Anonymous
Post 11/13/2013 11:12     Subject: stood up
sorry,op. he sounds like a jerk. move on.
Anonymous
Post 11/13/2013 11:05     Subject: stood up
Anonymous wrote:Wait OP, I'm confused. if you schedule a date 2 weeks in advance, don't you touch base the day before or something to find out if it's still on? Or did you just wait until the day of the date and showed up at the restaurant or wherever?


She answered this already.

They we're communicating via text and he told he was getting ready for the date.
Anonymous
Post 11/13/2013 10:55     Subject: stood up
Wait OP, I'm confused. if you schedule a date 2 weeks in advance, don't you touch base the day before or something to find out if it's still on? Or did you just wait until the day of the date and showed up at the restaurant or wherever?
Anonymous
Post 11/13/2013 06:10     Subject: stood up
gave*
Anonymous
Post 11/13/2013 06:09     Subject: stood up
I don't understand how he could be too down to make an effort at apologizing. That's just immature.

I was stood up by someone I had a casual relationship with a few weeks ago. It stung. It sucks to have someone not meet very basic expectations. He apologized via email, claimed he was so sick that he slept the whole next day. But, he sent that message from his work computer. The lie on top of being stood up was infuriating.

I felt like a fucking chump for being excited about seeing him, when he couldn't be bothered to remember to show up for the get together he arranged. I don't think he could make it any more clear that he just doesn't give a shit. I have him the chance afterwards to make the effort. He didn't. Moving on...
Anonymous
Post 11/12/2013 22:38     Subject: stood up
Anonymous wrote:OP, NO...You most definitely did not take this WAY TOO personally. If I liked a guy and he did this to me too, I would also be down in the dumps.

I hate to be blunt, but trust me on this....IF this guy really really liked you, he wouldn't have fallen asleep. He would have been too excited for this date...Like a kid on Christmas Eve.

But look at the silver lining here.
You dodged a bullet.

This guy is a jerk.
Many women find this out after many dates. Some after many months, years, kids, etc.

Be glad you found out before the first date.

Lucky Girl.

Good Luck.


Agree. If he was into you no way he was falling asleep. You got lucky on this one.
Anonymous
Post 11/12/2013 22:33     Subject: Re:stood up
Anonymous wrote:I will break from the pack on this one. I would not be insulted by the text. If they are in the habit of communicating that way, it seems perfectly normal to me. I strongly dislike talking on the phone, so text is fine with me.

OP, what COULD he do to make it up to you? If I was you, and still wanted to see him, I would say something along the lines of "I was pretty upset that you stood me up, but I am interested in you and would like to try again." Then suggest the activity that YOU would like.

If you really like him, recognize that sometimes things happen. If it happens again, cut him off.


Doormat, tell us more...
Anonymous
Post 11/12/2013 22:31     Subject: stood up
Anonymous wrote:I was supposed to go out with this guy I like for our first date this Saturday, he had scheduled it two weeks in advance. I was really looking forward to this date because I know we already like each other and I don't know, maybe my expectations were too high... He stood me up, texted me the next day saying he had fallen asleep and wanted to know how he could make it up to me. I was kinda crushed, how can I give him another chance at this point? Because sleeping through the date pretty much reads to me as, "I am just not that in to you" ...right? I am pretty sure he does not have a medical condition and he is in his late thirties. I still feel like shit two days later, I know I have a right to be upset but I also think I took this way too personally and feel heartbroken even though we haven't gone on one date!

Any advice is appreciated


He is not that in to you. If he was he would not have stood you up. He was offered guaranteed pussy and took it. Skip him.
Anonymous
Post 11/12/2013 21:18     Subject: Re:stood up
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm the person who said to consider giving him another chance. I guess you have your answer. Out of curiosity, have you heard from him since?


I responded to his text the next day saying that the fact that he was sleeping didn't make me feel less rejected, but I also said- not that we couldn't try again but I was still kinda hurt. He responded "okay" to that and I haven't heard from him since...

He then posted on Facebook about what an idiot he is sometimes and I heard from our mutual friend that he is feeling sorry for himself about it.


How lucky you are that this guy showed his true colors before you spent months in a relationship with him! I know it must have hurt at the time though.

I didn't see this thread when it first was posted. If I had, I would have been one of the lonely few who said it might be worth giving him a second chance. But you have done that now, with your reply to his text, and he BLEW it big time. "okay" and then not communicating directly with you since is NOT the way to make it up to you and try again.

Move on. Sorry for the disappointment you must have felt, but really you are better off.
Anonymous
Post 11/12/2013 17:53     Subject: stood up
Anonymous wrote:I don't think it sounds like a self esteem issue. The guy forgot about her. How is that not offensive?


I totally agree, but she was feeling very hurt and rejected.
But maybe you're right - it's a natural response , especially if she was looking forward to this date for weeks.
I just remember how I used to feel during my dating days, my self-esteem could be really fragile.