It is also hard to travel if one person has a job with little flexibility. If you are the boss or owner of a business and want to take time off, it is a real hassle be told "I can't go b/c I don't have the vacation time/used up my two weeks."

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you "fill up the day" with when you're not working and don't have kids?

Tons of stuff! Travel, work out, get together with friends, take random classes that interest me (like right now I'm taking a cooking class), go to the beach house, read books, go shopping.
All those things you wish you could do but don't have time for because you're working? I do them. Plus, I'm not exhausted when DH gets home from work!

Sounds pretty good to me, actually.

Most women in my experience who don't work but have no kids (or ill relatives), to put it bluntly, are too low on the IQ scale to have any intellectual pursuits - staying home and doing nothing but shopping, cooking/cleaning, talking on the phone, going to the beach, and facebooking is more than enough to fill all of their time and satisfy their intellectual hunger.

Of course, I have seen posts on here of SAH wives who find what to me sound like more interesting things to fill the time, but these women are surely in the minority (and are clearly of more than average or below average intelligence).

Anonymous wrote:Between the economy and the divorce rates in this country, women who get comfortable not working and living off someone else are in for an incredibly rude awakening when they have no skills and need to make their own living.

It's a terrible thing to plan for, yet odds are good, these days, that something is going to burst the SAH bubble.

A smart woman has a plan and doesn't settle for reading magazines, sleeping in, or working out. These won't pay the bills.

TOTALLY. My MIL used to brag about being a "retired executive housewife," blah blah blah. Basically never worked a real day in her entire life because her husband was VP of some huge fortune 500 company, and now, at 60, she is divorced, completely indigent, and going place to place to stay like a gypsy. I mean her bank account is $0.00!!!! (FYI - her ex traded for a younger, blonder flousey)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would LOVE to do this. Working is overrated if you ask me. My husband and I hope for me to quit one day, kids or not. I've worked in high powered jobs for 10 years and have saved a lot of money and think I deserve it.

Your husband hopes for you to quit one day? Because you deserve it? What about him?

EXACTLY. Why do you deserve to quit more than he does? All these women saying they worked so hard and deserved to quit - to rely on husbands? Even if the women earned money they're still relying on his insurance etc. why hasn't HE earned that right?

I supported my husband for years while he built his business. Not only was I the primary breadwinner but he took almost no salary and I lent the company money out of my earnings, etc. My husband's business is now going through the roof and he wants me to have a break from work. I will probably go back at some point but if he wants to do this for me, why not? He loves what he does and has no interest in quitting so it's not a question of who deserves it more.

8:53 again...Also, have you thought about the fact there are quite a few people out there dealing with serious illness who don't disclose that to everyone they meet. There are all sorts of reasons for couples making the choice to have one person working outside the home and if it works for their marriage then more power to them.

Have you ever thought about the fact that woman who "doesn't work" is frequently checking up on an ill relative or a mentally ill and handicapped sibling? Long after we were out of the house my mother had to retire quite early because she had to take off so much to deal with my father's illness. They were lucky to be able to afford this. Guess what? Caregivers need to do things to keep their sanity. For some maybe shopping does it or maybe working out or maybe getting a manicure or just sitting in Starbucks reading a book.

I have no problem with a woman taking a role that doesn't involve "working" outside the home. If a family can afford it and it works for them, I think it's great. My concern is that society won't accept a man taking on the same role. Even stay at home dads with kids get looked down upon by some. Very sad.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know someone who quit her job when she got married. Her DH became a big law partner and she shopped all day, everyday. She finally popped out two kids but has a housekeeper and nanny. I'm not jealous. They are in couples counseling. Actually, she's pretty nice but I don't think very highly of her. If you are not working and don't have kids you do not need a housekeeper. They didn't live in a big house. She was just lazy and a gold digger. Her husband got the trophy wife he always wanted (and her eating disorder too).

I think you are jealous. Why else would you say such catty things about a woman who is pretty nice to you and "popped out" two children?

I guess I hit a little too close to home for you, PP. She is a child who took no responsibility before her husband gave her an ultimatum. She can't hold a job because she lacks basic coping skills among other things. She did nothing all day but shop, before she had children. She was given a choice to have children or go back to work. She begrudgingly had children to save her marriage which is on the rocks anyway. The DH is just as much to blame IMO. Trust me, I'm not jealous. What she doesn't realize is that everyone can see through her pretend world. I wanted my children, am competent enough to work and have a wonderful relationship with my DH. She is all filler with no substance, just a full closet that still can't fill her inner emptiness. What angers me is that she is screwing up her kids now too.

I know one person like this. I went to high school with her, and after high school, she lived with her parents and worked summers at her high school job and went to three different colleges and universities, but never finished a degree. She got married last year and doesn't work. She does volunteer work with a charity organization in our hometown, so I guess she "does something" but it's still strange to me that at her young age without kids to take care of, she wouldn't have a real job. I'm not jealous, just a bit puzzled, as she is the only person I know like this. Everyone else either works, or stays home with kids. She's the only stay-at-home-wife I know. Certainly don't expect her to walk around giving explanations, but it is a bit weird. Then again, given her personality and lack of ambition, I guess it's not surprising.

The women who don't work and who don't care for children sound like children themselves. Maybe teenagers, but same idea. Women will NEVER be considered equal in a society that accepts the idea that women can behave like teens -- shopping, scheduling their social lives, decorating houses -- and still be considered "adults." Grow the fuck up, people. I'm an NP here, but I care about this because you are perpetuating an evil stereotype.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would LOVE to do this. Working is overrated if you ask me. My husband and I hope for me to quit one day, kids or not. I've worked in high powered jobs for 10 years and have saved a lot of money and think I deserve it.

Your husband hopes for you to quit one day? Because you deserve it? What about him?

EXACTLY. Why do you deserve to quit more than he does? All these women saying they worked so hard and deserved to quit - to rely on husbands? Even if the women earned money they're still relying on his insurance etc. why hasn't HE earned that right?

Anonymous wrote:What I don't understand is why both partners don't work until they can afford to both retire. I hate working and can totally understand not wanting to work, but I can't imagine thinking my husband should work while I don't.

My husband owns his own business and loves what he does so will probably work forever. I have not been so lucky despite trying new jobs so I will definitely retire long before him.

For all the idiots asking why OP cares...um this is dcum, where anyone asks about anything that is not his/her business obviously, so no need to get all defensive just because people rightfully judge you on your meaningless lifestyle, ok?

Anonymous wrote:I know someone who quit her job when she got married. Her DH became a big law partner and she shopped all day, everyday. She finally popped out two kids but has a housekeeper and nanny. I'm not jealous. They are in couples counseling. Actually, she's pretty nice but I don't think very highly of her. If you are not working and don't have kids you do not need a housekeeper. They didn't live in a big house. She was just lazy and a gold digger. Her husband got the trophy wife he always wanted (and her eating disorder too).

I think you are jealous. Why else would you say such catty things about a woman who is pretty nice to you and "popped out" two children?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What I don't understand is why both partners don't work until they can afford to both retire. I hate working and can totally understand not wanting to work, but I can't imagine thinking my husband should work while I don't.

This. But I think there is a societal expectation that men work, whereas women can get away with living off the men. Hence why we don't see many men quitting their jobs upon marriage and prior to children.

I agree. My BFF has been the primary breadwinner for a few years and her husband catches a lot of grief for it. He was laid off but he still feels a lot of guilt.