07:56 again-
The decision to go back to school should be based on REAL numbers. What degree, what is the tuition and living expenses, can he get any scholarships and not loans, can he work while he goes to school, what is the projected starting salary AFTER school and five years after graduating, what will the loan payment be...
I have a feeling once you answer all those questions, the answer is he should not go back to school right now.

I worked my tail off at jobs I wasn't 100% in love with and paid them all off in 6 years. I didn't go out and buy a fancy car or clothes, etc. I put it all towards paying the loans,because it was my duty, my obligation. It never would have occurred to me that I should find a way to not pay them. your boyfriend needs someone to slap him and say snap out of it. this to me is part of the problem with millenniums, it is like they don't want to work for all the glory, they are waiting for publishers clearinghouse to knock on their door and say you've won this great perfect easy job that pays all the money in the world for no effort, you deserve it, you're perfect.

There does seem to be a disconnect. We have done a disservice to our children (and ultimately our society) by creating a generation that has no work ethic, unrealistic expectations and delusions of grandeur.

OP, I am a poster with a lot of student debt in a not-that-great-paying field. I have both private and federal loans. Here's my advice:

1. You CAN consolidate private loans with Sallie Mae. If he has multiple private loans they can be consolidated into one. You can only do this ONE TIME in the entirety of the life of the loan- and since interest rates are at their lowest point this is a good time to do that.

2. That said, your fiance needs a second job. You both need to sit down and crunch the budget numbers. He needs to call Sallie Mae and find out if he can extend the terms of the loan (whether he has a 10 yr or a 30 yr loan term makes a big difference for the amount of the monthly payment). Consolidate to one fixed rate loan at the longest term so that the payment can be the lowest. Sallie Mae will not want to do this- you will have to talk to them over and over and go higher and higher in the proverbial food chain. But they will do it. I've been there done that.

3. You both could stand to make more in terms of salary. 30k is nothing, and 40k isn't much better. You need to revamp those resumes- recognize that a higher salary is the point- and get out there interviewing. A 15-30k jump in salary for either of you is not crazy, and would change your life. It may take some job moves, but you can do it.

4. You said the word "fiance" meaning you're engaged and possibly planning a wedding. Now, I am not going to say this because I don't think you should stay with him- but you need to scratch out the wedding for a few years until you're on financially firmer ground. If you're really dying to get married- pay a celebrant to come to a park for $200 and marry you. DO NOT spend thousands on a wedding.

5. Along the same lines- you need to cut the lifestyle to nothing. Studio apartment, no cable, no eating out, etc. I am not religious, but I do listen to Dave Ramsey- and he has some excellent points. Cutting the budget, maybe start a side business on Etsy, and pay those loans like your ass is on fire. It is.

Good luck, OP!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It isn't a horrible idea to go back to school. Many loans are in forbearance while in school. He may not have to make any payments if he is in school again.

... while the interest continues to accrue...

Yeah. Is this pp really suggesting to go back to school to incur more debt as a means of avoiding paying the six figures of debt he already has? Oy.

Anonymous wrote:Alright, I am a perpetual worrier. My fiance has $100k in student loans. I make $40k, he makes $30k. We're in MA. He is in the medical field, not using his degree.
I think 10% of those loans are federal and the rest is Sallie Mae. He can't keep up with the payments. He has used all his forebearances. He will be late on a payment, get a zillion calls from them, somehow scrounge up the money, then the cycle continues. It's $600+/month that he just can't afford. I pay a higher portion of our rent/bills (because I make a little more and have less expenses than him), but not a huge difference.
He wants to go back to school (to be an NP or PA), in a year, which of course will require more loans.
It's hard to discuss with him because I don't really have any good advice for him, nor do I have the practical answer ($$$). Honestly, if I had the money, I would of course help him out until he got back on his feet (as I know he would with me).

Neither of us want him to default - especially if he'll need more loans in the future. I have excellent credit, no student loans- just a car loan w/ 2 years left.

What can I do? I know it's not technically my responsibility, but any advice? Any sites you can lead me to? I'd like to point him in a direction he hasn't explored yet.

Also, if he DID default- what does that even mean? What are the consequences?

RUN!!!

Anonymous wrote:It isn't a horrible idea to go back to school. Many loans are in forbearance while in school. He may not have to make any payments if he is in school again.

... while the interest continues to accrue...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you telling me he doesn't have a clue about how much he took out in federal and private loans. He would only have resorted to private loans if he (/parents) made too much to qualify for federal or he maxed out at what 48k?

OP, he really should understand every aspect about his loans before going down the default road. Why does it seem that you are doing all the research for him?

There's something about this relationship that seems very codependent. Have the two of you attended any premarital sessions if not, you really should this kind of thing and children/childcare issues really need to be discussed before you decide to commit to each other.

REally they have relationship issues? You are so crazy!

This shit is going on everywhere everyday. Kids are just getting more degrees and taking on more debt and then thinking what the fuck did I do.

How the fuck am I the crazy one? What did he spend $100k on an undergrad degree in something frivolous major at some shitty school? The majority of Kids aren't trying to weasel out of repaying their loans. I can name five who are working extra jobs or in programs to pay them off or get them forgiven. They at least left college with math skills. Everyone isn't viewing default as a viable option.

Can't fathom why OP's man would even be thinking about getting married right now any way considering that he's still a Kid.

20 somethings are kids...WTF...most people have this idea they are going to somehow make money after they graduate or even find work. I am thankful he got his degree. On this site everyone seems to be making a killing! This was just an ignorant comment. They will get it together...she is just a concerned girlfriend. And BTW...most guys don't have a clue about squat. Women know everything!

I know two 20 somethings straight out of college who found full-time jobs and they also work part-time jobs. They have roommates and take public transportation.

"You are thankful he got his degree." Who the fuck are you and how are you so certain they will get it together? Girlfriend is already covering the bulk of their household bills. OP, is scared with this huge, red flag waving in her face. She knows that her fiancee's situation will land her in a hot mess.

Would he even qualify for any loans with what he has outstanding? Isn't there a limit at some point? Does he think money just grows on trees? He is entitled to free education? I don't get young people. I am 40 so I guess generation x. I had over $100,000 in undergrad and law school loans. I worked my tail off at jobs I wasn't 100% in love with and paid them all off in 6 years. I didn't go out and buy a fancy car or clothes, etc. I put it all towards paying the loans,because it was my duty, my obligation. It never would have occurred to me that I should find a way to not pay them. your boyfriend needs someone to slap him and say snap out of it. this to me is part of the problem with millenniums, it is like they don't want to work for all the glory, they are waiting for publishers clearinghouse to knock on their door and say you've won this great perfect easy job that pays all the money in the world for no effort, you deserve it, you're perfect.

Anonymous wrote:OP again. To answer a few questions. No, we will not leave the country. No, his parent didn't co-sign.
Wedding won't be for at least a couple years, and money will definitely factor into possibly waiting even later than that. Kids are not on my/our radar right now.
He absolutely needs a second job. I don't want to give details here of what his degree was in and what his job is now. But, he has a BA and a masters from a state school, with a lot of relevant experience using those degrees (internships and teaching), but ultimately chose to work somewhere in a somewhat entry-level position that pertains to what he wants to go back to school for. Sorry to be so obscure about it- I already feel bad airing our dirty laundry on DCUM.
I know there's a few factors here. Including aspects of our personalities, past relationship issues, current relationship dynamics, mismatched finances etc-- that could be a few different posts so I'll spare you.
It's clear we need to talk.

I just also want you to know....you are thinking way too much about the future. I don't think I would dump a guy for going to school and taking on student loan debt. UMMMMMMMMMMMM that is what everyone does. But I would dump him if he didn't want to work two jobs to make ends meat. I hate a lazy guy. But really...you are just thinking too much. You are not going to make some big salary right out of school. It just doesn't work like that for most people and DC does not pay for entry level positions fresh out of school. I know a lot of people making $30K to $35K, especially if you don't have a technical degree. So he just has to work and work and work. OR join the military!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you telling me he doesn't have a clue about how much he took out in federal and private loans. He would only have resorted to private loans if he (/parents) made too much to qualify for federal or he maxed out at what 48k?

OP, he really should understand every aspect about his loans before going down the default road. Why does it seem that you are doing all the research for him?

There's something about this relationship that seems very codependent. Have the two of you attended any premarital sessions if not, you really should this kind of thing and children/childcare issues really need to be discussed before you decide to commit to each other.

REally they have relationship issues? You are so crazy!

This shit is going on everywhere everyday. Kids are just getting more degrees and taking on more debt and then thinking what the fuck did I do.

How the fuck am I the crazy one? What did he spend $100k on an undergrad degree in something frivolous major at some shitty school? The majority of Kids aren't trying to weasel out of repaying their loans. I can name five who are working extra jobs or in programs to pay them off or get them forgiven. They at least left college with math skills. Everyone isn't viewing default as a viable option.

Can't fathom why OP's man would even be thinking about getting married right now any way considering that he's still a Kid.

20 somethings are kids...WTF...most people have this idea they are going to somehow make money after they graduate or even find work. I am thankful he got his degree. On this site everyone seems to be making a killing! This was just an ignorant comment. They will get it together...she is just a concerned girlfriend. And BTW...most guys don't have a clue about squat. Women know everything!

It isn't a horrible idea to go back to school. Many loans are in forbearance while in school. He may not have to make any payments if he is in school again. This would keep him from defaulting. He could take out only federal loans for the school and pay the rest of the tuition along the way. When he is done, he could get a job in the public sector with income based payments and/or loan forgiveness. He really needs to figure out how much his loans are federal and how much are private.

It's fine not to use your degree. Really, people change their minds. But then you really shouldn't be planning to take out more loans to go back to school, while being unable to pay your current loans. You pay off your old loans, then you decide whether it makes sense to take out more.

Or crab fishing in alaska.

I'd tell him to sell everything he owns. Buy an old van or pickup truck with a camper that he can live in. Drive up to North Dakota. Work his butt off for 2-3 years in as many jobs as he can get. The fracking shale oil boom is so huge in North Dakota that even McDonald's has to pay $15/hr for workers. In 2-3 years, he will have made enough money to pay off his student loans, and can start whatever new career he wants. He might even develop a work ethic while he's there.

It is fine for him not to use his degree, even if he has $100k in debt - but only if he gets a decent paying job, or even a bunch of poorly-paying jobs! It is not OK if he is going to earn $30k/year.