I do notice that black people seem to be more comfortable letting their real feelings show when they are NOT in a good mood.

Anonymous wrote:It's deeply socially ingrained. If you can't say something nice don't say anything. Catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. Courtesy in general. Also, most of us lack the assumption that the world is out to get us, so there's less of a chip on the shoulder on a daily basis. I hear a lot of AAs complaining about being "disrespected". That's not really on my personal radar. I guess all this,could add up to seeming happy. Though my HHI is less than half OP's. I have serious problems and worries in my life. I just don't think it's appropriate to put it on others through rude behavior on my part.

Is the higher tendency of whites to commit suicide also socially ingrained? Also the weaker relationship bonds?

It's deeply socially ingrained. If you can't say something nice don't say anything. Catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. Courtesy in general. Also, most of us lack the assumption that the world is out to get us, so there's less of a chip on the shoulder on a daily basis. I hear a lot of AAs complaining about being "disrespected". That's not really on my personal radar. I guess all this,could add up to seeming happy. Though my HHI is less than half OP's. I have serious problems and worries in my life. I just don't think it's appropriate to put it on others through rude behavior on my part.

Anonymous wrote:

NP to this particular discussion. I find that many people assume you are grouchy if you aren't smiling. I'm black and when I'm concentrating or thinking about something, I can sometimes look intense. It doesn't mean I'm mad and/or grouchy. I've found that many people like to assign the "angry" tagline without any real merit.

I'm white and I have the same intense face when I'm thinking, reading, or listening at a meeting. I try to smile other times to counteract my seriousness. Maybe it's unfair, maybe some people are likely to label me serious and you angry, I don't know. I'm sorry if that happens. And I do think that all women of any color are expected to be cheerier than men. It's sexist.

I get this intense face too (I'm white) when I am thinking, reading, or listening. And at these times, I have been told, "Smile!!" I think this is a thing that, particularly, MEN like to say to young WOMEN and I personally find it annoying. Like women cannot be serious. There is a time to be serious and a time to be smiley. So I dont' think this is a black-white thing. I think this is an annoying man-woman thing.

Black women’s culture of social support to be studied for prevention of military suicides

Veterans Affairs officials have announced that studying the uniquely supportive culture of black women might provide a key to addressing the spike in suicides occurring in the armed forces. According to the Los Angeles Times, “Suicides among U.S. military members have spiked this year, with an average of one suicide a day — the highest rate so far during a decade of war in Iraq and Afghanistan.” MSNBC reports that this is an 18 percent increase in military suicides compared to last year.

While the government does not break down military suicides according to race, among the general population African-American women have the lowest suicide rate of any group. Surprisingly, white men die most often by their own hand. “The suicide rate among white men was 25.96 per 100,000 from 2005 to 2009, according to the Centerns for Disease Control and Prevention,” related Government Executive magazine in its piece on studying black women to reduce soldier suicides. “By comparison, the rate for black women was less than three suicides per 100,000.”

http://thegrio.com/2012/06/13/black-womens-culture-of-social-support-to-be-studied-for-prevention-of-military-suicides/

NP to this particular discussion. I find that many people assume you are grouchy if you aren't smiling. I'm black and when I'm concentrating or thinking about something, I can sometimes look intense. It doesn't mean I'm mad and/or grouchy. I've found that many people like to assign the "angry" tagline without any real merit.

I'm white and I have the same intense face when I'm thinking, reading, or listening at a meeting. I try to smile other times to counteract my seriousness. Maybe it's unfair, maybe some people are likely to label me serious and you angry, I don't know. I'm sorry if that happens. And I do think that all women of any color are expected to be cheerier than men. It's sexist.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love that people are responding to this thread as though it was a serious statement from the OP. This is clearly a joke. Come on, you think "why do white people seem so happy most of the time" was a serious post?

OP here. Yes, this is a serious question... And I do thank everyone who has responded so far.

The comments particularly from posters 12:15, 12:49, and especially 12:50 have helped me to realize that I have a lot to be happy about and that maybe I need to try a little harder. Even if I need to 'fake it til I make it' as one poster put it.

OH good!! I was the 12:50 poster and the "fake it 'til you make it" poster so I am glad it maybe was helpful!! As the PP said, hang in there; we're all in it together! Bye!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love that people are responding to this thread as though it was a serious statement from the OP. This is clearly a joke. Come on, you think "why do white people seem so happy most of the time" was a serious post?

OP here. Yes, this is a serious question... And I do thank everyone who has responded so far.

The comments particularly from posters 12:15, 12:49, and especially 12:50 have helped me to realize that I have a lot to be happy about and that maybe I need to try a little harder. Even if I need to 'fake it til I make it' as one poster put it.

Hang in there, OP! Hope things get better!

My guess is it's that the white (and more affluent) population has a much bigger financial safety net (people they could borrow from, access to credit) than other minorities. When you know that the next car repair isn't going to bankrupt you (because you could potentially borrow the money from a friend or relative) you do become much more happy-go-lucky.

I would also hypothesize that minorities that are doing well are more stressed about daily life because they are far above the mean for their ethnic/family group. They tend to have more people needing their support within their family group. Whereas with non-hispanic whites most of them in this area are closer to the mean of their social/family circle and are less expected to help out financially or emotionally.

Anonymous wrote:^the first pp quoted in the above exchange was indeed talking about white privilege. And no one said anything about white privilege making for a happy life. Have you read the posts at all?

they called it white privilege but then they defined it as being raised to believe everything would just come to you and that others were at fault if it didn't. That's an attitude, that's not WP in the sense of not having to experience racism or coming from family wealth or having parents who both went to college or whatever tangible aspect of white privilege you want to point to. That PP was saying that both the attitude and WP explain why white people are so happy. I've said why I think the attitude part is silly. What's left is WP itself. Just because racism can seriously hurt someone's life or make it harder does not mean that WP makes for a good or easy life. The amount of harm done to the person who experiences racism is much greater than whatever benefit white people get from being white. It's not one-to-one, where white people have great lives because they keep other people down.

Anonymous wrote:I love that people are responding to this thread as though it was a serious statement from the OP. This is clearly a joke. Come on, you think "why do white people seem so happy most of the time" was a serious post?

OP here. Yes, this is a serious question... And I do thank everyone who has responded so far.

The comments particularly from posters 12:15, 12:49, and especially 12:50 have helped me to realize that I have a lot to be happy about and that maybe I need to try a little harder. Even if I need to 'fake it til I make it' as one poster put it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm white. I'm not happy or care free. I wish I was.

+1 Maybe we are just better at faking it than you. Don't assume that we are all cavalierly priveleged and carefree. I WISH.

+2

You have white privilege, but unlike OP, I certainly don't assume that every smiling person has an awesome, stress-free life.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I used to think that white people were generally happy. But I've learned they aren't....at least not the women. Many are incredibly self-conscious about their appearance/weight/etc and just seem really sad "inside". It is masked very well, but it usually comes off as fake and/or desperate. I'm convinced that white women bottle up too many emotions which is why they age so damn fast! Think of the white women who don't have a problem expressing their emotions (Italians, Jews)...they age great (for the most part)!

Wait, im sorry, but other than Sophia Loren, can someone please show me a good looking older Italian or Jewisj person?

I'm not talking about drop-dead gorgeous. Just less sag and bag.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do not believe that on average white women bottle up their emotions. People express emotions differently.

If people express emotions differently, why can't some people accept that others don't choose to walk around smiling at everyone they pass, and that it's not a reflection of their happiness?

I'm a smiley person, by the way, but I don't find fault with others for not smiling at me as we pass on the street.

I don't necessarily agree with those who say that everyone should smile all the time but one question is how you express your emotions, probably to friends and family, and the other question is what is considered appropriate and professional in the workplace, say, where I do think many people, not just white people, believe it is impolite to walk around grouchy all the time.

NP to this particular discussion. I find that many people assume you are grouchy if you aren't smiling. I'm black and when I'm concentrating or thinking about something, I can sometimes look intense. It doesn't mean I'm mad and/or grouchy. I've found that many people like to assign the "angry" tagline without any real merit.

OP, can you please describe specific attitudes and behaviors that you have observed, that made you ask the initial question? And how do they differ in whites and blacks, given your blended heritage and experience?