I know the feeling, like when an IL would give a toy to my sick kid, then pass it to my healthy baby to play with. Bring your child's own utensils and sippy cup with you to the restaurant. Don't let the kid sit on anyone else's lap (which makes it almost impossible for you to eat at a restaurant). In private, tell your immediate family your rules and get your chattiest family member to tell the extended family your rules. Then they have been prepped for you telling them to use your child's own utensils, and they should know better. I'd be more worried about the high chair that a zillion other kids have used or the table. Or just stop going out to restaurants with these people. Or go in smaller groups who you can have some control over. No one can even hear anyone at the other end of a table. By letting other people hold your kid, you are basically giving up any control over what happens.

Lots of comments, but got the gist of things. I have to say I'm with you, OP and PP. Why is the child being treated like a pet? An adult would not go around the table feeding from various plates etc. from the table.

OP, how did things go, if you ever return here? It's now more than 2 years.

Wow everyone on here is so damn rude! "Get over it"? Really? Do you even have children? Why should she let it go? It's her child! I think sharing utensils and cups is disgusting! You don't know where people's mouths have been and if they smoke or don't even brush their teeth. Even if they are super hygienic it is still gross to share your saliva with a kid. It's disgusting. I searched this because I'm having the same problem. I don't have a problem when my husband shares with our kid, but I don't like it when the rest of the family does it. It's gross. Absolute no no!

OP, he's old enough that teaching him to sit in his own seat and eat with a fork would be 100% appropriate. Tell people that you're trying to teach him that in restaurants or at home, while eating, you sit in your own chair and you don't use your fingers.

Plenty of children have eaten dog food. What my dog eats is probably both cleaner and healthier than what you eat....

Anonymous wrote:Too funny. After three kids, who have eaten from the same bowl as the dogs, preferred the dogs bones to their own toys and on at least one occasion, snacked from the cat box---gross? Hell yes but that was one fast baby!---who are now all grown and functional adults, I don't worry about germs.

I didn't have a tv, prohibited video and computer games, never bought a food or a toy advertised on tv at the grandparents, and refused to participate in more than one activity per semester. So no, my decisions on what I did with my kids weren't based on public opinion, but y'all seem mitt stupid in the nation's capital. No wonder this country is in trouble.

Yeah, but atleast I never let my kid eat from the dog's bowl you nasty freak

Too funny. After three kids, who have eaten from the same bowl as the dogs, preferred the dogs bones to their own toys and on at least one occasion, snacked from the cat box---gross? Hell yes but that was one fast baby!---who are now all grown and functional adults, I don't worry about germs.

I didn't have a tv, prohibited video and computer games, never bought a food or a toy advertised on tv at the grandparents, and refused to participate in more than one activity per semester. So no, my decisions on what I did with my kids weren't based on public opinion, but y'all seem mitt stupid in the nation's capital. No wonder this country is in trouble.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would have happily dealt with a few cavities as a child if the alternative was my parents never kissing me. Kisses from mom and dad rock. And I can't imagine never kissing my son. What a sad way to live.

gross....

+1 barfing.
I felt very much loved and got plenty of kisses from my parents, just not on the mouth.

You might be fortunate not to know much about cavities if you think you'd only have to deal with them as a child.

Is this Chipotle lady?

You know, everyone is attacking OP, but sharing utensils and not washing hands is one of THE main way communicable diseases are spread... so why the hate?

Anonymous wrote:I would have happily dealt with a few cavities as a child if the alternative was my parents never kissing me. Kisses from mom and dad rock. And I can't imagine never kissing my son. What a sad way to live.

gross....

I would have happily dealt with a few cavities as a child if the alternative was my parents never kissing me. Kisses from mom and dad rock. And I can't imagine never kissing my son. What a sad way to live.

OP, I'm not a germaphobe and I, too, find it gross to share utensils. Call me strange, but I really don't care. I don't really even share utensils w/ my own DC or DH. We allow the kids to share with each other and that's it. I had the same rule growing up with a parent in th medical field. Adult germs do not belong in kids' mouths.

I had to train my ILs on how we are raising our kids. We don't kiss on the mouth & we don't share utensils. I just made it plain that DC need their own utensils. MIL tried to sneak and I remind her ech time. DC tell her now too! Love thise kids... I also told her about the issue the dentist raised. I have no cavities, but she does. Bottom line is that she simply has to go by my rules with my kids.

FWIW, I really don't think my family will stop being around because I won't let them share utensils and cups. If so, THEY are the crazy ones. WTH!?

Anonymous wrote:People have survived for thousands of years in unsanitary conditions. And still do today. Don't you think you could relax your standards a bit, OP? Unhelicoptering will benefit both you and your child. Really.

So if I walked up to your husband and fed him ice cream or cake from my spoon would that not gross you out? If your MIL licked her spoon and then gave it to you to eat from would that be okay? Probably not but it is somehow acceptable because the recipient of salvia laden spoon in this cse is a small child.

It is not being a helicopter parent by following common sense and doctor's recommendation. Having standards doesn't mean helicopter parenting.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 3 year. Old leaned over and licked the metal grab rail on the metro. Ewwww!

Still alive, and quiet healthy due to all the germs.

You are in for a fun 2-3 years OP if you are freaking out about grandma sharing a pudding with your toddler.

Do you encourage your kid to lick the rail? Do you like it? I bet it was an isolated incident, you told the kid not to do that anymore, and thought of ways to prevent him/her from licking every rail in sight.

OP didn't freak out, she's looking for ways to deal with a recurrent situation. If it's something she can easily prevent, that's her prerogative as a mother.
I don't understand posters like you who pass judgement on other parents' standard ( especially since these are standards which a pedi & dentist would support). The question was not whether she should allow utensil sharing, but how to request ppl not do continue the utensil sharing.

Exactly! My kid has licked the shopping cart handle, refrigerator door handle, and eaten off the floor. But I don't encourage that behavior nor would I want someone feeding my child from their spoon (or kissing them on the lips) when I, as their mother, don't even do that.