OP, your friend sounds nuts and terribly immature. You're well within your rights to keep your daughters' rooms off limits when they're not there and if the kid is whining and complaining about going to the mall, then probably best not to go. These seem like no brainers and well within the norm.

Anonymous wrote:Homeschooling takes less time because the work gets done much faster when there are fewer students.

Please realize a HUGE amount of logistics time is embedded in regular classroom hours to shepherd the students to open their books, prepare their pencil/paper, gather all the work, line up, share resources, move into groups, waiting for whispers to die down etc... and that's not even counting time lost if there are real behavior issues (which there will be during a normal classroom year).

This!
And I do not homeschool, but do suffer under the illusion that there are 6 hours if straight up instruction in traditional school.

your friend is nuts
1) she should have called and told you her kid was coming.
it would have been considerate being that she is the one who requested a kid free day.

2) it is ur house you don't have to let ANYONE in any room you do not want to!!


3) your friend is crazy

OP,

I am curious if you heard back from your friend regarding your e-mail back to her? If so, what did she say? I am also curious about if you want to remain friends with her? She sounds like a self centered drama queen to me. Is she often like this?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone else think this thread is oddly split in two -- the OP's original question and a debate about homeschooling?

Every thread is off topic here The poor OP of the $1000 handbag thread fared even worse

True, but requesting help in buying a handbag equal to many people's weekly salary -- she should have seen that one coming!

Eh, stick a donut in your purse and call it a day.

My kids rooms are off limits as well. Like PP said, they are allowed to have that place as their own and their items are theirs and theirs alone to use or share if they want. You said you have a playroom space and that should have been more than good enough for your guest.

Anonymous wrote:Anyone else think this thread is oddly split in two -- the OP's original question and a debate about homeschooling?

Every thread is off topic here The poor OP of the $1000 handbag thread fared even worse

Anonymous wrote:I think you were totally reasonable. Your house, your rules, end of story-- that should be a no-brainer for the mom, and the 3rd greater should be able to deal with it.

My thoughts exactly

Anyone else think this thread is oddly split in two -- the OP's original question and a debate about homeschooling?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just want to defend the homeschooling issue - I homeschool and we go until mid-June and start after Labor Day. Also, we see nothing wrong with doing all our schooling from 7-11am some days or 4-8pm other days. There's nothing wrong with what the OP's friend did in terms of taking her DD somewhere during traditional school hours.

Really? 4 hours of schooling a day? School lasts about 6 3/4 hours. Even if you factor in the 3/4 hours for lunch and recess, that's still 10 hours of less instruction per week.

I have no real experience with homeschooling, except two people I know who were home schooled, that happen to be very bright. My one friend was HS'd by her schizophrenic mother, and she was never bathed, living in filth. She went to college on a full ride and now successfully runs her own business, employing 25 people in white collar jobs.

However, ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Have you spent any time in your child's public classroom?? Or are you the parent to babies? Because I volunteer in my child's classroom and there is much time wasted. I have no doubt in my mind that if my child were given 3 hours of dedicated learning time each day, he would learn way more than in a classroom full of 25 children and one stressed out teacher. As it is I have to supplement his learning at home because the teacher simply does not have the time to give him the reading help he needs.

Anonymous wrote:Please tell me more abut the revolution of the homeschooled children!

+1 oh, please, homeschooling parents! I find that I just cannot hear enough justifications for the awesome education that your kids are getting, in all situations. No, not awesome education - superior. Tell us all again, LOL, about how all the people who homeschool are totally normal except for that one family (eyeroll!) and how twelve famous and/or smart people were homeschooled (even if Teddy Roosevelt was part of the very wealthy who were frequently tutored at home by the very best tutors, especially if, like TR, they were incredibly sick children). And do share how your kids are entitled to the public schools' extracuriculars. Really, please, start a spin off thread and educate us bellowing morons.

My kids have asked me not to allow other kids (including their siblings) in their rooms when they are not there and I respect their wishes. They keep things they don't want to share in there, items purchased w/their own money, pottery they don't want broken accidentally, their diaries, etc. I also don't allow their friends to play in my room - even when I am there. We don't allow children to take food/drinks outside of the kitchen or dining room. They can't jump on the couch, etc. Different homes have different rules.

The friend should've called and invited OP to her house when it became apparent that the DD wasn't going to let her go without her. The OP could've suggested they reschedule for another time when they are both "kids free." It sounds like the friend thinks "kids free" only applies to the OPs kids.

The friend has trouble setting limits with her DD. She let her DD change an adults-only plan she had made and is offended that her DD was asked to follow a rule in someone else's house. A rule that applies to every child who visists (not just her DD).

As to a response to this friend's email, I would simply state that you didn't intend to make anyone feel uncomfortable. The rule applies to any child visiting - not just her DD. You would've planned more child-centered activities had you known she was coming in advance.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My reply to her email:

"I'm sorry you feel that way Suzy. Janie was welcome to play in our playroom. My girls value their privacy, therefore, we don't allow other people in their rooms without their permission. When we were leaving for the mall your daughter expressed disappointment in going, so I thought it was best that we reschedule for a day when we can both be child free. I had a great day with you and look forward to going out with you again."

Sounds perfect to me. People who have their mind set on being offended cannot be helped.

Pitch perfect, indeed. I think "being offended" is often a defense of people who know they are in the wrong. From the moment she left the house with DD, she knew she was altering the plans.

Please tell me more abut the revolution of the homeschooled children!