So chiming in as a previous poster with a fifth grader.

Several weeks into school, my child is much calmer and more agreeable so far this year coming home to decompress in a quiet house (much like pp). And, his homework's getting done without a fight.

6th grade. And I got the raised eyebrow from my peer moms because she changed from private (picked up in the school carpool/at aftercare) to public that same year. However, this daughter loved coming home to the quiet house to decompress. She and her sister used to fight in the car on the way home when I picked them up at the private school because the younger one needs to talk and let loose at the end of the day. Fast forward to 8th grade and I was actually LESS comfortable with my older one being alone. She had become much more social and I was not sure she was studying like she said she was. I started coming home early from work at least a couple of random days a weeek to check up on her. Her sister started middle school this year and DH and I are switching off afternoons, so that one of us leaves work early every day. The younger one does not like to be left on her own, requires more direction, and is an irritant to the big sister who has a high school load now. So, I think the answer to your question lies in knowing your kid and staying open to changing the plan as the kids' needs change.

Anonymous wrote:More worrisome IMO than a stranger doing stuff to a kid is word getting out that OP's kid is alone, and then friends and friends of friends coming over.

The risk of the former is really negligible. The risk of the latter -- I trust you, I sort of trust your friends, but no way in hell do I trust friends of friends -- is way higher.

That's not a huge concern to me because none of my kids' friends are home after school -- they are all in aftercare.

I'd be ok at 8 (the legal minimum here) as long as they were mature enough and were able to remember and follow the rules and what to do in an emergency. Especially with such a short period of time.

I would have rules like no visitors, no answering the phone or door, no operating the toaster or oven. And have them call you when they get home.

More worrisome IMO than a stranger doing stuff to a kid is word getting out that OP's kid is alone, and then friends and friends of friends coming over.

The risk of the former is really negligible. The risk of the latter -- I trust you, I sort of trust your friends, but no way in hell do I trust friends of friends -- is way higher.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I used to walk home a mile with a friend (sometimes alone) in 3rd grade so 8, but there was a babysitter at home. We crossed one major street at a light. I was fine. When I was in middle school living in a very safe neighborhood two middle school age siblings walked into a robbery in progress in their home and were brutally murdered.

I am not yet at this crossroads but am working on adjusting my schedule to be home in the afternoons.

I understand that you have to protect your kids, but I don't know how that could have been avoided. It seriously sounds like if an adult had been home, they would have been killed too. My son put his foot down at 12 and said enough, please give me some independence. It's been fine. He also started riding the metro bus by himself at 12. Sometimes I think city kids are a little more savvy, always on alert for something.

THIS. its about knowing your surroundings. if your kids is a headstrong, alert kid then they should be better off than the kid walking about like "umm... mommy... help.... i dont know where i am....)

Probably around 4th or 5th grade...we live in a suburban neighborhood with lots of stay at home moms that meet their kids at the bus stop, so even if my kid was walking home on his own, there would be lots of parents/other kids within eye sight until he reached the door.

People are talking about the law in VA being 7...i think it varies, and isn't exactly a law, but a guideline...In Fairfax county the guideline is not to leave a child under the age of 8 alone, ever
http://www.fairfaxcounty.gov/dfs/childrenyouth/supervision_eng.htm

My fifth grader just did.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In Va. your child has to be 7 to be left alone. I would do it for the amount of time you are talking about for 8.5 yr. old IF the child was o.k. being alone.

To the PP, maybe think about cutting the apron strings a little? You seriously wouldn't let your child manage him/herself until 5th grade? They are more capable than you think.

OP, I'm assuming you live in a safe, suburban neighborhood.

You think a fifth grader can not only keep a housekey without losing it but also turn off the house security system before it goes off? Don't most people have house alarms if they are dual WOHPs?

Of course. My 4th grader can do that without difficulty.

Anonymous wrote:In Va. your child has to be 7 to be left alone. I would do it for the amount of time you are talking about for 8.5 yr. old IF the child was o.k. being alone.

To the PP, maybe think about cutting the apron strings a little? You seriously wouldn't let your child manage him/herself until 5th grade? They are more capable than you think.

OP, I'm assuming you live in a safe, suburban neighborhood.

You think a fifth grader can not only keep a housekey without losing it but also turn off the house security system before it goes off? Don't most people have house alarms if they are dual WOHPs?