I would take some time to chat up this counselor and get to know her a little bit. I would be wary, too, but I associate tatoos with people in my past I don't want to deal with. Lazy people, people who spend way too much money on stuff I see no value in, people who have their priorities in the wrong place. She probably isn't that kind of person, which is why I'd take some time to talk to her. DH always says to give people room to surprise you.

Anonymous wrote:OP, I had a very very liberal upbringing. I'm no stranger to tats, piercings, etc. When we were touring preschools, one we were considering had a teacher who had outlandish tattoos all over her arms and her neck. I didn't feel like it was the forum for these types of tattoos, especially in preschool. Needless to say we chose another school. All this to say you know your children best and should use your maternal instinct. If you don't feel comfortable then request a different counselor.

You chose another school JUST because one person had a lot of tattoos? Or, what do you mean by outlandish? Did they clearly say something about her that would make her a bad caregiver (I mean, like swastikas and beheaded animals)?

If it was just tattoos, it seems like very bad judgement on your part.

Hey. Those outlandish tattoos didn't hurt the Birdman. Seeing them isn't going to hurt your son.

Anonymous wrote:I request camp counselors that have all of their teeth. I don't want my child to get the impression that its ok to not brush and floss. It's just unacceptable and I don't want my child to be influenced by that.

Ah, levity. Thank god!

OP, I get it. I'm old enough to remember when only lowlifes and sailors got tatoos. DH, who is older than me, still recoils when he sees tatoos on folks. The fact is that aesthetics change, and what once seemed trashy or at least edgy is now seen as pretty mainstream. I work with a lot of adults who are milennials, and they will tell you that tatoos are no big deal. What can you do? Times change and I think we need to change with them.

I request camp counselors that have all of their teeth. I don't want my child to get the impression that its ok to not brush and floss. It's just unacceptable and I don't want my child to be influenced by that.

Anonymous wrote:OP here - Thank you 12:30 - I don't feed the trolls. I asked for opinions because I don't know and not sure what track to be on.

. . . As AA these tat's will cause this young man problems and that is not for me to tell him but for my son I have to let him know this would be a problem . . .

Honestly, I wouldn't push the "son, your dad and I have a problem with tattoos" attitude, which seems to be what you are saying. Whenever my parents took that attitude with me, I ignored them or did whatever they told me not to do just to rebel. If your son starts indicating that he is interested in tattoos, ask the counselor to talk to your son honestly about what consequences the tattoos have had for him as a young AA man. If the counselor is worthy of mentoring your son, he'll have a lot of insightful comments. "BTDT" advice is more likely to discourage your son from getting tattoos than anything you could say.

Anonymous wrote:In my experience people with extensive tattoing (that shows on the neckk, face, hands, etc) who have tattoed a great percentage of their bodies have often been part of drug and/or crime and/or rebellious cultures and/or mental health issues or other subcultures at some point in their life.

It is often those earlier experiences however that make people great counselors. They can understand the kid who is acting out and who is struggling to connect. They get the difficulties with emotional regulation, the poor impulse control and the poor decision making. People who have come out the other side and have learned how to deal with this in healthy ways can be fantastic mentors and rally able ot relate to kids. Kids may also trust them more and learn more from them as they see the mentor as someone who 'gets it'.

So I disagree with others that say that full body tattoing is a common, mainstream thing that has no meaning other than body art but also disagree with you that this has any negative impact on the counselor's ability to meet your son's needs.

Your experience is not universal. I'm the PP with large tattoos who works in a professional office environment. I do not have a history of drug use, mental health issues or overly rebellious behavior. My tattoos are things I drew myself, and my parents know about all of them. They also know why I chose the things I chose, what they symbolize to me, how I paid for them, etc. Obviously this is not true of all tattoos, but to the people asking if I would find it problematic for my teenager to come home with tattoos, no, I would not find it problematic necessarily. I would want to hear their reasoning for the particular design, and I'd also be concerned that they get the work done at a studio with a good reputation for health and safety. The only thing worse than a badly thought out poorly designed tattoo is one that also gets infected.

I think that your assumption that body art is not common is a little bit flawed as well. Edgy image decisions have come a long way since I was in my late teens/early 20s. Our office administrator has a nose ring. Many of the attorneys here have tattoos. Granted, none of them have massive tattoos on their faces or forearms or whatever, but it's not like people with jewelry in their face or body and tattoos in various places are 100% relegated to working in bars or auto body shops anymore. Many of us also have advanced degrees and work in offices.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I had a very very liberal upbringing. I'm no stranger to tats, piercings, etc. When we were touring preschools, one we were considering had a teacher who had outlandish tattoos all over her arms and her neck. I didn't feel like it was the forum for these types of tattoos, especially in preschool. Needless to say we chose another school. All this to say you know your children best and should use your maternal instinct. If you don't feel comfortable then request a different counselor.

Squeaky clean preschool teachers are easy to find. Squeaky clean camp counselors to work at summer camps for behaviorally challenged school aged children? Harder. People who are willing to work with tough kids are often more colorful/non-traditional than those willing to work in a preschool setting with "typical" kids. Just a fact of life.

Actually I work with this population and I'm about as squeaky clean as you can get. As are everyone who works with me. NOT a fact of life.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I assume all of you open-minded lovelies would not mind at all if your snowflakes got tatted up late in high school--sleeves, up the neck, all over the body? Seriously? OK, now is the part where you admit that it is beneath your class, but should not be looked down upon by OP.

This is about not judging others. A lesson you could use given your comments above.

OK, so no judgment from you for your 18 year old daughter if she comes home covered in tattoos? More importantly, no judgment for yourself as a parent if that's what happens when she turns 18? C'mon now. You've definitely messed up somewhere along the line if that happens. This is not exactly what kids headed off to Middlebury in the fall do the summer after high school graduation. I agree that OP should be kind to the camp counselor and give him the benefit of the doubt, but let's all agree that this is not a choice we want being made by our own children as a way of understanding where OP is coming from.

Sure - why do you think these two things are incompatible?

Anonymous wrote:OP, I had a very very liberal upbringing. I'm no stranger to tats, piercings, etc. When we were touring preschools, one we were considering had a teacher who had outlandish tattoos all over her arms and her neck. I didn't feel like it was the forum for these types of tattoos, especially in preschool. Needless to say we chose another school. All this to say you know your children best and should use your maternal instinct. If you don't feel comfortable then request a different counselor.

Squeaky clean preschool teachers are easy to find. Squeaky clean camp counselors to work at summer camps for behaviorally challenged school aged children? Harder. People who are willing to work with tough kids are often more colorful/non-traditional than those willing to work in a preschool setting with "typical" kids. Just a fact of life.

Coming from a heavily tattooed person, I would have to say, that heavily tattooed people (professionals, not gang-bangers, etc.) will be the first to heavily stress to young children about waiting until they are older to get tattoos, if they want them. This being because a LOT of us got really crappy, un-thought out tattoos when we were younger, and regretted them. I love my good tattoos, but I got some really crappy ones when I was younger. My husband too. A lot of people ask us, oh, are you going to let your kids get tattoos too? Our kids will be absolutely forbidden to get tattoos until they are adults (and we can't stop them). But we are still going to stress that they wait much longer than that, and seriously contemplate any tattoo before making that step, and to think 20 years down the road whether they will still like the tattoo.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I assume all of you open-minded lovelies would not mind at all if your snowflakes got tatted up late in high school--sleeves, up the neck, all over the body? Seriously? OK, now is the part where you admit that it is beneath your class, but should not be looked down upon by OP.

This is about not judging others. A lesson you could use given your comments above.

OK, so no judgment from you for your 18 year old daughter if she comes home covered in tattoos? More importantly, no judgment for yourself as a parent if that's what happens when she turns 18? C'mon now. You've definitely messed up somewhere along the line if that happens. This is not exactly what kids headed off to Middlebury in the fall do the summer after high school graduation. I agree that OP should be kind to the camp counselor and give him the benefit of the doubt, but let's all agree that this is not a choice we want being made by our own children as a way of understanding where OP is coming from.

Honestly, I'd be a little pleased, if worried about future employers and the like. I've always been too chicken to do it, but I hope DD goes her own way. Now, if she gets the tattoo in prison and they feature a confederate flag and some teardrops on her face, that's another matter. But I am really awed by good ink and I have friends with amazing tattoos.

NP here. I think tattoos are utterly disgusting and I am totally against them. That being said, I still would have no problem with this. I may not like them but I still would never discriminate against someone who has them nor think it reflects on the person they are.

OP, I had a very very liberal upbringing. I'm no stranger to tats, piercings, etc. When we were touring preschools, one we were considering had a teacher who had outlandish tattoos all over her arms and her neck. I didn't feel like it was the forum for these types of tattoos, especially in preschool. Needless to say we chose another school. All this to say you know your children best and should use your maternal instinct. If you don't feel comfortable then request a different counselor.