Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand what she's supposed to do if she is puking in the morning. I had bad morning sickness throughout my first trimester. I normally took the subway into work, but after having to get off at a stop and puke in the garbage can, I had to drive. Not safe to drive when you feel like any movement is going to make you throw up. Luckily, my boss was very understanding and all I had to do was send a "having a difficult morning. Will be however many minutes late".

You sound like a bitch. No other way around it. Sorry she's not as amazing as the MANY other people you know who sucked it up and just puked all day at work.

She's not actually puking. What you're referring to is what I mean that I've seen in others - who still came to work.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand what she's supposed to do if she is puking in the morning. I had bad morning sickness throughout my first trimester. I normally took the subway into work, but after having to get off at a stop and puke in the garbage can, I had to drive. Not safe to drive when you feel like any movement is going to make you throw up. Luckily, my boss was very understanding and all I had to do was send a "having a difficult morning. Will be however many minutes late".

You sound like a bitch. No other way around it. Sorry she's not as amazing as the MANY other people you know who sucked it up and just puked all day at work.

She's not actually puking. What you're referring to is what I mean that I've seen in others - who still came to work.

I have to agree with OP here. I had severe all-day sickness with actual vomiting literally all day long. I ended up hospitalized 2x with each pg for dehydration and still went to work every day and even the day after being in the hospital each night with the dehydration. I was never late and I didn't miss work except for appts. I don't think it's a really good excuse. I also had this condition from 6 weeks pg to the day I gave birth and I worked up to the I gave birth both times. She is completely taking advantage and I would be worried that she wouldn't step up to take on your work, OP, when your out.

I am also a fed btw, so I could have taken sick leave and was even offered medical leave but I didn't want to take advantage.

Anonymous wrote:Look, you didn't have bad morning sickness. You didn't have to deal with what she deal with, so you didn't have anything to suck up. Believe it or not, it really, really sucks to have bad morning sickness. Lucky you. But that doesn't mean your co-worker should have to ACT JUST LIKE YOU.

Why don't you cover for her now, so she can cover for you while you are out.

Stop being a bitch.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is terrible when people say they are "working from home" or "teleworking" but aren't really working and/or aren't available. THAT sets back the cause for the rest of us that actually DO log in for 8 hours and work for the work day.

If she is sick but not taking sick leave and calling it "telework" this is a problem. (But be sure that others are also logging their sick leave hours, and actually teleworking too).

How is "really working" being measured, though? The kinds of jobs that permit telework (e.g., not a surgeon or a teacher, etc.) are typically those in which employees don't "work" the full time they're in the office. I mean, are people teleworking not allowed to eat? Use the bathroom? Take a short break? The studies on telework show that most of those who telework actually work more hours in the day, not less, than when they're in the office.

I have little sympathy for people who focus on face time rather than productivity. If the work's not being done, that's a problem. If it is, who cares whether it takes five hours or eight or 12? Punishing efficiency is poor practice.

OP said the issue is lack of responsiveness. I don't think it's too much for OP to expect her co-workers to be responsive and reachable during working hours while telecommuting.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand what she's supposed to do if she is puking in the morning. I had bad morning sickness throughout my first trimester. I normally took the subway into work, but after having to get off at a stop and puke in the garbage can, I had to drive. Not safe to drive when you feel like any movement is going to make you throw up. Luckily, my boss was very understanding and all I had to do was send a "having a difficult morning. Will be however many minutes late".

You sound like a bitch. No other way around it. Sorry she's not as amazing as the MANY other people you know who sucked it up and just puked all day at work.

She's not actually puking. What you're referring to is what I mean that I've seen in others - who still came to work.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is terrible when people say they are "working from home" or "teleworking" but aren't really working and/or aren't available. THAT sets back the cause for the rest of us that actually DO log in for 8 hours and work for the work day.

If she is sick but not taking sick leave and calling it "telework" this is a problem. (But be sure that others are also logging their sick leave hours, and actually teleworking too).

How is "really working" being measured, though? The kinds of jobs that permit telework (e.g., not a surgeon or a teacher, etc.) are typically those in which employees don't "work" the full time they're in the office. I mean, are people teleworking not allowed to eat? Use the bathroom? Take a short break? The studies on telework show that most of those who telework actually work more hours in the day, not less, than when they're in the office.

I have little sympathy for people who focus on face time rather than productivity. If the work's not being done, that's a problem. If it is, who cares whether it takes five hours or eight or 12? Punishing efficiency is poor practice.

Anonymous wrote:It is terrible when people say they are "working from home" or "teleworking" but aren't really working and/or aren't available. THAT sets back the cause for the rest of us that actually DO log in for 8 hours and work for the work day.

If she is sick but not taking sick leave and calling it "telework" this is a problem. (But be sure that others are also logging their sick leave hours, and actually teleworking too).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, OP, I think you have two problems that you conflated into one and that has caused plenty of blowback from PPs.

The first problem is her performance and the issue of whether or not she is abusing flexibility and under reporting her work hours. The is purely a performance issue. It doesn't matter if she is pregnant, or ill, or having personal issues (pregnancy is not, in and of itself, a disability, and we set women's rights back a hundred years if we start looking at it as such.) That said, pregnancy complications are legit reasons to take allotted sick time and are a good reason to extend earn backs or the option of unpaid time off to address.

Your second problem is your concern about how her pregnancy affects your maternity leave. This is a personal issue, likely magnified by the fact that you are friends with her. You want her to step up, have your back, and deliver in the manner you want her to deliver so you can go on leave with no worries. The problem is, this is not really a fair request, if she is having a hard time, and your focus on this aspect makes you look insensitive. She is disappointing you in the friend arena, and that's not an appropriate reason for you to be upset with her, professionally.

IMO, separate the issues. Deal with her performance and deal with your anxiety about leave.

I hope this helps.

Excellent advice! OP I definitely understand your frustration and hope you ignore most of the nasties here. PP is right on where you should focus your attention.

Actually, I thought OP came across as really rude and unprofessional.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP here. I'm stuck on the fact that OP said this is a low paying job. What was this employee's track record before the morning sickness issue? Does she actually complete all her tasks even though she's late for work all the time? If not, it's not as though you can't do anything. You can do whatever you want pretty much. You're the boss. You choose not to because you may not be able to get a high performing lackey in a low paying job too quickly, at least not one who will perform to your expectations and be able to do your job (at no additional pay) while you take your second maternity leave. The problem with being a supervisor is, it's not just sitting around watching other people work. Oftentimes I've been in the position of having to pick up the slack when one of my employees isn't able to perform for whatever reason (vacation, maternity leave, paternity leave, bereavement leave, FMLA for caregiving to a critically ill relative etc etc). It's why being a supervisor is often not much fun and it's what factors in to the pay differential.

OP here - this thread has taken a weird turn. To address this post - she's not a lackey. She is in a managerial role in a low paying (think academia/non profit) industry. She has always been a strong employee but does have a history of taking a lot of time off. She may perceive that I do too, but I'm much more involved when I'm out of the office (and I never take unplanned days).

Not sure how this is relevant but this is my second child but first maternity leave here. I was at another job when I had my first.