Anonymous wrote:I'm an only. My wife is an only. She still rates my sharing skills as "in progress." That's a teacher joke.

Our (formerly) only (almost 7 now) became a big sister to twins in September. And she's been everything but jealous or bothered. She loves her sisters, and is one person who consistently makes them laugh and smile.

I'm really glad the twins showed up. Two onlys having an only makes for a mighty small family, going forward.

Just wait until they try to steal her toys/clothes/whatever.

Yes, I think my DD was "street smart" after having gone to daycare. I am kind of glad of that fact. My sisters and I stayed at home with my mom (SAHM) back in the day and I think we were very nicey-nice and afraid to stand up for ourselves. We were the kids who were so polite, that we wouldn't say anything if, say, someone cut in front of us in line. Things like this. My DD (6) will stand up for herself and isn't afraid to jump into a new crowd of kids and start making new friends, and I am kind of glad of that fact, b/c I spent too many years being timid and cowed by others. Not for any reason except for in my own head!

I'm an only. My wife is an only. She still rates my sharing skills as "in progress." That's a teacher joke.

Our (formerly) only (almost 7 now) became a big sister to twins in September. And she's been everything but jealous or bothered. She loves her sisters, and is one person who consistently makes them laugh and smile.

I'm really glad the twins showed up. Two onlys having an only makes for a mighty small family, going forward.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also daycare kids can be a little...rough.

Oh goody. Let's add even more generalizations to this already absurd thread.

The roughest kid we know came to my daughter's 3rd birthday. He's always been at home with a nanny and now his younger sibling.

He had NO idea how to play with children his own age and he, without any provocation, walked up to one girl and shoved his hands into her chest knocking her down and walked up to another girl and took a swipe at her face.

Should I generalize that children at home with nannies or a stay at home parent aren't socialized because of this particular child?

Just sharing my own experiences - you are welcome to share yours.

We have lots of playdates and there are definitely "trends" for only kids and daycare kids. We still like the kids and continue to play with them, but it doesn't mean they don't have a different style of play. I joke that daycare kids are "street smart".

If anything I am glad my kids get experiences with different styles of play, personalities, etc.

And FWIW our second (brief) nanny liked to play a little rough and I could definitely see that in my children's play. Our current nanny is much gentler and polite and again it reflects in their play.

It's a little ridiculous to deny that children aren't influenced by their peers/role models.

Anonymous wrote:Also daycare kids can be a little...rough.

Oh goody. Let's add even more generalizations to this already absurd thread.

The roughest kid we know came to my daughter's 3rd birthday. He's always been at home with a nanny and now his younger sibling.

He had NO idea how to play with children his own age and he, without any provocation, walked up to one girl and shoved his hands into her chest knocking her down and walked up to another girl and took a swipe at her face.

Should I generalize that children at home with nannies or a stay at home parent aren't socialized because of this particular child?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My bigger issue with only children when they come over is that they tend to not be nice at all to the younger siblings. I guess they just develop the tolerance !

+1

That's so interesting. My friends tell me that they love for my only to play with their kids because the older siblings are often unkind to the younger ones. My DC, on the other hand, is usually kind to the younger ones and is very much looked up to by the little ones and appreciated by their parents.

My experience with my only is quite the opposite. He's lovely to the other siblings, but has no skills for dealing with the rivalries between siblings. If anything, I have seen the siblings sense his naivete and manipulate him to "get at" each other.

Perhaps we should all list our favorite generalizations about other families than our own?

How is your experience the opposite of mine?

Because I was unclear and was referring to the person you were also citing.

Got it. Thanks for clarifying; I was wondering what I had missed or misunderstood.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My bigger issue with only children when they come over is that they tend to not be nice at all to the younger siblings. I guess they just develop the tolerance !

+1

That's so interesting. My friends tell me that they love for my only to play with their kids because the older siblings are often unkind to the younger ones. My DC, on the other hand, is usually kind to the younger ones and is very much looked up to by the little ones and appreciated by their parents.

My experience with my only is quite the opposite. He's lovely to the other siblings, but has no skills for dealing with the rivalries between siblings. If anything, I have seen the siblings sense his naivete and manipulate him to "get at" each other.

Perhaps we should all list our favorite generalizations about other families than our own?

How is your experience the opposite of mine?

Because I was unclear and was referring to the person you were also citing.

I do think my only is a little bit clueless about younger children. But interested too, as in, she hasn't had much experience with the concept, so she's curious. She was watching my sister change my nephew the other day and I realized she hasn't seen anyone's diaper be changed before. That sort of blew me away, b/c I am the oldest of 6 and just grew up with younger kids and babies around all the time. It is strange to me that my child is growing up so differently from how I did! Sometimes my DD can also be a little bit dismissive of younger kids, like, "Mommy, you said her drawing was good, but it really wasn't! It was just scribble scrabble!" and I'll be like, "Yes, but you used to do scribble scrabble too and I always told you it was good," and I know she is turning it over in her head and probably, "But MY drawings are always gorgeous, and always have been!"

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My bigger issue with only children when they come over is that they tend to not be nice at all to the younger siblings. I guess they just develop the tolerance !

+1

That's so interesting. My friends tell me that they love for my only to play with their kids because the older siblings are often unkind to the younger ones. My DC, on the other hand, is usually kind to the younger ones and is very much looked up to by the little ones and appreciated by their parents.

My experience with my only is quite the opposite. He's lovely to the other siblings, but has no skills for dealing with the rivalries between siblings. If anything, I have seen the siblings sense his naivete and manipulate him to "get at" each other.

Perhaps we should all list our favorite generalizations about other families than our own?

How is your experience the opposite of mine?

Anonymous wrote:This is a really stupid thread.

Amazingly stupid.

Here's my contribution: I don't like having playdates with [children] because [reasons].

I would say that I tend to shy away from playdates with kids who have a SAHP. They tend to be less into imaginative play, more in need of parental support, and just clingy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:i just don't get frustrated with children on playdates period. they are kids. having fun. lighten up! geez.

Exactly.

And I have three kids (twins plus an older DS). All three of them can be dominating, bossy, selfish, and bratty on playdates and otherwise.

Now, you two ladies: bring your kids over whenever you want. You are refreshing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My bigger issue with only children when they come over is that they tend to not be nice at all to the younger siblings. I guess they just develop the tolerance !

+1

That's so interesting. My friends tell me that they love for my only to play with their kids because the older siblings are often unkind to the younger ones. My DC, on the other hand, is usually kind to the younger ones and is very much looked up to by the little ones and appreciated by their parents.

My experience with my only is quite the opposite. He's lovely to the other siblings, but has no skills for dealing with the rivalries between siblings. If anything, I have seen the siblings sense his naivete and manipulate him to "get at" each other.

Perhaps we should all list our favorite generalizations about other families than our own?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My bigger issue with only children when they come over is that they tend to not be nice at all to the younger siblings. I guess they just develop the tolerance !

+1

That's so interesting. My friends tell me that they love for my only to play with their kids because the older siblings are often unkind to the younger ones. My DC, on the other hand, is usually kind to the younger ones and is very much looked up to by the little ones and appreciated by their parents.

Also daycare kids can be a little...rough.