thank you. I’m a teacher and did this once years ago— a kid did a fabulous job in a performance and came off stage and I just kissed her on the top of the head the way I do with my son without thinking. (I’m a woman, it was a 4th grade girl.) I was appalled at myself but she didn’t think anything of it apparently. I was still soooo scared I was going to lose my job! I’m glad I’m not the only one!

I am a preschool teacher. I would never kiss a student but I hug them al day long!

Anonymous wrote:I haven't read all the threads but where I live in Latin America, it would be weird and frigid if the teacher didn't kiss a kid. If it's a warning sign for abuse in the DC area, that's one thing... but I also think it's sad.

Ditto

I haven't read all the threads but where I live in Latin America, it would be weird and frigid if the teacher didn't kiss a kid. If it's a warning sign for abuse in the DC area, that's one thing... but I also think it's sad.

Elementary and upwards, I think it's better to have a blanket rule against kissing. It's so context-specific. It's not that I cannot think of appropriate circumstances/locations/relationships where it could be OK, but it's too subjective to allow. There are cultural interpretations, etc. Risk of abuse is too much, and there are too many other acceptable forms of affection, encouragement, or reassurance. This isn't needed.

Anonymous wrote:No it's not okay for a teacher to kiss any child on the face no matter what age and what the circumstances are.

My mother was one of my elementary school teachers, and she kissed me goodnight every night, so I'd argue there is one circumstance. . .

But other than maybe Dad or Grandma that's the only circumstance I can come up with.

I'm a first grade teacher.
First of all, the whole "it only happens when other kids aren't around thing" is weird as all get out. Not okay. Definitely go talk to the principal.
Second, I love my students second only to my own children. But one of my biggest fears is that either I will accidentally curse in front of my students or that I will accidentally kiss them. By accidentally, I mean, without thinking about it. I've kissed a kid on the top of their head twice in my long career. Sometimes, it just happens. Probably because I kiss my own children all the time. But my general rule is no kissing. I do hug quite often, but I nearly always ask and several times throughout the year, I give my "your body belongs to you" speech and that they have a right to tell anyone, even me, not to touch them.

doodlebug wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pediatrician here.

This is absolutely not ok.

This is not the French teacher giving a peck to her student when she sees her at the park.

This is a teacher kissing a child only when alone and only showing this "affection" to this child alone. Huge red flags to me.

This is a 7 yr old's version of events. How could the child possibly know whether or not it happens to other kids? He/she can't know that. Especially if it happens in private has the kid says. I'm suspect of the child's version of events, but maybe I'm just not paranoid enough.

To me the most suspicious part of the story is that "it happens when no other kids can see it" and now we are just assuming that somehow this teacher is ALONE with OP's kid? When??? Where? This just does not happen in a normal elementary school setting. So if I were OP, I would first investigate the set of circumstances surrounding the "being alone with the teacher" scenario (unless somehow the teacher/student are the last ones in the classroom to go out for recess??...or there is some kind of divider screen in the classroom behind which the teacher steals random kisses? I just don't get where this would be possible.) So I'd start there. And if it turns out that that part turns out to be true and possible, then I'd send a message to teacher that another kid reported that he/she saw teacher kiss DC on the face and it got back to me and I am uncomfortable with that. So even if it was simply out of kindness, it needs to cease. Then see what her/his response is. If teacher confirms it, I'm sorry--but I would go to the principal and have the teacher dismissed. If teacher denies that it happened then I would tell DC to let me know if it EVER happens again. (It will NOT since, if it ever did in the first place, teacher would not dare try it again.) But I guess this allows me to give teacher the benefit of the doubt that it is even taking place as DC describes. If teacher confirms that it is, then to me that is a fireable offense.

If anyone touches my kid in a sexual way there will be lawyers involved asap.