Anonymous wrote:

I don't want to discourage DS from being affectionate because he really means this as a sign of love for the dog, nothing abusive. But I will work with him on understanding that dogs don't like to be hugged.

It's obvious you're a FTM. Your DS doesn't need to understand dogs don't like to be hugged. He need to understand that he can't hug dogs - period. Prohibiting him (not 'discouraging') him from hugging the dog will in no way reduce his affection, it's establishing healthy boundaries.

WTF? Do you also try and get your kid to 'understand' he should be grateful so he'll say thank you? No! You make your kid say 'thank you' because that's what they're supposed to do. Understanding comes when the kid is developmentally capable of understanding. This is no different.

Yeah, OP you contradict yourself a bit too much.

You flat out say that you don't think your husband likes the dog, but then try to reassure everyone that your dog is a loved part of the family.

Anonymous wrote:

I don't want to discourage DS from being affectionate because he really means this as a sign of love for the dog, nothing abusive. But I will work with him on understanding that dogs don't like to be hugged.

It's obvious you're a FTM. Your DS doesn't need to understand dogs don't like to be hugged. He need to understand that he can't hug dogs - period. Prohibiting him (not 'discouraging') him from hugging the dog will in no way reduce his affection, it's establishing healthy boundaries.

+1
And it will be that much easier when you are dealing with other dogs that are not your own if these rules are enforced in your home all the time. My grandma has yappy annoying dog and she tells my kids to pull his tail or poke him because he won't bite or get upset. Obviously we do not allow that because, even if it were true for this one particular dog, it is not the precedent that I want to set for my kids' relationships with other dogs.

I don't want to discourage DS from being affectionate because he really means this as a sign of love for the dog, nothing abusive. But I will work with him on understanding that dogs don't like to be hugged.

It's obvious you're a FTM. Your DS doesn't need to understand dogs don't like to be hugged. He need to understand that he can't hug dogs - period. Prohibiting him (not 'discouraging') him from hugging the dog will in no way reduce his affection, it's establishing healthy boundaries.

OP again. I should add that part of the confusion for us, I think, is that our dog (as a Border Collie) is very physical in affection. He likes to sit on your foot, lean on your leg, stand right in front of you as you walk by, etc. He intentionally puts himself in your way sometimes for attention. Sometimes he will lay right in front of the fence gate while you open and close it over the top of his head, not feeling it necessary to move (not being aggressive -- just totally unconcerned).

When you pet him on the floor, he wants to sit in your lap practically. As a result, I've been somewhat less concerned about DS being a bit physical in his affect for the dog -- i.e. hugging, sitting really close, etc. I can see now, though, that the dog likes to do this with adults, not with young kids.

I will also agree wholeheartedly with the PP who said Border Collies sometimes treat kids like sheep and nip. He is absolutely like this occasionally with us -- when he gets excited or wants to play, he does nip in a friendly way, as I have experienced with other herding dogs.

OP here. Thanks for all of the comments -- this has been an interesting and useful read for me.

We took DS to the doctor today, and she showed no concern regarding the situation at all -- in fact, she barely even looked at his head and said it looked like barely a nip. This relieved me a little (and the fact that this morning I look at his head and felt he just had two tiny scratches). It convinced me that I was right in feeling that it was not a super serious situation that requires rehoming.

I do want to thank all the PPs who noted that we need to be more careful and allow our DS to do less to our dog. I think perhaps I made it sound worse than it really is -- in reality, we always stop our son if he gets too excited and moves from petting to trying to hit the dog. When he has hit the dog with a toy, we take the toy away immediately and tell him no. If the dog appears irritated, we always put him outside (where he likes to be, so it's not a punishment for the dog).

Our toddler wants to play with the dog, and he wants the dog to chase him. We weren't exactly encouraging him to chase the dog with a push toy, but DH and DS were riding together on one, and the dog got in front of them. Since DS wants to play with our dog and our dog doesn't play much (seriously, won't put a ball in his mouth), DH thought it might be fun to follow him with the push toy. I personally would not have done this, and I agree that it was a mistake. Unfortunately, DH and I have disagreed on things regarding the dog in the past. Honestly, DH does not much like our dog, although he would never intentionally hurt him or let him get hurt. But I do think that DH's inexperience with dogs leads him to sometimes do things that I consider questionable (like the push toy). Hopefully this has been a reminder to him. I know that it will result in a fight if I try to note that it was somehow his fault as much as the dog's.

Anyway, I am not trying to excuse my own part in this. When he has done things I don't approve of with the dog, I have treated him like I do when he does these things to other kids -- I try to gently discourage him but recognize that he's too young to fully understand. Yes, he knows he shouldn't poke the dog's eye and that he'll get yelled at if he tries to, but he's a toddler, and he sometimes wants to test the limits. I think what I need to do is just recognize that the dog isn't another toddler and it's more serious if he gets angry because DS does something inappropriate.

I can see how others think that we are being cruel to the dog, but I think you are misreading the true situation (hard to explain in a forum vs. being there). Our dog is a loved part of our family, and his favorite thing to do is to be a part of what we are doing. As a result, we've considered it to be something he wants when we are all around, playing together. Yes, DS does get a little rough sometimes, but we stop him when he does. I may have made a mistake in thinking the hugging wasn't a big deal. It's not aggressive hugging and is when DS is right next to the dog in a sitting position, like he would hug a friend. I don't want to discourage DS from being affectionate because he really means this as a sign of love for the dog, nothing abusive. But I will work with him on understanding that dogs don't like to be hugged.

Thanks so everyone!

OP is teaching the DC to be abusive towards dogs. Even if she gets rid of the dog, the child is in danger because it had learned to "play" roughly with dogs. If your child tries this on a different dog (neighbor, friend, stranger's dog being walked in public), it could be a disaster. The child needs to learn how to interact correctly with dogs. In the meantime, OP should keep her child away from all other dogs until the child is taught how to behave appropriately, for both the child's sake and the dog's sake.

Do you let your kid bite people, poke them in the eye, and hit them? You dog isn't aggressive, but your kid is. The dog was trying to defend itself. Poor thing!

Contact one of the animal shelters to see if they have a class about how to teach children to interact with pets. You are failing as a parent and pet owner if you let your kid continue to abuse the dog.

Supervise your child!your poor dog io would have bitten your kid too! Why would you let your kid chase the dog with a truck?

Idiot.

GET RID OF THE DOG!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOW! It doesn't matter why the dog bit him. It only matters that the dog DID bite him. The next time the dog will bite off his face.