Anonymous
Post 10/27/2013 19:41     Subject: Envious when people post about their wealth and success on DCUM?
I have been a poster who has posted frequently on this thread and am also wealthy. I have never had the reactions OP says she has towards her vacations or other ways she spends her money. OP, perhaps it is time that you look at how you write these emails and determine if they are off putting, regardless of money. I suspect they are and that is why you get the cold shoulder on them. But I also suspect you are not the type of person to self reflect like that. Oh well. To each their own. I'm sure you will fit in just fine with those who like to talk about how expensive their hotel room was etc.
Anonymous
Post 10/27/2013 19:36     Subject: Envious when people post about their wealth and success on DCUM?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
It sounds like you like to boast, and then scrutinize reactions. I have none of the experiences you describe. But neither do I bother people with my kids' grades or my vacations. Who emails about vacations anyways? Don't you have anything more interesting to share?


Once again, people are not reading my messages. I am saying that I do NOT like to boast in real life. But I do like to write so what I am saying in this thread may be considered boasting but it is in an anonymous forum.

ALMOST EVERYONE loves sharing vacation stories with each other. Many people including me find these very interesting. Many people also enjoy writing about their vacations. Keeping a vacation journal is similar to taking photos. Do you not share vacation photos with people?

Boasting about your kids is also EXTREMELY common. As parents, you work hard to teach them and spend time with them. When they do well, you can't help but share their success with the whole world.

Basically, life is about working hard so that you can enjoy your life. A rich life includes sharing your successful life stories with each other.


No, I don't share vacation photos. The more you write, the more obvious it is becoming that you are boring. I would look at that as the reason people are avoiding you.
Anonymous
Post 10/27/2013 19:13     Subject: Envious when people post about their wealth and success on DCUM?
Anonymous wrote:
It sounds like you like to boast, and then scrutinize reactions. I have none of the experiences you describe. But neither do I bother people with my kids' grades or my vacations. Who emails about vacations anyways? Don't you have anything more interesting to share?


Once again, people are not reading my messages. I am saying that I do NOT like to boast in real life. But I do like to write so what I am saying in this thread may be considered boasting but it is in an anonymous forum.

ALMOST EVERYONE loves sharing vacation stories with each other. Many people including me find these very interesting. Many people also enjoy writing about their vacations. Keeping a vacation journal is similar to taking photos. Do you not share vacation photos with people?

Boasting about your kids is also EXTREMELY common. As parents, you work hard to teach them and spend time with them. When they do well, you can't help but share their success with the whole world.

Basically, life is about working hard so that you can enjoy your life. A rich life includes sharing your successful life stories with each other.
Anonymous
Post 10/27/2013 18:52     Subject: Envious when people post about their wealth and success on DCUM?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP no amount of money can resolve your problem that you feel people are envious of you or don't understand you. Get some therapy to address your feelings re money and socioeconomic status and stop attributing negative intent to everyone and everything.


Thanks for your comments. I was trying to ask a question and generate discussion (partly based on an article I read that FB causes envy) but I can see that this is turning into a post about me and why I asked.

People do not envy me. I keep a low profile. People do not know I have money and happiness. I go out of my way to keep a low profile. I will give you examples of what has happened though. While I don't use FB, I do send emails. If I email about normal things, I get responses and we begin a discussion. If I start emailing about vacations, there is deafening silence (from some people). It is has become quite clear to me that SOME people don't want to hear about my vacations. Or if I email innocently that I am happy my stock went up or that my kids got straight As, once again there is silence (from some people). These are just examples, but I feel like some people are envious and don't want to hear about my successes in life.

Does nobody else receive this type of reaction? I think this reaction is unfortunate but not unexpected. So it is best for my relationship if I don't talk about my successes with this type of person. I can continue to enjoy talking to these people about other things.


It sounds like you like to boast, and then scrutinize reactions. I have none of the experiences you describe. But neither do I bother people with my kids' grades or my vacations. Who emails about vacations anyways? Don't you have anything more interesting to share?
Anonymous
Post 10/27/2013 18:39     Subject: Envious when people post about their wealth and success on DCUM?
Anonymous wrote:OP no amount of money can resolve your problem that you feel people are envious of you or don't understand you. Get some therapy to address your feelings re money and socioeconomic status and stop attributing negative intent to everyone and everything.


Thanks for your comments. I was trying to ask a question and generate discussion (partly based on an article I read that FB causes envy) but I can see that this is turning into a post about me and why I asked.

People do not envy me. I keep a low profile. People do not know I have money and happiness. I go out of my way to keep a low profile. I will give you examples of what has happened though. While I don't use FB, I do send emails. If I email about normal things, I get responses and we begin a discussion. If I start emailing about vacations, there is deafening silence (from some people). It is has become quite clear to me that SOME people don't want to hear about my vacations. Or if I email innocently that I am happy my stock went up or that my kids got straight As, once again there is silence (from some people). These are just examples, but I feel like some people are envious and don't want to hear about my successes in life.

Does nobody else receive this type of reaction? I think this reaction is unfortunate but not unexpected. So it is best for my relationship if I don't talk about my successes with this type of person. I can continue to enjoy talking to these people about other things.
Anonymous
Post 10/27/2013 16:18     Subject: Envious when people post about their wealth and success on DCUM?
OP no amount of money can resolve your problem that you feel people are envious of you or don't understand you. Get some therapy to address your feelings re money and socioeconomic status and stop attributing negative intent to everyone and everything.
Anonymous
Post 10/27/2013 16:09     Subject: Envious when people post about their wealth and success on DCUM?
Anonymous wrote:To me, DCUM just demonstrates that money can't buy happiness. There's so many f-ed up posts from people who claim to have a ton of money. I'm perfectly fine where I'm at, and think that having too much more would add stress to my life.


+1,000,000
Anonymous
Post 10/27/2013 15:54     Subject: Envious when people post about their wealth and success on DCUM?
Don't care. The people I know IRL are just as successful and/or richer (many don't work or have jobs). And most don't have kids or I never see the kids.

So no not envious. I come to DCUM to hear about people who lead a more regular family life.
Anonymous
Post 10/27/2013 15:47     Subject: Envious when people post about their wealth and success on DCUM?
this initial post ... and OPs relentless "you don't understand" followups ... has got to be one of the strangest things I ever read. she/he seems hell bent on making people see that she is misunderstood. talk about firstworld problems. go find a wealthy crowd and hang out with them ... voila ... i have quite the purse collection but i never lost a poor friend bc she resented what was hanging off my arm! lol

op, have you ever heard that the world is a mirror and you see what you project/ what you expect to see? if you are so certain that others resent you, you will eventually succeed in creating that sort of world for yourself.

but i think you may be a troll
Anonymous
Post 10/27/2013 15:44     Subject: Re:Envious when people post about their wealth and success on DCUM?
My husband :

doesn't cheat on me
doesn't go to titty bars
doesn't smoke weed
doesn't get happy ending massages
never refuses to help around the house
never ignores me
doesn't talk mean to me
needs no man therapy
is not mentally unstable
sure as hell isn't lazy
is an attentive father
loves being home with me
doesn't text or talk to other women behind my back
shares the money he makes
and we don't have power struggles

No amount of money can buy that. This is why I envy no one. You can have the riches.
Anonymous
Post 10/27/2013 15:16     Subject: Envious when people post about their wealth and success on DCUM?
No. Maybe I'd envy them if I knew any personally, but I don't.I'm poor, my friends are poor, so I guess
I just don't know any better. It's just interesting to read about "rich people's problems".
It's not that bad to be poor if most everything else in my life is going well.So there's no need to want somebody else's life that might come with problems money can't fix.
Anonymous
Post 10/27/2013 15:13     Subject: Re:Envious when people post about their wealth and success on DCUM?
Anonymous wrote:I don't care what other people have. I don't want other people knowing what I have.



Yup, noisy family, friends and neighbors are unbearable. Don't mind all the bragging on DCUM though
Anonymous
Post 10/27/2013 15:04     Subject: Re:Envious when people post about their wealth and success on DCUM?
I don't care what other people have. I don't want other people knowing what I have.

Anonymous
Post 10/27/2013 14:49     Subject: Re:Envious when people post about their wealth and success on DCUM?
Anonymous wrote:If you are looking for rich people who can relate to your new lifestyle move to Chevy Chase or McLean or a similar neighborhood. Send your kids to private school, join a club, go to charity galas, buy a second home on Nantucket/Martha's vineyard and voila you will be surrounded by rich people that you can make friends with. Be careful what you wish for. You may feel compelled to keep up with the jones' and you may not feel as rich as you did when you had more money than your previous friends.
If you want new rich friends to compare vacation locations there are plenty of places to meet them.


we are likely to do a couple of these things in the near future. but that is not the point of this thread. Thanks for the thoughtful response.

a few responses simply don't merit my attention. i find that dcum posts are mostly good, but there are always some mean ones that add no value. I wish there was a way to remove these people from all message boards.
Anonymous
Post 10/27/2013 14:34     Subject: Re:Envious when people post about their wealth and success on DCUM?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
It is impossible NOT to post about wealth on FB. FB is all about vacations (I travel to exotic destinations frequently). FB is about food (fancy restaurants and meals and dinner parties). FB is about sharing that new handbag you purchased. Or a new car. Or that new stainless steel refrigerator. Even if you make donations or pursue advanced degrees, people know that you need money to do that. People can be envious that they don't have money to do the same.

My point is that most FB posts are about how you live, which is directly associated to your wealth.


Sweetie, people just don't care about that stuff. Sorry, but they don't. And they are probably laughing at you everytime you post. I promise you, no one cares about your new handbag.

Just went back and looked at my page -

Yesterday I posted a picture of my son at his Martial Arts testing.
There is a post about my DH and I working in the backyard.
I scanned and posted my son's school picture for his grandparents.
I posted a news article and tagged my college aged boys. It was relevant to their degrees.
I posted a couple of links to some neat gardening stuff.
We went to church and out to eat and I posted the name of the Indian restaurant because it was so incredibly good!
My daughter's rowing team traveled to a regatta and I posted the results plus a couple of pictures.
I posted a picture of our family sitting around the fire pit roasting marshmallows last week.

Most of these posts were directly for the benefit of grandparents who live far away. I don't have any friends who post about handbags. The only exotic vacation pictures I care about are the ones that have people in them - and that's what my friends post. I have lots of very wealthy friends. None of them use facebook to make sure the world knows they are wealthy.



Nobody cares about these, either.


I disagree. Unlike the person who posted her daughter's feet (???), these posts are intended for family who live far away (as the poster said). This is the exact type of stuff the family would be interested in. As for gardening stuff, one would imagine the poster has like-minded friends who'd be interested in gardening.


I very much doubt her only FB friends are her far away family.