Trade off. One week, you make the meal from scratch and grill. Next week, in-laws do the entire meal, including sides.

Anonymous wrote:I would let him cook. I would also keep an eye on the state of the food, and when you see the stuff that is about where you would like it say "hey, dad, that looks good for me. I'm just not as fond of the char -- can you take some off for me now?"

+1 This happened to ourvsteaks this weekend. I almost couldnt chew it. Next time, I will monitor the meat.

Aaiighht--

1. Here's your cooking challenge for the summer: figure out a FIL-proof burger recipe that's "fancy" enough for your MIL and that your FIL can't screw up. That's a culinary project all in itself. Start with Cooks Illustrated, then keep researching and experimenting. There's gotta be a burger blend that's more forgiving than plain beef, and yummy even if moderately hacked.
2. Once you conquer that, move on to a FIL-proof chicken marinade. Or finding really tasty sausages that are good even with a little char. (For those, if they're raw, pre-cook them in the microwave before FIL arrives, so he won't be able to serve them charred on the outside and undercooked in the middle. Pre-warmed in the microwave, right before he gets there, they'll just look like other processed sausages instead of raw.)
3. Stop with other efforts at fancy grilling. No sense wasting fancy preps and marinades, and then spending energy feeling bad about them. Keep it simple, and let the man grill.
4. Put your energies into the sides and desserts. Impress MIL, and get out your inner Martha, with those.
5. DH's relationship with his parents, manifesting itself with food, is a separate thread entirely. See the Relationships, Non-Explicit forum. Be prepared for opinions involving therapy.
6. Cook for people other than your ILs, for crying out loud. They can't have a monopoly on every single summer grilling weekend, can they? Have some friends over and wow them with your skills. If the ILs come every weekend, have them on Friday, and save your fancy prep for having your friends over on Saturday or Sunday.
7. Get a gas grill. Don't wait till you're "ready"--you need it now. The temp's a lot easier to control than a charcoal grill. (Unless FIL is really into "cooking over fire," in which case he'll make a stink about it and use the Weber anyway.) If he'd cook on gas, get one. Get one big enough that you can have a hot side and a cool side, so when things get out of control over the hot you can sling meat over to the cool side to get it out of trouble or let it stay warm till serving.

Hang in there.

Maybe you can start cooking the stuff you like first and keep it warm in the oven. Then give FIL some hot dogs and chicken legs to ruin and eat on his own.