Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don't you get your child evaluated privately if you don't agree with the school. I'm not sure what you are so up in arms about: the report or the fact that your child qualifies for (free) services. No one is forcing you to have an IEP although I'm not sure why you would want to turn something down that is all to benefit your child.

How could I be more clear? They administered a test to my son that is not approved for children his age, and concluded that he is cognitively "below average" compared to his peers. This is bullshit since there is no data set of "peers" to whom he can be compared, since 3yos don't take the test. They have measured him against academic standards that are suited to 4 or 5 year old. Of course he would "fail" that test. Most 3yos would.

I never said I was turning anything down. In fact, I said I agreed with the OT's evaluation. But I can tell you that I will never, ever allow him to be evaluated by this joke of a psychologist ever again. And the fact that the SPED coordinator has trust in this man makes me have ZERO trust in her. I don't need nor do I want to have my child privately evaluated against academic standards. He is perfectly smart. He simply has some sensory and impulsivity issues. Those issues don't make him "cognitively below average." They make make it harder for him to learn, but they don't mean he is cognitively below average. On top of that, the fact that his teacher is insisting that she regularly sees 3yos who can sight read and write their entire name makes me question her and the curriculum standards by which the school is measuring my son. If those are the expectations, then I firmly believe they are unrealistic and not developmentally appropriate.

Well, here you say that teacher "regularly sees" 3 year olds who can write their names & sight read words. In your first post you say "She claims that some 3yos come into the classroom able to write their full name and read sight words, and that all of her kids are expected to be able to do this by the end of the year. So tell me, DCUM, does this ring true? If so, how does this happen? I know I did not write or sight read at age 3 or 4; neither did my husband according to his mother. We are both well-educated and employed professionals, so it's not like we lost out. If you have a kid in DC's public or public charter PS3 do you agree with their academic expectations?"

IDK what the big deal is. My 3 year old came into school last year unable to write at all, and learned to write her name over the course of the year. It wasn't like she was drilled on writing or flashcards, they had the kids practice writing their names by having them "sign in" every day. Some kids in her class were able to write their names when school began, especially the "older" 3 year olds and the kids with 3-4 letter names. Some kids still struggled with writing their names at the end of the year, but all of them showed improvement.

As for sight words, if a kid sees a word often enough s/he will learn to recognize it. STOP or CAT or THE, days of the week, or the names of other kids in their class, for example. It doesn't mean they can "read," it just means they've memorized a certain sequence of letters.

I think it's normal to feel a little defensive when it comes to your kids, but really, it sounds like you may be overreacting to what you heard. Did the teacher actually suggest that you should drill the kid with flashcards every evening, as you mentioned in your first post? Or did you just react to what you heard the teacher say and jump to that as a solution? Because drilling the kid with flashcards seems like a bad idea to me, but if the teacher is just noticing that your child is maybe not quite at the same level of handwriting development as other kids, well, that's something I would want to know.

My child is "below average" where math concepts are concerned. While hearing that wasn't exactly my happiest moment, I am personally glad that the teacher noticed that and told me about it. Now we can both try to work to get her up to the level of her classmates.

Just because your child is "below average"cognitively doesn't mean they are below average intelligence. You shouldn't take it so personally. It's not about something you did or didn't do.

I think you are overreacting.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is what happens when you send your child to a charter school. Amateur hour.

You think DCPS could do any better?

It sounds like OP's kid has behavior issues and acts out. Not many schools, public or private, are good at dealing with (major) behavior problems never mind a parent who isn't particularly cooperative.

My son doesn't have "major" behavior problems and I am perfectly "cooperative." I don't have to do what the teacher says, or the principal says, like a good little girl. I am an adult, and a taxpayer, and my child's mother and as such I reserve the right to ask any questions about curriculum, SPED, school policies, or anything else related to the school (or any school) that I damn well please. Good grief. Some of you are just nasty beyond belief.

I'm wondering if you are misunderstanding something in the process, though I can't honestly say what from your posts because they are too vague and your outrage seems over the top.

I get it. They administered a test for older children and you object to its conclusion. Fine. Then you turn down the IEP and maybe pull your kid from the school. Schools don't actually want IEPs, they are expensive and time consuming. The IEP is a tool that serves the right of the parents and child to have legally enforceable accommodations to serve a child who needs such accommodation. You don't want it or don't agree with it, don't participate in the process.

If you only want OT services, then go through the IEP process and turn down all other services. Simple.

Honestly, I don't get your rage. Your child is only damaged by an inappropriate assessment if you use it or allow it to be used.

Anonymous wrote:This is what happens when you send your child to a charter school. Amateur hour.

You think DCPS could do any better?

It sounds like OP's kid has behavior issues and acts out. Not many schools, public or private, are good at dealing with (major) behavior problems never mind a parent who isn't particularly cooperative.

This is what happens when you send your child to a charter school. Amateur hour.

"By the way - how does your DS get along with the teacher? I read that, for boys in particular, their relationship with their teacher is extremely important. I have seen it with my 5yo DS. If he doesn't respect the teacher, his behavior is bad. Once he has respect for the teacher, he is a model child. He had a teacher at age 3 that he did not click with at all and he pretty much wasted that year. At 4 and 5, he started the years badly but something clicked after a couple of months and he suddenly paid a lot of attention to the teacher. Same kid, totally different behavior and effort.[/quote

Our experience was the same for our son. At the school the prior year our son did not click with the teacher and teaching assistant. We were referred to early stages where everyone kept sayiing "why is this kid here?" In the end, we moved schools and there was a dramatic difference in his behavior. Partly it was the new environment and in part it was that he was a year older. He likely was not ready for school at the early age of 3 but really was not ready for the classroom he was in. Just another perspective. Good luck

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Go for a good Montessori School. If you are not familiar with the philosophy behind it, search for it. You will see why it is so great with young kids.

I would very much like to explore Montessori, but my DH insists that it is the wrong environment for our son. I just have to wholeheartedly disagree, but there's not much I can do if DH is opposed.

There are some convincing resources out there to help learn about Montessori, especially since there are some prevalent misconceptions that are out there. If it's something you want to keep discussing with your husband, see this book for some backup: http://www.amazon.com/Montessori-The-Science-Behind-Genius/dp/019536936X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1358529443&sr=8-1&keywords=lillard

Check out the AMS and AMI web sites, too.

please stop pushing for Montessori. My son with very slight sensory issue that does not even needs therapy was asked to leave. Montessori schools cannot handle sensory and behavior issues. And he was at one of the famous ones. Now he is doing great in a more traditional preschool. The teachers now are just that much more understanding of developmently appropriate behavior.

You should change schools if possible. But you should also keep an open mind about what some of the teachers are saying. Schools aren't in the habit of offering IEP services or doing testing without good reason- just something to consider

OP, I can't really help you on the DCPS front because we're in MoCo. But your child sounds a lot like mine, who just turned 4. My son was 3.5 when his daycare identified a number of social and emotional as well as fine motor delays. On the advice of our pediatrician, we had him assessed with Lynn Balzer Martin, an OT who was a major contributor to the Out of Sync Child books, who told us he was a MAJOR sensory seeker. Since then he has had OT twice a week, we had him assessed by MCPS who gave us an IEP and put him in a small classroom with kids with similar needs, a teacher and two aids, that pulls him out for OT and speech therapy, and he is really thriving. Before we received the MCPS assignment, we also talked to Irene Shere who is a fantastic educational consultant, and she mentioned that St. Columba's in NW DC was terrific for sensory kids.

I can't really weigh in on DCPS but it sounds like you're not getting what your kid needs and you need to agitate further or leave. The years before kindergarten are SO important for development, confidence, trust and comfort in a school setting. Agree with some PPs that Montessori would be a nightmare for a kid like this, Reggio and Waldorf would be better. But it sounds like you need some experts in your corner so I thought I'd recommend some.

Good luck and hugs.

(I guess what I'm saying is, fuck the reading nazis. We're doing it wrong in this country. Kids with educated parents who read to them, and who do not have major developmental issues, are better off without this absurd pushing. Fight it.)

I haven't read the whole thread, but we did encounter some of this nonsense. I just refused to accept any expectations that I thought were out of line, and was very clear with teachers that these were not my goals, and that I did not expect my young child to be saddled with comparisons in her hearing.

They are so used to parents being freaked out about their kids being behind that they didn't really know what to say to this.

I explained that I would read to my child and provide plenty of play and enrichment at home and that I was not otherwise concerned with progress. I encouraged them to tell me if they had specific concerns about a specific delay that might represent a major developmental problem. So that's what we did, and my child read later than any other child without a diagnosis, and is also the fastest reader with the highest comprehension scores in the class, reading several years above grade level. Oh, and the most voracious pleasure reader in the school. So.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you have my full sympathy, but I was offended when you seemed to extend your blame for your situation to all DC schools, and talk about how much you can't wait to move away. Folks have said over & over that your school is an outlier with inappropriate expectations. Don't paint all DC schools with the same brush.

Doesn't change the fact that the system is painful to navigate and deal with, school quality is wildly uneven, your choices may be poor or limited based on where you can afford to live, you are at the mercy of a lottery system, etc etc. I'm not saying every DC school is bad. I am saying I have some concerns about public education and the culture of testing, evaluations, standard based on my experience. And that culture is not limited to DC.

Exactly. It's just the way public schools work. It's the whole way they are set up. The teachers/administrators/psychologists, etc. who are really successful are successful in spite of the structure.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Go for a good Montessori School. If you are not familiar with the philosophy behind it, search for it. You will see why it is so great with young kids.

Montessori is the last thing I'd recommend for a kid with sensory issues.

Why? If it were a smaller class size how could it be worse than a classroom of 25 kids and an environment where he is expected to follow the same schedule every day? He does best when he can engage in things he wants to do. I realize he needs to be pushed in terms of his attention span, transitions, etc but I just don't see how a Montessori environment would be worse for him at all.

Montessori is a good option for kids who self-regulate well. Kids with sensory issues and consequently behavioral challenges need more structure.

People keep insisting that, it's true. I'm just not sure I believe that. I often wonder if the more rigid structure makes him feel pressured and insecure and causes him to act out.

A school true to the Montessori philosophy really does a brilliant job of providing freedom within structure. My friend has a son with major sensory issues in a Montessori school and the teacher supports him brilliantly.

Anonymous wrote:http://dc.gov/downloads/TEACHING%20&%20LEARNING/Learning%20Standards%202009/DCPS-ELA-PREK-STANDARDS-LEARNING-ACTIVITIES.pdf

Your situation seems to be an outlier, if your school is actually expecting children to read and write by the end of PreK.

This. Which charter?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Go for a good Montessori School. If you are not familiar with the philosophy behind it, search for it. You will see why it is so great with young kids.

Montessori is the last thing I'd recommend for a kid with sensory issues.

Why? If it were a smaller class size how could it be worse than a classroom of 25 kids and an environment where he is expected to follow the same schedule every day? He does best when he can engage in things he wants to do. I realize he needs to be pushed in terms of his attention span, transitions, etc but I just don't see how a Montessori environment would be worse for him at all.

Montessori is a good option for kids who self-regulate well. Kids with sensory issues and consequently behavioral challenges need more structure.

People keep insisting that, it's true. I'm just not sure I believe that. I often wonder if the more rigid structure makes him feel pressured and insecure and causes him to act out.