So the teacher gives assignments and never looks at them again. Just keeps teaching on without ever taking the time to see if how the kids are doing. Great teachers we have here. Seriously, I wouldn't be surprised if FCPS's stature as a good public school system starts taking a big hit if this is what it's offering.

Anonymous wrote:I was wondering if I am supposed to teach and help my DC at home.

DC is 3rd grade, and seems struggling with math.
I hope the teacher knows and helping from the base if it is necessary.
- It is a small class.

but the teacher just keep going and keep going.

Should I fill the gap?
Actually, I don't want to.
I think it's teachers' job to teach their students, not parents.
(I can give a hint on a very challeging homework problem, though. )


Do you teach your DC at home?

OP, you say you "hope the teacher knows" you child is struggling.

Red flag there. You hope? It's up to your son, first and foremost, and you, since he's only, what, eight?, to be sure the teacher does know he's struggling.

That is not the same as having to teach your son math. You have to communicate better with the teacher, and to teach your son to communicate with her too. (Yeah, I'm
going to say "her" since OP doesn't specify. All my kid's math teachers have been women so I'm picking that with no offense aimed at men teaching math.)

We found in third grade AAP that the teachers often do not know each individual child's problem areas in math. There are too many kids. And very often, homework -- where a lot of the learning should get done and where the problems should get identified -- is "graded" in class by the kids themselves, with the teacher giving the answers to the class. But the teachers sometimes never actually see the homework, so they don't know that Johnny got five out of ten homework answers wrong and needs extra help with division, now, before the unit test in two weeks' time. Homework is often not graded for being right or wrong but just for being done, and when kids check it for themselves, the teacher does not see that problems 2, 5, and 9 show that the child isn't understanding a particular concept.

This is where you come in. Do you look at his homework daily? I see that you say you can give him hints on challenging problems - great. Do it, but also be sure you look over everything else too. Do you know what unit they're on now? Do you see his homework after it's been checked so you know how he did on it? Or do you look at it and actually check through it daily and say "Try this one again" for questions with issues?

Don't just "hope" that the teacher knows he's struggling -- tell her he is. And encourage your son strongly to go see the teacher to discuss problem X and Y in last night's homework that he really tanked on, for instance. If he is balky and feels he'll be singled out as "dumb" if he does that, arrange with the teacher for him to come in early or stay after school for a time to work on his problem areas. (By middle school teachers have specific days they stay after school to answer questions and provide help. My kid, who does fine with but isn't a whiz at math, has figured out that it does help her to stay during that time and walk through things with the teacher then. In elementary you need to arrange that kind of occasional time with the teacher but it is worthwhile and teaches the child that the teacher is there to help them and not just to throw problems and grades at them.)

This isn't "teaching" your child, though some in DCUM-land will say that it is, or that it's helicoptering. Nope, it's called paying attention and advocating where you need to. IT does not mean you are pushing for your kid to be a math genius but it does mean you want your child to be comfortable with, and not stressed about, math.

Thank you for your further answer. You have had a long life with many accomplishments. Possibly a slightly later timeframe, but I also recall when soccer was a relatively new sport here and high school coaches had to work hard to fill out a team roster because none of the boys had ever really played the sport before. And not every high school even fielded a team, although the private schools were more likely to have one. It certainly was a different world back then!

I do appreciate your response to my follow-on questions. I regret that I may have been confusing by adding to my original questions, which I realize are difficult to answer. I am just asking you to give them some thought, but not asking you to answer here. I will re-quote the original:

Think of something in your life that you struggle with and don't enjoy very much. What if you needed to get better at that skill? What if it is a skill that is not a strength for your parents either? How would you approach learning a skill that didn't play to abilities that you enjoy using?

I muddied the waters a bit with my hypothetical, but the point is to think about something that you just do not like at all and would never choose on your own to do and imagine having to learn that subject or skill to a high level without any help from family. Not a skill or subject that you have actually learned in real life, but one that you chose not to do because of dislike for it. Just some ideas to think about, that's all.

Is the last quote in answer to the questions above? If so, I was hoping the answer would address some of the specifics of the questions.

Attitude, frame of mind, and perseverance are great things, and can do wonders under the right conditions. But they can only go so far. Do you think it possible that attitude, frame of mind, and perseverance can turn a non-athlete into someone who can earn a living playing ice hockey? Or that enjoyment of and inclination for a subject or skill have nothing to do with success in learning that subject or skill?

Your questions are a bit unfair since there are many who may not have been as fortunate or lucky to have developed well roundedness throughout school and life with accomplishments in several non mathematical domains. Suffice to say, I have had my share of adversity.

I thrived as an athlete and journalist while double majoring in science and the humanities at a prestigious college before going on to secure combined professional and graduate degrees.

I was barely 95 lbs and 5 feet when I entered the 9th grade (smallest and by far the youngest in the class but I had working legs and an accurate left foot). By dint of hard work I moved from the last player selected (surviving the try outs) on the JV soccer team to captain of the varsity soccer team as a senior in high school. Thus, while I did not have the physical gifts of the athletes of the day; through passionate hard work I earned my spurs from JV activity to the fastest kid in the class by my senior year. I walked on to the team in college (non recruit) and played soccer all 4 years. I do recall being scouted by a few burgeoning teams my senior year in college around the time there was activity gathering to start a pro league in the US. Of course, I probably would not have made the final cuts and this endeavour was certainly not going to put any food on the table. I had other fish to fry, playing club soccer in professional and later graduate schools and finally as a weekend warrior.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I barely did school math homework or took any of the math books home. It was a pure waste. I never used any school textbooks. I simply did problems and also enjoyed making up and creating my own problems. Math was a contact sport. It meant getting in the game. Not with stupid math picture books by Pearson or worksheets. The teacher gave up asking for my math homework when she realized I had the top marks on every math test and always could always get him/her out of a jam in classroom explaining a difficult problem.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

You clearly enjoyed math and would have done well in it with or without outside help. The OP's child is struggling with the math at school and needs a different kind of help than a child who loves math and naturally takes to it.
Think of something in your life that you struggle with and don't enjoy very much. What if you needed to get better at that skill? What if it is a skill that is not a strength for your parents either? How would you approach learning a skill that didn't play to abilities that you enjoy using?

My parents laid the foundation for my enjoyment and success in early life. Neither I nor the other 4 of my siblings were born with this. It was nurtured like fine wine. It was not entrusted or outsourced to random tutors and school teachers.

But, the above bolded text is the question. How would you learn a skill that you did not enjoy, maybe because you had experienced a distinct lack of success with it in the past? What if you needed to learn this skill? What would be your approach if you worked at it and worked at it but continued to fail, and you had no one in your family with a background in this skill?

I'm still curious about this. You say you were not born with skill in math and yet were able to ace every test while not completing homework or looking at the text book, which is great. Were you successful in the same way in all your other academic subjects, in that you had no need to do the homework or study the textbooks? What about music and sports? Were you similarly successful in those pursuits? If not, was there some area that you just did not like when you were in school? Think about that subject or skill and think about how you would learn something in which you were just not interested and weren't all that great at when you did give it a try.

I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that you are not an ice hockey player. And in my hypothetical, you don't particularly care for ice skating. What if, for whatever reason, you needed to learn how to play ice hockey so that you could earn a living? How would you go about that? Do you think you could overcome your lack of interest in ice skating and hockey to learn it well enough to earn a living doing it? Do you think you might wish and yearn for some good math problems instead, because that is what you really like doing? Or would you just cease enjoying math if there was no practical reason for it?

Sorry, a lot of questions, I know. But I do believe it is always useful to turn an idea around in our minds to see how we would feel in changed circumstances.

My experience has taught me that attitude, frame of mind and preserverance, are the real keys to success and overcoming adversity ... at least in my circumstances. If you trick or deceive yourself into believing you are inadequate chances are you will be proved right.

Is the last quote in answer to the questions above? If so, I was hoping the answer would address some of the specifics of the questions.

Attitude, frame of mind, and perseverance are great things, and can do wonders under the right conditions. But they can only go so far. Do you think it possible that attitude, frame of mind, and perseverance can turn a non-athlete into someone who can earn a living playing ice hockey? Or that enjoyment of and inclination for a subject or skill have nothing to do with success in learning that subject or skill?

My experience has taught me that attitude, frame of mind and preserverance, are the real keys to success and overcoming adversity ... at least in my circumstances. If you trick or deceive yourself into believing you are inadequate chances are you will be proved right.

Anonymous wrote:I barely did school math homework or took any of the math books home. It was a pure waste. I never used any school textbooks. I simply did problems and also enjoyed making up and creating my own problems. Math was a contact sport. It meant getting in the game. Not with stupid math picture books by Pearson or worksheets. The teacher gave up asking for my math homework when she realized I had the top marks on every math test and always could always get him/her out of a jam in classroom explaining a difficult problem.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

You clearly enjoyed math and would have done well in it with or without outside help. The OP's child is struggling with the math at school and needs a different kind of help than a child who loves math and naturally takes to it.
Think of something in your life that you struggle with and don't enjoy very much. What if you needed to get better at that skill? What if it is a skill that is not a strength for your parents either? How would you approach learning a skill that didn't play to abilities that you enjoy using?

My parents laid the foundation for my enjoyment and success in early life. Neither I nor the other 4 of my siblings were born with this. It was nurtured like fine wine. It was not entrusted or outsourced to random tutors and school teachers.

But, the above bolded text is the question. How would you learn a skill that you did not enjoy, maybe because you had experienced a distinct lack of success with it in the past? What if you needed to learn this skill? What would be your approach if you worked at it and worked at it but continued to fail, and you had no one in your family with a background in this skill?

I'm still curious about this. You say you were not born with skill in math and yet were able to ace every test while not completing homework or looking at the text book, which is great. Were you successful in the same way in all your other academic subjects, in that you had no need to do the homework or study the textbooks? What about music and sports? Were you similarly successful in those pursuits? If not, was there some area that you just did not like when you were in school? Think about that subject or skill and think about how you would learn something in which you were just not interested and weren't all that great at when you did give it a try.

I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that you are not an ice hockey player. And in my hypothetical, you don't particularly care for ice skating. What if, for whatever reason, you needed to learn how to play ice hockey so that you could earn a living? How would you go about that? Do you think you could overcome your lack of interest in ice skating and hockey to learn it well enough to earn a living doing it? Do you think you might wish and yearn for some good math problems instead, because that is what you really like doing? Or would you just cease enjoying math if there was no practical reason for it?

Sorry, a lot of questions, I know. But I do believe it is always useful to turn an idea around in our minds to see how we would feel in changed circumstances.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Math teacher here. I suggest you raise your concern with the teacher so they can be sure to keep an eye out. I also suggest you leave the teaching to the teacher since many things change over time with math (preferred methods, content, etc.) so it's best that the kid be taught the one way that they are expected to do things in class.

I have a 3rd grader - I don't teach her at home - I only give a little help if she specifically asks. If I was concerned that she hadn't grasped a topic, I would just email the teacher.

A teacher who has no clue that a child is struggling in his/her class doesn't sound very competent to me. I think the problem with our school system is too many parents decide to leave everything to the teachers. In the younger grades I taught my kids math ahead of where they were in school because they were ready for it. There was no confusion and they did quite well in math. I think OP should talk to the teacher, but math is math and kids who know how to solve problems in multiple ways can develop a greater understanding of the topic. In my opinion, a win win. If a child truly understands what they are doing and why, learning it in two different ways should not hinder them in anyway. Whatever the preferred flavor/method of the day is, if kids are taught well, they don't get confused when they encounter a different method.

Unfortunately, sometimes teachers might not have a clue because parents are doing everything to cover it up. They're helping/doing their kids homework when teachers specifically tell parents if the homework takes longer than a certain time to let them know. You can't have it both ways. Teachers aren't the enemies and every concept/subject isn't going to come easily to every child. Parents need to get real instead of expecting straight A's and instant comprehension from all their kids or something is wrong with the school system.