I reffer to my children's teachers as Mr or Ms or Mrs and their last name. Often they address me by my first name, at that point, in an email or a one on one conversation I would address them by their first name, but in front of the children I would always call them Mr, Mrs, Ms and last name.

My impression is only in day care/ preschool environment do the children call their caregiver/ teacher Miss ans their first name.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, I am surprised by the teachers who are so bothered by being called their first name. I have always viewed parents as part of the team that is focused on helping the student be successful. Some parents call me Mrs. So and so and some by my first name. I honestly do not care either way. I am more worried about how to help he student and am glad that they are there to support the student. The rest really does not matter to me at all.

I think it reflects a misplaced form of status anxiety. Some of those responding seem to believe that the use of Mr/Ms reaffirms the professional status of the person being addressed, but these days I think the opposite is true. With the exception of doctors, people whose professional status is beyond dispute tend to be called by their first names (your lawyer, your accountant, etc.), whereas those whose status is less clear or seen as less elevated tend to be addressed as Mr/Ms (your postal carrier, the person you deal with at the DMV, etc.).

So . . . you're assuming that teachers - many of us with multiple degrees - are insecure?

no - not at all

In fact, I work with expelled kids - the last resort school. But I also believe in boundaries.

And yes, asshole, I will call our postal carrier Mr. So and So b/c he, too, deserves my respect.

insecurity?

wtf?

boundaries and respect

Anonymous wrote:Wow, I am surprised by the teachers who are so bothered by being called their first name. I have always viewed parents as part of the team that is focused on helping the student be successful. Some parents call me Mrs. So and so and some by my first name. I honestly do not care either way. I am more worried about how to help he student and am glad that they are there to support the student. The rest really does not matter to me at all.

How old are you and how long have you been in the profession?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, I am surprised by the teachers who are so bothered by being called their first name. I have always viewed parents as part of the team that is focused on helping the student be successful. Some parents call me Mrs. So and so and some by my first name. I honestly do not care either way. I am more worried about how to help he student and am glad that they are there to support the student. The rest really does not matter to me at all.

I think it reflects a misplaced form of status anxiety. Some of those responding seem to believe that the use of Mr/Ms reaffirms the professional status of the person being addressed, but these days I think the opposite is true. With the exception of doctors, people whose professional status is beyond dispute tend to be called by their first names (your lawyer, your accountant, etc.), whereas those whose status is less clear or seen as less elevated tend to be addressed as Mr/Ms (your postal carrier, the person you deal with at the DMV, etc.).

This.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, I am surprised by the teachers who are so bothered by being called their first name. I have always viewed parents as part of the team that is focused on helping the student be successful. Some parents call me Mrs. So and so and some by my first name. I honestly do not care either way. I am more worried about how to help he student and am glad that they are there to support the student. The rest really does not matter to me at all.

I think it reflects a misplaced form of status anxiety. Some of those responding seem to believe that the use of Mr/Ms reaffirms the professional status of the person being addressed, but these days I think the opposite is true. With the exception of doctors, people whose professional status is beyond dispute tend to be called by their first names (your lawyer, your accountant, etc.), whereas those whose status is less clear or seen as less elevated tend to be addressed as Mr/Ms (your postal carrier, the person you deal with at the DMV, etc.).

+1

Anonymous wrote:Wow, I am surprised by the teachers who are so bothered by being called their first name. I have always viewed parents as part of the team that is focused on helping the student be successful. Some parents call me Mrs. So and so and some by my first name. I honestly do not care either way. I am more worried about how to help he student and am glad that they are there to support the student. The rest really does not matter to me at all.

I think it reflects a misplaced form of status anxiety. Some of those responding seem to believe that the use of Mr/Ms reaffirms the professional status of the person being addressed, but these days I think the opposite is true. With the exception of doctors, people whose professional status is beyond dispute tend to be called by their first names (your lawyer, your accountant, etc.), whereas those whose status is less clear or seen as less elevated tend to be addressed as Mr/Ms (your postal carrier, the person you deal with at the DMV, etc.).

As a teacher, I am very uncomfortable when parents use my first name. I much prefer Ms. So-and-so. I will sign emails with my first and last name but always address parents as Ms., Mr., Dr....

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I have a Ph.D. And am very uncomfortable being called Dr. Adults should call rag other by first names, title doesn't matter. And to the extent that title does matter, Dr should be reserved for medical doctors.

I have a Ph.D., and I always worry, if they call me Dr. Lastname, that next they will ask for medical advice.

However, I have no problem whatsoever with being called Ms. Lastname.

I don't have a problem with Ms. Lastname either (and definitely prefer it as an alternative to Dr. Lastname), but I very much prefer to be called by my first name.

Anonymous wrote:
I have a Ph.D. And am very uncomfortable being called Dr. Adults should call rag other by first names, title doesn't matter. And to the extent that title does matter, Dr should be reserved for medical doctors.

I have a Ph.D., and I always worry, if they call me Dr. Lastname, that next they will ask for medical advice.

However, I have no problem whatsoever with being called Ms. Lastname.

Wow, I am surprised by the teachers who are so bothered by being called their first name. I have always viewed parents as part of the team that is focused on helping the student be successful. Some parents call me Mrs. So and so and some by my first name. I honestly do not care either way. I am more worried about how to help he student and am glad that they are there to support the student. The rest really does not matter to me at all.

Dear God . . .

Don't blur the lines in education.

If Jody Jackass earned an E in my English class, I would not call home/work and ask for Dharma. And when Dharma answered, I would call her Ms. Jackass.

"Ms. Jackass, this is Jody's English teacher. Unfortunately, she has an E in class because she failed to turn in her 100-point essay."

done! I am not your friend, Dharma. I am your daughter's teacher. Nor am I your peer.

We're
not
peers

So, Dharma, you should worry more about your child than yourself. But apparently, you think you're too "cool" to use a title. way too gray, Missy! This is about Jody - NOT you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So you just ASSUME that Mrs. Jackson would prefer to be addressed as Joy?

Nope. I assume she is my peer, and that we are both adults.

And then if JOY calls you Mrs. Jackass, you promptly correct her by saying, "I am Dharma. Please do no feel the need to use Mrs. or Ms."

Is that how it goes?

Yes.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Unless the teacher has a PhD, I use their first name.

What does a PhD have to do with it?

Then they get to be called Dr. Name.

(PhD poster from original quote here.)

That is asinine.

I have a Ph.D. And am very uncomfortable being called Dr. Adults should call rag other by first names, title doesn't matter. And to the extent that title does matter, Dr should be reserved for medical doctors.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Unless the teacher has a PhD, I use their first name.

What does a PhD have to do with it?

Then they get to be called Dr. Name.

(PhD poster from original quote here.)

So if Joy Jackson doesn't have a Ph.D., you call her "Joy", but if she does have a Ph.D., you call her "Dr. Jackson"? Why?

Anonymous wrote:
Unless the teacher has a PhD, I use their first name.

What does a PhD have to do with it?



Then they get to be called Dr. Name.

(PhD poster from original quote here.)

Why are they different? You respect a PhD more than another teacher?

Anonymous wrote:So you just ASSUME that Mrs. Jackson would prefer to be addressed as Joy?

Nope. I assume she is my peer, and that we are both adults.

And then if JOY calls you Mrs. Jackass, you promptly correct her by saying, "I am Dharma. Please do no feel the need to use Mrs. or Ms."

Is that how it goes?

Yes.