Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If I ever had a co-worker or employee want to take a month off before having the baby, I would have been flabbergasted. That's completely insensitive, thoughtless and unprofessional. That last month is making sure everything is complete, to make your co-workers burden LESS when you are gone. If you do this and then resign, I would not expect a good reference!!

Sorry you feel this way, but I have seen many expecting mothers take time off prior to giving birth. Perhaps we work in different worlds. Also, I have to resign. What do you want from me? To take off one week, give birth, and come back to work? Are you crazy?

This is my baby. It's 10x more important than co-workers. Sorry.

Baby, yes - more important. Using up your vacation before maternity or resignation? Inconsiderate. Taking a month off is a huge deal. We have people who do it to travel to their home country or take a great vacation. They would never take 4 weeks off before taking another 3 months off to take care if an actual baby. It is clear you don't value this job or have any kind of work ethic. Good luck as a mom though!

Why is it that because she values doing work for her family, it is seen as she has no work ethic? Her loyalty is to her family, not to a job where she can be easily replaced.

There is no honoring in dragging yourself to the ground just to gain approval from the communist crew. I mean feminist.

Good for you OP for putting your family first. I have kids and I don't leave the house after 37 weeks because I am tired and cranky. So take good care of yourself and that baby. Don't listen to these women who treat their kids like accessories.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP after reading the last few of your posts, I'm wondering if you really understand the amount of time off you accrue. If you've worked at your company for about 10 months by the end of July and you have enough action leave to take the entire 22 working days of August off, that means you get more than one day of leave for every two week pay period in your first year on the job. I have never in my life heard of such generous benefits. That leads me to believe you calculated wrong and the real problem is that you will stop working and run out of leave before the baby comes, which makes you in eligible for insurance absent a COBRA election and payment.

And as to HR rescinding your vacation, yes, they can legally do it.

BTW, I am in employment lawyer with a specialty in health insurance, if that matters.

OP here. Yes, you are correct. Each pay period I receive just over a day of leave. It's a lot, but it's true. The numbers are correct because I've met with HR three times including twice in the last two weeks. I've also met with my manger several times regarding my leave because they were trying to stretch it out so I could be eligible for FMLA. I'm not making these numbers up. As I said before I met with HR in May and they calculated that I could take all of August off. If I included my sick leave I could take all of August and half of September off. I know the numbers are crazy and my husband can't believe it either. People at my work take off for weeks at a time on vacation. In fact one women too four months off before giving birth. Yes, that's four months early. So, as odd as it is I have the days.

Anyway, I've been discussing the situation with my family and I've decided to resign now. Since HR and management knows I have to resign regardless I may as well resign now and get paid for my accumulated leave (which is a lot by the way - a lot!). I'll sign up for COBRA (which HR told me yesterday they would do). This way I get August off as planned and I don't have to worry about insurance as I'll have COBRA for the next few months. My husband already has other insurance set up for after the baby is born.

Thanks for all the input, even though some were a bit mean and really unnecessary. I think some of you work in tough environments I guess. I have never seen a pregnant woman work until she was due - never. And I've known at least 7-8 women who have given birth in the last two years. And I could never see myself being mad at a person who was expecting a baby to taking leave. I mean, they are pregnant. You would expect them to take leave. All the replies about you would resent them, that's just mean and ill will from you. Sorry, but you people need to be nicer stop being so selfish. A mother has a right to put her family and baby before her co-workers.

Again, thanks all for the responses.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If I ever had a co-worker or employee want to take a month off before having the baby, I would have been flabbergasted. That's completely insensitive, thoughtless and unprofessional. That last month is making sure everything is complete, to make your co-workers burden LESS when you are gone. If you do this and then resign, I would not expect a good reference!!



Sorry you feel this way, but I have seen many expecting mothers take time off prior to giving birth. Perhaps we work in different worlds. Also, I have to resign. What do you want from me? To take off one week, give birth, and come back to work? Are you crazy?

This is my baby. It's 10x more important than co-workers. Sorry.



Baby, yes - more important. Using up your vacation before maternity or resignation? Inconsiderate. Taking a month off is a huge deal. We have people who do it to travel to their home country or take a great vacation. They would never take 4 weeks off before taking another 3 months off to take care if an actual baby. It is clear you don't value this job or have any kind of work ethic. Good luck as a mom though!



Why is it that because she values doing work for her family, it is seen as she has no work ethic? Her loyalty is to her family, not to a job where she can be easily replaced.

There is no honoring in dragging yourself to the ground just to gain approval from the communist crew. I mean feminist.

Good for you OP for putting your family first. I have kids and I don't leave the house after 37 weeks because I am tired and cranky. So take good care of yourself and that baby. Don't listen to these women who treat their kids like accessories.

Anonymous wrote:I suspect she knew all along. Her title of this post alone is indicative of someone trying to game the system: "Need HR help - Employee taking away my health coverage because I'm pregnant". Wrong. That's not what's going on. OP is pregnant and is trying to milk her employer for whatever she can get out of the system. It sounds like she (and husband who as "attained" a lawyer) are suit-happy and think they can get the employer to pay for more. In this economy, I am astounded that someone would not understand what a generous package this is (HEY! I'll take that job) and that employers are doing everything not to pay full benefits. It's getting increasingly rare to find them (my last position had no benefits whatsoever) and benefit packages, especially with generous vacation benefits, health days and full medical will continue to dry up over the next few years. I suspect OP's employer was rather taken aback when they hire her for fulltime work and she gets pregnant a month or two later. Although the employer can't say anything, it doesn't make anyone feel very kindly towards that employee - especially in the high-end professional world where you are expected to carry a lot of work. In the private sector, if an employee is thinking of leaving or has lined up a new job, the employee usually takes a vacation to use up all the vacation days, returns, waits a week or so and then gives notice. It sucks and the employer is not thrilled but that's usually the way one does it providing they have a new job in hand and don't have to worry about reference. Also, in the private sector, unused pay and sick days are usually not convertable into vacation days. Fed. Government, yes. Private sector, usually no. So private sector usually line up the next job, take their vacation, come back and give a reasonable notice.

Based upon OP's subject matter line, I think OP is litigious. Husband can "attain" any lawyers he likes but I certainly wouldn't take this case on - especially since I can't get the facts straight. That's always a red flag.

OP, I think they are showing you the door. Take it. Be gracious. Try to get on your husband's plan (if married) ASAP. COBRA out, but watch that deadline - it will expire or the amount will suddenly jump after 9 months, I can't remember which. COBRA used to be 9 months and was set up by Congress as a temporary vehicle to help the employee during a time when they might be searching for a new job. But it can get very expensive.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If I ever had a co-worker or employee want to take a month off before having the baby, I would have been flabbergasted. That's completely insensitive, thoughtless and unprofessional. That last month is making sure everything is complete, to make your co-workers burden LESS when you are gone. If you do this and then resign, I would not expect a good reference!!

Sorry you feel this way, but I have seen many expecting mothers take time off prior to giving birth. Perhaps we work in different worlds. Also, I have to resign. What do you want from me? To take off one week, give birth, and come back to work? Are you crazy?

This is my baby. It's 10x more important than co-workers. Sorry.

Baby, yes - more important. Using up your vacation before maternity or resignation? Inconsiderate. Taking a month off is a huge deal. We have people who do it to travel to their home country or take a great vacation. They would never take 4 weeks off before taking another 3 months off to take care if an actual baby. It is clear you don't value this job or have any kind of work ethic. Good luck as a mom though!

Anonymous wrote:OP,

Welcome to the culture at most workplaces!

All these people have excoriated you because they think everyone's first loyalty should be to their job (also many of them cannot read). And in many places, if you want to keep your job and advance your career, they are right, unfortunately.

I'm sorry that HR has treated you so badly. Personally I would go up and ASK them why they changed their minds. I would actually tell them, very calmly, that I had made plans based on their first recommendations and that now I have to scramble to change plans, and that I feel I have been treated unfairly. It will make them feel uncomfortable, which is the least they deserve and the most you can do to them.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have never seen a pregnant woman work until she was due - never. And I've known at least 7-8 women who have given birth in the last two years.

Really? You don't seem to appreciate what an incredible luxury it is to have the ability to take as much maternity leave as you want and to get paid time off as well. Most women I know can't afford to take three months off and can only get 4 to 8 weeks paid, or partially paid. As for taking off BEFORE the baby is born, I've never heard of anyone using their leave time to "get ready"--everyone saves it for maternity leave or for all the days you will inevitably take once you have a newborn. My first was two weeks late and I worked up until the day before I was induced. I went into the office for a week and a half past my due date, then worked at home the last few. I would have been bored out of my effing skull, sitting around at home.

Anonymous wrote:I have never seen a pregnant woman work until she was due - never. And I've known at least 7-8 women who have given birth in the last two years.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I suspect HR was quite clear on what the rules were (and no one ever accumulates 6 weeks of vacation in the first year of work - two weeks? Maybe but only after serving a requisite no. of months). Even in the very finest law firms I worked in, professionals got two weeks only after serving a full year. Never six weeks. OP's story just doesn't hang together. OP wants to have her cake but eat it too. If I were management, I would want to show her the door and fast. I don't like employees who try to buck the system. For awhile I believed that an HR rep. may have told her incorrect information By page 4 I am starting to think she is actively misrepresenting that initial meeting. I hope it is not too late to transfer her and the baby to husband's policy. Cobra is fine but VERY expensive and of course, ends.

HR professional again.

Her loss of benefits through her current employer will trigger a "Qualifying Life Event" for her and her spouse, meaning her can immediately add her to his insurance, as long as they are married and depending on the policies of his employer. I'm not sure why she would need COBRA unless her husband has terrible benefits or they are not really married.

Anonymous wrote:I suspect HR was quite clear on what the rules were (and no one ever accumulates 6 weeks of vacation in the first year of work - two weeks? Maybe but only after serving a requisite no. of months). Even in the very finest law firms I worked in, professionals got two weeks only after serving a full year. Never six weeks. OP's story just doesn't hang together. OP wants to have her cake but eat it too. If I were management, I would want to show her the door and fast. I don't like employees who try to buck the system. For awhile I believed that an HR rep. may have told her incorrect information By page 4 I am starting to think she is actively misrepresenting that initial meeting. I hope it is not too late to transfer her and the baby to husband's policy. Cobra is fine but VERY expensive and of course, ends.