Just let these feelings go. You will feel so much better. I had a loved one die a few years ago and that did it for me. Our time on this planet is short. Make the most of what you have and give love freely to your family.

Once I realized that we all have our "shit" and that I'd most likely rather deal with my shit than someone else's shit, I stopped comparing. It seems only really ungrateful people compare themselves to others and come up short. For every one thing I lack that a friend does not, I'm sure I have something another friend doesn't. Life isn't fair, but I do think it does predispose itself to balance more than we give it credit for.

I could afford those things, but I actually do not want them. For some people, a nanny, big house, and expensive car are not good things to aim for. I just don't view them positively, so it's not something in envious of. A great hubby? Well... Define "great"

PP 15:53, you are right on. My mom's been gone over 10 years and it's a true tragedy. Even worse, I'm not close to my dad. Family love IS wealth. So glad you are counting your blessings.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, no. I'm not in the slightest envious. However, I do have a wonderful relationship with my DH, as few great friends, a tight relationship with my mom (who trips over herself whenever I ask her to watch my kids when I want to get away), and enough income to pay our bills, save a little, and buy good food.

The fact that I have my mom who eagerly watches my children at least once a month for an overnight and the fact that DH and I can take a week long vacation without kids to reconnect is worth MILLIONS. That fact alone keeps my relationship solid.

Perfect example. I have material wealth, a great job I enjoy and children I am close to but my mom is deceased and I never had any extended family support when raising my now teen and almost teenage children. My marriage is eh. I have two close friends.

Poster you are quoting here.

When my mom passes away, I will have a complete breakdown. I feel very sorry for people like you who have lost their mothers. Each time I get annoyed with my mom (she can be annoying as hell, like all moms!) I regroup my feelings and think what if she died? I would take her annoyances x10 just to have her back. Is see so many people take their parents for granted. I'm fortunate enough to realize that the value my mom bring to my life is worth all the riches in the world. My DH and I have had opportunity to move elsewhere for a better income and a lower COL, but I'll take my tiny house and my used cars as long as I have my mom here.

At the end of the day it is our RELATIONSHIPS that make us wealthy! My kids often ask "Mom are we rich?" My response is always "Yes, we are rich in LOVE." and that is the truth.

I envy no one.

I have two sisters, both envied the uppity lifestyle and made it their goal to have it. After experiencing that lifestyle for a few years, both are divorced multiple times and both are broke today.

You can have it because that kind of life would be too stressful for me. You constantly have to be seen, be included, feel the need to be part of the crowd.

I never had that drive to" be" somebody. I'd actually rather be invisible.

A paid off home, plenty of food to eat, decent health, little economic worries, I also have something else not many people have. A husband that doesn't stray, doesn't want to, helps me and never ever expects me to do more than I can.

I feel so damn lucky.

When I start to feel envious I remember that I made the choices about how to live my life. I was given a secure upbringing and all the educational opportunities I wanted. I chose a career that is very fulfilling with so-so pay, and I married a terrific guy who's only major flaw is that he is a mediocre earner. These were my choices to make, so what's there to complain about?

Not really. I feel very fortunate w/respect to most aspects of my life. I don't think much about what others have or don't have, or what misfortunes they may be suffering.

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, no. I'm not in the slightest envious. However, I do have a wonderful relationship with my DH, as few great friends, a tight relationship with my mom (who trips over herself whenever I ask her to watch my kids when I want to get away), and enough income to pay our bills, save a little, and buy good food.

The fact that I have my mom who eagerly watches my children at least once a month for an overnight and the fact that DH and I can take a week long vacation without kids to reconnect is worth MILLIONS. That fact alone keeps my relationship solid.

Perfect example. I have material wealth, a great job I enjoy and children I am close to but my mom is deceased and I never had any extended family support when raising my now teen and almost teenage children. My marriage is eh. I have two close friends.

Don't have friends like that, and I'd miss my own life too much to want somebody else's.

OP, if you keep thinking like this you will NEVER be happy. Your husband will leave you. You will have no friends. Is this what you want?

I am envious of several families at our private school who seem to have it all. The vacations, SAH with babysitter, country club, 2nd homes, fancy cars for the husbands (mine would love one) .... are pretty nice. Oh well, I could be doing worse.

My grandmother said, "There will always be people who have more than you do, and many people who have less." Why don't you work for big bucks if you want that kind of life?

I don't understand this theory at all. Who has the time to wonder about what others have?

And WHY (oh, why) would you wish "bad" or "worse" or "ill" on anyone? At all? Ever?

So what if they DON'T have it worse than you? Or have their own troubles? WTF do you CARE? What if their life is absolutely perfect? What are you going to do about it? Do you think ANYTHING that little old you does to them will have any kind of effect on them? Ever?

Here is how much they think about you: Not. At. All. Is this the part that bothers you so much?

I thought people here were supposed to be smart. Wow.

Trust me, she has her problems. Nobody has it all. These seemingly perfect individuals are always the ones who have skeletons in their closets-- mountains of CC debt, material items purchased in an attempt to dissolve marital tension, no savings/college funds, depression issues... Even a best friend might not have full access to what's really going on.
Soak up every ounce of what you've got. Hold your head high. Be proud. And remember, when you're at home with small children, it's totally normal to feel broke...ESP if you and your hubby got used to several years of footloose spending while you had dual incomes... but it's SO worth it. You've got what...20 more years(?) to make it in the work force and pay for fancy trips and housekeepers if that's what you want. But only a precious few years where you can be home with your babies.