Anonymous
02/23/2012 17:49
Subject: Do you wish you had your children younger
Yes and no. By the time I had my kids I had finished college and grad school a while back and I had a career I enjoyed. I didn't feel like I had missed out on anything or made major sacrifices even when I had to give up my full time job. My husband and I are savers and we are done paying off debt so we can put some money in their college funds.
I had my kids in my 30s and I try to eat right and do everything I can to take care of my health because I want to be there for them when they become adults and I would be thrilled to be a grandma.
On the other hand, I'm exhausted. Staying up all night with a very ill kid does me in, whereas in my 20s I recovered from all-nighters much more quickly. I also don't want my kids to ever feel sanwiched, but my parents had us younger and I still have some sandwich generation stuff going on to an extent.
All in all I feel lucky and believe me I have not had a charmed life. I feel lucky that I took my time to find the right guy, I was my own person with my own career and I got to have kids too.
I had my kids in my 30s and I try to eat right and do everything I can to take care of my health because I want to be there for them when they become adults and I would be thrilled to be a grandma.
On the other hand, I'm exhausted. Staying up all night with a very ill kid does me in, whereas in my 20s I recovered from all-nighters much more quickly. I also don't want my kids to ever feel sanwiched, but my parents had us younger and I still have some sandwich generation stuff going on to an extent.
All in all I feel lucky and believe me I have not had a charmed life. I feel lucky that I took my time to find the right guy, I was my own person with my own career and I got to have kids too.
Anonymous
02/23/2012 17:32
Subject: Do you wish you had your children younger
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:"My parents (who were separated) were upset, but not overly so."
Did they know you were dating at 13? Did they teach you about birth control? Did you receive any public assistance, food stamps, WIC, Medicaid, etc.?
LOL....Aren't you the inquisitive one?
-No, my mother didn't know I was "dating". I used to skip school early and hang out at my husband's place (while his Mom worked) or at his sister's (who was older and also WOH). I was an "A" student, so my grades never suffered. I probably only skipped school every other week or so...if that often.
-No, my mother didn't want to talk about birth control. I was 13, so I guess she imagined she had time. I did tell her "Mom, I'm ready", but it was very casual and she gave me a "Yeah right" response. I, also, for some really weird reason, wanted a baby. My husband (BF at the time) and I were somehow convinced that we wanted a baby and we took no precautions to prevent pregnancy. Of course, as soon as I had the "I really don't need a baby right now" epiphany, I realized I was pregnant.
-I lived in public housing until I moved out with my husband (then BF) at 19. My mother was on welfare while I was growing up and thinking back, I'm almost positive that I rec'd aid for my daughter for at least a year (through my mother's benefits). Pretty sure we were on Medicaid too. I've been working since the age of 16 and was making $25k at 19 when I moved out. Have never rec'd any other form of assistance since I was 18 years old. We are comfortably middle-class.
You probably do not care but just want to say that I salute you and your husband for making a life for yourselves . You could have been the victim of your circumstances and but you choose another path. BTW, you remind me of my mother (she was 17 when I was born). She left me with my grandmother (during the week) and worked her ass off. She graduated from college a year after I did and spent most of her adult life working as a nanny. Now I am comfortable in the 1% so I wish the best for you and your girls (and please teach them about birth control).
Anonymous
02/23/2012 17:27
Subject: Do you wish you had your children younger
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:too many self centered career women who don't realize their eggs are rotting away and their health.
two healthy kids from "old" eggs with NO interventions
VERY healthy kids . . .
What's your point?
If you live a healthy lifestyle, your body can produce some nice eggs, too!
Such jealousy from the young ones!
What does "young ones" mean? Why are you being so disrespectful to other "young mothers" who do not share this person's viewpoint?
Were not the "young ones" being disrespectful to us?
It goes both ways. Are you that dense?
No, but you are that defensive. Carry on, old hag.
Old hag is the best you can do?
Wow! I am impressed by your eloquence.
Anonymous
02/23/2012 17:26
Subject: Re:Do you wish you had your children younger
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:PP, you know 15 is below the age of consent, right? In many jurisdictions (including DC) that would be statutory rape. How do you discuss this with your kids?
What is your point? My husband and I have now been married for 10 years; we've been together since I was 13. Should I call the police and have him arrested now?
I teach my children the same thing that you hopefully teach yours: to abstain from sex until they are married/in a committed relationship.
As a high school teacher who has taught many pregnant teens, this is just so wrong on so many levels.
shudder
As a high school teacher, is this your best response? Or do you get off on being vague?
How is this vague? Experience doesn't count? Do you want data?
Have ever been around pregnant teens? interrupted education during pregnancy and after - And seldom do they graduate. This year alone I have ONE out of 5 who will graduate.
So unless you are in my "business," mind your own. And hope to God your daughter won't end up like my students. However, since you seem ignorant, PP, I have little hope for you own kids.
If your post is anything to go by, I suspect I know why many of your students are doomed. "ONE out of 5"?.........Perhaps you should take some refresher courses.
It's my fault that 5 of my female students are pregnant this year? and that only ONE will graduate?
So you're blaming teachers for parents' inability to properly guide their kids?
You must be a great parent, by the way, if you expect the schools to do YOUR job.
Are you lazy or incompetent? Or perhaps both?
pathetic
Anonymous
02/23/2012 17:23
Subject: Re:Do you wish you had your children younger
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:PP, you know 15 is below the age of consent, right? In many jurisdictions (including DC) that would be statutory rape. How do you discuss this with your kids?
What is your point? My husband and I have now been married for 10 years; we've been together since I was 13. Should I call the police and have him arrested now?
I teach my children the same thing that you hopefully teach yours: to abstain from sex until they are married/in a committed relationship.
As a high school teacher who has taught many pregnant teens, this is just so wrong on so many levels.
shudder
As a high school teacher, is this your best response? Or do you get off on being vague?
I too was waiting for at least a proffer of a pearl of wisdom on talking with our teens about sex.
Wait a moment . . .
Are you expecting teachers to train parents in how to discuss sex with their teens? Isn't that YOUR job?
If so, you're pathetic and need to at least drop in our health classes. Our health teacher is exemplary, by the way.
Anonymous
02/23/2012 17:23
Subject: Do you wish you had your children younger
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:too many self centered career women who don't realize their eggs are rotting away and their health.
two healthy kids from "old" eggs with NO interventions
VERY healthy kids . . .
What's your point?
If you live a healthy lifestyle, your body can produce some nice eggs, too!
Such jealousy from the young ones!
What does "young ones" mean? Why are you being so disrespectful to other "young mothers" who do not share this person's viewpoint?
Were not the "young ones" being disrespectful to us?
It goes both ways. Are you that dense?
No, but you are that defensive. Carry on, old hag.
Anonymous
02/23/2012 17:22
Subject: Re:Do you wish you had your children younger
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:PP, you know 15 is below the age of consent, right? In many jurisdictions (including DC) that would be statutory rape. How do you discuss this with your kids?
What is your point? My husband and I have now been married for 10 years; we've been together since I was 13. Should I call the police and have him arrested now?
I teach my children the same thing that you hopefully teach yours: to abstain from sex until they are married/in a committed relationship.
As a high school teacher who has taught many pregnant teens, this is just so wrong on so many levels.
shudder
As a high school teacher, is this your best response? Or do you get off on being vague?
How is this vague? Experience doesn't count? Do you want data?
Have ever been around pregnant teens? interrupted education during pregnancy and after - And seldom do they graduate. This year alone I have ONE out of 5 who will graduate.
So unless you are in my "business," mind your own. And hope to God your daughter won't end up like my students. However, since you seem ignorant, PP, I have little hope for you own kids.
If your post is anything to go by, I suspect I know why many of your students are doomed. "ONE out of 5"?.........Perhaps you should take some refresher courses.
Anonymous
02/23/2012 17:18
Subject: Do you wish you had your children younger
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:too many self centered career women who don't realize their eggs are rotting away and their health.
two healthy kids from "old" eggs with NO interventions
VERY healthy kids . . .
What's your point?
If you live a healthy lifestyle, your body can produce some nice eggs, too!
Such jealousy from the young ones!
What does "young ones" mean? Why are you being so disrespectful to other "young mothers" who do not share this person's viewpoint?
Were not the "young ones" being disrespectful to us?
It goes both ways. Are you that dense?
Anonymous
02/23/2012 17:16
Subject: Re:Do you wish you had your children younger
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:PP, you know 15 is below the age of consent, right? In many jurisdictions (including DC) that would be statutory rape. How do you discuss this with your kids?
What is your point? My husband and I have now been married for 10 years; we've been together since I was 13. Should I call the police and have him arrested now?
I teach my children the same thing that you hopefully teach yours: to abstain from sex until they are married/in a committed relationship.
As a high school teacher who has taught many pregnant teens, this is just so wrong on so many levels.
shudder
As a high school teacher, is this your best response? Or do you get off on being vague?
How is this vague? Experience doesn't count? Do you want data?
Have ever been around pregnant teens? interrupted education during pregnancy and after - And seldom do they graduate. This year alone I have ONE out of 5 who will graduate.
So unless you are in my "business," mind your own. And hope to God your daughter won't end up like my students. However, since you seem ignorant, PP, I have little hope for you own kids.
Anonymous
02/23/2012 17:16
Subject: Do you wish you had your children younger
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:"My parents (who were separated) were upset, but not overly so."
Did they know you were dating at 13? Did they teach you about birth control? Did you receive any public assistance, food stamps, WIC, Medicaid, etc.?
LOL....Aren't you the inquisitive one?
-No, my mother didn't know I was "dating". I used to skip school early and hang out at my husband's place (while his Mom worked) or at his sister's (who was older and also WOH). I was an "A" student, so my grades never suffered. I probably only skipped school every other week or so...if that often.
-No, my mother didn't want to talk about birth control. I was 13, so I guess she imagined she had time. I did tell her "Mom, I'm ready", but it was very casual and she gave me a "Yeah right" response. I, also, for some really weird reason, wanted a baby. My husband (BF at the time) and I were somehow convinced that we wanted a baby and we took no precautions to prevent pregnancy. Of course, as soon as I had the "I really don't need a baby right now" epiphany, I realized I was pregnant.
-I lived in public housing until I moved out with my husband (then BF) at 19. My mother was on welfare while I was growing up and thinking back, I'm almost positive that I rec'd aid for my daughter for at least a year (through my mother's benefits). Pretty sure we were on Medicaid too. I've been working since the age of 16 and was making $25k at 19 when I moved out. Have never rec'd any other form of assistance since I was 18 years old. We are comfortably middle-class.
Should also mention that I did go to college (sometimes PT, sometimes FT) and have my B.A.
Anonymous
02/23/2012 17:15
Subject: Do you wish you had your children younger
Anonymous wrote:"My parents (who were separated) were upset, but not overly so."
Did they know you were dating at 13? Did they teach you about birth control? Did you receive any public assistance, food stamps, WIC, Medicaid, etc.?
LOL....Aren't you the inquisitive one?
-No, my mother didn't know I was "dating". I used to skip school early and hang out at my husband's place (while his Mom worked) or at his sister's (who was older and also WOH). I was an "A" student, so my grades never suffered. I probably only skipped school every other week or so...if that often.
-No, my mother didn't want to talk about birth control. I was 13, so I guess she imagined she had time. I did tell her "Mom, I'm ready", but it was very casual and she gave me a "Yeah right" response. I, also, for some really weird reason, wanted a baby. My husband (BF at the time) and I were somehow convinced that we wanted a baby and we took no precautions to prevent pregnancy. Of course, as soon as I had the "I really don't need a baby right now" epiphany, I realized I was pregnant.
-I lived in public housing until I moved out with my husband (then BF) at 19. My mother was on welfare while I was growing up and thinking back, I'm almost positive that I rec'd aid for my daughter for at least a year (through my mother's benefits). Pretty sure we were on Medicaid too. I've been working since the age of 16 and was making $25k at 19 when I moved out. Have never rec'd any other form of assistance since I was 18 years old. We are comfortably middle-class.
Anonymous
02/23/2012 17:07
Subject: Do you wish you had your children younger
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:too many self centered career women who don't realize their eggs are rotting away and their health.
two healthy kids from "old" eggs with NO interventions
VERY healthy kids . . .
What's your point?
If you live a healthy lifestyle, your body can produce some nice eggs, too!
Such jealousy from the young ones!
What does "young ones" mean? Why are you being so disrespectful to other "young mothers" who do not share this person's viewpoint?
Anonymous
02/23/2012 17:05
Subject: Re:Do you wish you had your children younger
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Back on topic: If I could have everything I have now, but just be younger, yes. I am 45 with a 6 year old and a 5 month old. At 38 with my first, it wasn't so bad. At 45 with my second, everything hurts, and I am pretty fit.
That being said, DH is 50 and he and I still run around chasing the 6 y.o. and playing. They do keep you young.
DH will be 69 and I'll be 63 when no. 2 graduates from high school. 73 and 67 when she gets out of college. Then we'll travel the world (oh, wait, we did that before kids).
If you're alive then.
I could also be dead tomorrow. I am not going to live life as if I am going to die at a certain time. I lost my father to cancer when I was 10. It hurt, but showered with love, I came out ok, and better than some whose dads were around until they were ancient like me.
I'd much rather bring a child into a stable, happy marriage. I didn't settle just to get married and spit out kids. I spent time getting to be married and enjoy it for a couple of years to make a stable home before having a kid. Took us a while to have a fortuitous second.
My regret is more for my kids to get to know their grandparents. I hope my mom, who was older when I was born, will be around a long time for my younger child.
Anonymous
02/23/2012 17:03
Subject: Do you wish you had your children younger
"My parents (who were separated) were upset, but not overly so."
Did they know you were dating at 13? Did they teach you about birth control? Did you receive any public assistance, food stamps, WIC, Medicaid, etc.?
Did they know you were dating at 13? Did they teach you about birth control? Did you receive any public assistance, food stamps, WIC, Medicaid, etc.?
Anonymous
02/23/2012 17:02
Subject: Re:Do you wish you had your children younger
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:PP, you know 15 is below the age of consent, right? In many jurisdictions (including DC) that would be statutory rape. How do you discuss this with your kids?
What is your point? My husband and I have now been married for 10 years; we've been together since I was 13. Should I call the police and have him arrested now?
I teach my children the same thing that you hopefully teach yours: to abstain from sex until they are married/in a committed relationship.
As a high school teacher who has taught many pregnant teens, this is just so wrong on so many levels.
shudder
As a high school teacher, is this your best response? Or do you get off on being vague?
I too was waiting for at least a proffer of a pearl of wisdom on talking with our teens about sex.