I call MIL by her first name. I have a mom. I do not need/want a second one. I feel it's more respectful of me to use her first name than to fake using "mom" with her. I do call her what the kids call her when they are around.

Mrs. T______. My MIL is an angel.

Anonymous wrote:I bet it's a cultural thing. I'm Chinese and I call her mom.

I'm as white-bred as they come, and I call my mother in law Mamma (I call my own mother, Mom).

For all the folks who say, 'you already have a mom' - for me, and I dont' project this onto anyone else, but for me I now have two moms. My mother in law won't ever replace my mom, but she is also like a mother to me.

I called her "Aunty" as is common in our culture while I was engaged to her son. She asked me to call her "Mummy" after I got married because as she said to me I was now a part of the family.

I call my mom "mummy" too, so I did feel a little strange calling someone else "mummy", but now I am used to it. My husband also calls my mom "mummy" and my dad "papa' just like I do.

Why is this such a big deal? Let those who are elder to you tell you what they want you to call them. As long as you cal them what they want you to call them, you are being respectful.

Anonymous wrote:Mrs. Bernstein.

When DH first introduced me, he said, "This is my mom, Gloria..." and she immediately said, "You may call me Mrs. Bernstein." So I did.

After the wedding DH made a joke about me calling her mom and Ole Glory said, "Only people in my uterus call me Mom." So I call her Mrs. Bernstein and try to say it a lot in front of others so that they'll ask "Why do you call her that?" and then I can say "Because that's what she wants, and I respect her wishes" and it reflects poorly on her, not me.

Mrs. Gloria Bernstein is her real name, isn't it?

Cold and does not care who knows it = Mrs. so-and-so

Cold and cares who knows it or warm and does not: first Name

Warm and does not care who knows it: Mom

I want to be the last one some day. I want my DIL to respect me as my own daughter would.

Anonymous wrote:Mrs. Bernstein.

When DH first introduced me, he said, "This is my mom, Gloria..." and she immediately said, "You may call me Mrs. Bernstein." So I did.

After the wedding DH made a joke about me calling her mom and Ole Glory said, "Only people in my uterus call me Mom." So I call her Mrs. Bernstein and try to say it a lot in front of others so that they'll ask "Why do you call her that?" and then I can say "Because that's what she wants, and I respect her wishes" and it reflects poorly on her, not me.

This is a great idea! Ny MIL prefers MrsLastName, too, so I just don't call her anything. Now that we have a child, I will use her grandma name once in a while, but usually I don't use a name with her.

I call my MIL "Mom".

Mrs. Bernstein.

When DH first introduced me, he said, "This is my mom, Gloria..." and she immediately said, "You may call me Mrs. Bernstein." So I did.

After the wedding DH made a joke about me calling her mom and Ole Glory said, "Only people in my uterus call me Mom." So I call her Mrs. Bernstein and try to say it a lot in front of others so that they'll ask "Why do you call her that?" and then I can say "Because that's what she wants, and I respect her wishes" and it reflects poorly on her, not me.

Fuck face .

I like to call my MIL a Pain in the @ss!

First name only for her.

First name. She died in September. I now regret not calling her Mom. She and I were very close.

My mom also died last year. I'm terribly sad she's gone -- she was in hospice care and we had lots of opportunities to talk about our stormy relationship over the years. The truth was she was an alcoholic and never really there for me. After cancer surgery, she stopped drinking and had Vicodin for lunch and Percoset for dinner. She changed one addiction for another. She really wasn't there for me. I was just trying to survive in an alcoholic household. I'm glad we got to reconcile some of our differences.

But in the twenty years I knew my MIL, she cared about me more than my mother did. It is sad but true.

Love my MIL, but would only call my step mother in law a taxi as anytime she visits I'm counting the hours until she leaves.

Mom, from a twenty-something. I'm pretty sure DH wife calls her by her first name. They truly treat me like a daughter, we have a great relationship.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have never gotten this "call your MIL 'Mom' " thing. If your spouse is their child and you are their 'child', then it seems incestuous to be sleeping with someone who has the same mom as you, KWIM?

You've got some hang-ups if you're thinking like this.

I call my MIL "Mom" because she's a mom to me, and she loves me like her daughter.

I guess your own mom wasn't good enough that you had to go find a replacement mom.