I'd have no problem being on the receiving end of a mail like this. I don't have a pool membership but I don't see why someone else should pay for me to use the pool if I want to join them there. NBD.

I think it's rude on the one hand but depends on the relationship. If it's something that will be reciprocated by the friend then I have no problem paying for friends. Not that everything has to be tallied, but I hate being taken advantage of.

It's kind of like going to lunch with a friend. Sometimes I pay, sometimes she pays, other times we go Dutch. With her, it all comes out in the wash but if it's with someone from DCs class that is merely an acquaintance, I may not want to pay only because we live on a tight budget.

Anonymous wrote:If I was the person invited and I didn't pay the admission fee, I would just buy snacks and treats for everyone.

Now, as the invited guest I will sound cheap, but I went with our friends to the pool and snacks are outrageous! I'd rather pay the admission, which is $20, than for snacks/lunch, which is $30-50.

Anonymous wrote:I think it's rude. $15 in the grand scheme of things...

Says someone who has never thought about money.

I agree that it is rude. I would never invite a friend and then tell them to pay the fee. In fact, I'd say the most rude part of the situation is that you TELL your friend that they must pay if they want to come b/c this denies your friend the opportunity to OFFER to pay. I bet your friend would have offered to pay but now you have created an awkward situation by telling her she has to pay. Yuck all around.
Just don't invite anyone if you're going to do this.

We have several friends with pool memberships and I NEVER expect them to pay when they invite us. We are too cheap/poor to buy our own membership and it's awesome to take advantage of theirs once in a while.

If I was the person invited and I didn't pay the admission fee, I would just buy snacks and treats for everyone.

We always pay for the guests, because I feel like I should (it's really no more complicated than that). However, I have never - not once - had a guest not offer to pay. Half the time, they get really irritated that we pay. This is not something to get exercised about - do what works for you and your friends, and what your finances permit.

Anonymous wrote:S/O -- you host a team party. Do you ask your guests to pay? You're the host by virtue of the fact that you're the only one with a pool membership.

We just asked everyone to kick in $20 and had that cover food/admission/expenses for the party. Is that cool? Or should we have just eaten the cost?

You probably have a good sense of the SES of the teammates but I'd be wary of having a team party where everyone had to pay to get in.

Anonymous wrote:I usually pick up the tab for my guests. NO big deal.

Good for you (polite clap). For many of us, paying $5 per guest week in and week out would add up very quickly. I have a pool membership, it doesn't mean I'm rich. Fortunately, I have several friends who are delighted to join me and my family at the pool and do not expect me to foot the bill (i.e., they aren't mooches).

I am on waiting lists and would love to go to the pool, even if I must pay. I don't care! People who are offended are uppity and assume everyone has money for everything. I don't assume that people are of the same financial means or that they want to pay for me if I can clearly pay. Typically, when I am invited I always offer to pay or at least buy food for everyone. People need to lighten up!

Anonymous wrote:Yes.

It is not an invitation if your guest has to pay.

So if I invite you to join me for dinner at a restaurant (we're friends, it's NOT a date), you'd expect me to pick up the tab?

Yes.

It is not an invitation if your guest has to pay.

I usually pick up the tab for my guests. NO big deal.

As someone with no pool membership who loves going swimming, I disagree that it is rude. I would love to be able to pay fifteen dollars to go to a nice pool. You pay a lot for the membership every year, so I am still getting a good deal by paying for the pass.