Anonymous wrote:If my MIL asked "How is my baby doing?" I'd answer as if she were asking about DH: "I dunno. He's at work right now. Did you try calling him on his cell to find out?"

I'd be interested in getting an update from OP on what happened and how it's all going with MIL now. OP?

Anonymous wrote:OP, you are ridiculous.

Okay, this thread was started in Dec 2012. OP's kid is probably walking.

She's excited. Relax and don't let this affect you. You're going to have bigger fish to fry in your life.

If my MIL asked "How is my baby doing?" I'd answer as if she were asking about DH: "I dunno. He's at work right now. Did you try calling him on his cell to find out?"

Anonymous wrote:Doormat.

yes

Anonymous wrote:Ever since my son was born, my MIL is obsessed with the baby (1st grandchild). It's bad enough my in-laws live 5 minutes from us, but she wants to be over here every single day, multiple times a day, and makes excuses to come by. She is constantly offering up unsolicited parenting advice, which I get is part and parcel of being a grandparent, but my polite "thanks, we'll consider x" responses are only met with follow-up phone calls and conversations over the coming days so she can ensure we're doing as she told us, and major guilt trips if we're not.

Lately she's been referring to my son as "her" baby, e.g. "How's my baby doing?", or, when out and about "Isn't my baby sweet?" to perfect strangers. I know she's just excited, but is there a tactful way I can put a stop to this? Sometimes I just want to scream "he's MY baby you overbearing hag!" I know this may be a minor thing to some, but it's really starting to bother me...probably since we don't exactly have the greatest relationship to begin with. Help?!

Her: "He's my baby!"
You: "He's your GRANDbaby!"

Her: "How's my baby doing?"
You: "Your GRAND baby is doing fine, GRANDMA!"

And get DH to do this too. Imperative that he also corrects her.

OP, you are ridiculous.

Anonymous wrote:haha -- do we have the same MIL? i totally get you. once my MIL was giving us some "helpful" advice and i told her, "this is MY baby and i'll do what i want." i defintely got the "if looks could kill" look. it didn't stop anything, but i think it irritated her, which was good enough for me. maybe add a "you had your turn to mother, now it's my turn."
good luck!

Bitch.

Doormat.

Anonymous wrote:Regarding the frequent visits: use it! Schedule a special time once or twice a week for just her and your LO. Take that time for yourself; nap, go get a mani/pedi, go have a quiet lunch out, do laundry, etc.

Turn lemons into lemonade. There's only so much you can do.

You are so lucky to have a free and caring babysitter. Use her till she gets tired.

I think it's fair game to try to structure the visits a little more. Are you recovered enough to get out of the house with baby a couple times a week. Without announcing your plans, just be out of the house for 3-5 hours when she's most likely to stop by uninvited. When you get her message that she tried and you weren't home, just say "Oh, I didn't know to expect you! Do you want to try 11am tomorrow morning? We'll have a free hour then." On the proactive side, invite her over when it would work for you. That way she knows when to come by, hopefully won't stop by much earlier, and you'll be relieved to see her because you'll have something for her to do - watch the baby while you shower, paint your nails, etc.

The unsolicited advice does get old. I really tried to be patient with my MIL but the ongoing commentary on my parenting, housekeeping, my husband's grooming habits was just too much. When I couldn't take it anymore, I had a few tactics: right in the middle of an offensively insensitive sentence, I'd interrupt with "Would you like some tea? I need to stretch my legs" then I'd scurry out; when she wouldn't drop a topic "actually, DH is now in charge of that topic. If you have any thoughts to share on the matter, I can call DH for you but I'm no longer the person to talk to about that." and so on. You get the idea.