Anonymous
Post 08/13/2013 20:22     Subject: If your DH could double his pay but had to travel often, would you take it?

We did this. DH traveled 2 weeks (straight) every month for about 6 months while I was pregnant with #2 (he traveled before, but not as much). He made $50k extra that year, but as the kids have gotten older (now 4 and 2) we realize the money is not worth it. Trips now are generally shorter and not as often. So I think it depends how old your kids are.

It is much harder now that the kids are a bit older - they notice he is gone and it is hard on me since I work, too. With the money, we have saved for a nice house and have good college savings for the kids. We are in a great position financially. It was worth it, but now that we are "set" there is no need to continue. FYI, DH salary was just over $100k, if he was making $250k, I don't think we would have done it. Why can't you do all the things you want on $250k?
Anonymous
Post 08/13/2013 18:35     Subject: Re:If your DH could double his pay but had to travel often, would you take it?

Anonymous wrote:OP, you are a narcissistic child. Two years of little time with DH while financial future is taken care of. Think of military spouses whose dhs are deployed overseas AND face potential death. Go cry in your $200 cereal bowl! You deserve no sympathy.


Or, two years not spending time with your kids in order to make money you don't really need. I don't really see any parallels between OP's situation and military families who are sacrificing for the greater good.
Anonymous
Post 08/13/2013 18:34     Subject: If your DH could double his pay but had to travel often, would you take it?

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Military wife of a deployed husband, OP quit your bitching.


She's not bitching. She's trying to work with her husband to come to a work life balance they both feel comfortable with.

Just because you chose to be a Military wife doesn't give you the right to criticize or look down on people who are asking for help to decide how to achieve the life they want.



Yeah! +1. Maybe you shouldn't have married him.


Wow, way to support the soldiers and military families. Whether it was her choice or not, who cares, i appreciate what the service does bevause i definitely wouldnt want to do it or be a spouse to one who does. this is seriously a case of 1% first world problems. Some people have no sense of reality.


Yeah, the solders wife has no sense of reality. She should get in her time machine and refuse the marriage proposal from her now deployed husband and go post a 'I'm tired if my marriage' thread because she is obviously just... a sad tired person.
Anonymous
Post 08/13/2013 18:25     Subject: If your DH could double his pay but had to travel often, would you take it?

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Military wife of a deployed husband, OP quit your bitching.


She's not bitching. She's trying to work with her husband to come to a work life balance they both feel comfortable with.

Just because you chose to be a Military wife doesn't give you the right to criticize or look down on people who are asking for help to decide how to achieve the life they want.



Yeah! +1. Maybe you shouldn't have married him.


Wow, way to support the soldiers and military families. Whether it was her choice or not, who cares, i appreciate what the service does bevause i definitely wouldnt want to do it or be a spouse to one who does. this is seriously a case of 1% first world problems. Some people have no sense of reality.
Anonymous
Post 08/13/2013 18:24     Subject: Re:If your DH could double his pay but had to travel often, would you take it?

OP, you are a narcissistic child. Two years of little time with DH while financial future is taken care of. Think of military spouses whose dhs are deployed overseas AND face potential death. Go cry in your $200 cereal bowl! You deserve no sympathy.
Anonymous
Post 08/13/2013 18:10     Subject: If your DH could double his pay but had to travel often, would you take it?

YES. We'd do it. We've done it. We outsource what we can so the time he is home isn't spent doing stupid stuff, it's spent as a family. But he works long hours anyway, so if he is getting home at 9pm and leaving again at 7am, being out on travel isn't any different as far as our child is concerned. So thanks very much for that salary double.

Sure, in a perfect world, we'd make do with less and he'd be home more. But the student loans aren't concerned with our work-life balance.

I guess if you really don't need it, have absolutely no debt and a loaded school/college fund for your kids and a good retirement fund, turn it down. Otherwise, get extra help and negotiate an end date and start counting down.
Anonymous
Post 08/13/2013 18:09     Subject: If your DH could double his pay but had to travel often, would you take it?

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Military wife of a deployed husband, OP quit your bitching.


She's not bitching. She's trying to work with her husband to come to a work life balance they both feel comfortable with.

Just because you chose to be a Military wife doesn't give you the right to criticize or look down on people who are asking for help to decide how to achieve the life they want.



Yeah! +1. Maybe you shouldn't have married him.
Anonymous
Post 08/13/2013 18:01     Subject: If your DH could double his pay but had to travel often, would you take it?

Yet another be thankful for what you have poster. DH travels a lot with his new job and we live off 80 a year. It's not easy and he doesn't love the travel aspect but I tell him the kids don't realize if you are gone an hour or day in theory since they have no concept of time now. When they are 12 and DH doesn't show up to a baseball game, your son WILL notice. Bank the money and be thankful DH was given the opportunity. I'd also try to plan an extra fun family vacation where cell phones/laptops were not allowed.
Anonymous
Post 08/13/2013 17:57     Subject: If your DH could double his pay but had to travel often, would you take it?

YES! My husband travels about 2 weeks out of every month. I think its what keeps our marriage on fire, haha. I need my space and time, so does he and when we see each other, we are all over each other....
Anonymous
Post 08/13/2013 17:57     Subject: If your DH could double his pay but had to travel often, would you take it?

Anonymous wrote:Military wife of a deployed husband, OP quit your bitching.


She's not bitching. She's trying to work with her husband to come to a work life balance they both feel comfortable with.

Just because you chose to be a Military wife doesn't give you the right to criticize or look down on people who are asking for help to decide how to achieve the life they want.
Anonymous
Post 08/13/2013 17:54     Subject: If your DH could double his pay but had to travel often, would you take it?

Anonymous wrote:I would pleasantly encourage him not to do it, due to loss of family time, extra stress on me, and frankly how is he not totally exhausted? If he insists on doing it, I would try to negotiate an end date with him


Pp here.
I would also insist that some of the extra money go toward outsourcing things he is not allowed to do (hiring people to help with work around the house and with kids)
Anonymous
Post 08/13/2013 17:50     Subject: Re:If your DH could double his pay but had to travel often, would you take it?

In a heartbeat. I could use some extra help around here, and honestly, at this point in time his absence would be a bonus.
Anonymous
Post 08/13/2013 17:47     Subject: Re:If your DH could double his pay but had to travel often, would you take it?

For my family, it wouldn't be worth it in the situation you are describing. I did 6 months of crazy travel, extra work, crazy hours because I needed to make our budget work (it was the only way I could keep my job). It was really stressful for my toddler (which we realized after I stopped the crazy schedule and her behavior improved so much), hard on our relationship, and no one was very happy. It you absolutely NEED the money, then, yes, you do what you need to do, but if you are trying to make a secure system more secure, I don't think it's worth it with young kids in the mix.
Anonymous
Post 08/13/2013 17:37     Subject: If your DH could double his pay but had to travel often, would you take it?

Military wife of a deployed husband, OP quit your bitching.
Anonymous
Post 08/13/2013 16:59     Subject: If your DH could double his pay but had to travel often, would you take it?

That money paid off your $50k in student loans and leaves you with only a mortgage. If you're going to be staying in that house, pay off the mortgage. Create college funds. Create a safety net. Then have him quit. All that should take you, what, another year? You will be so thankful a few years down the line.