SAHMs who say those things turn me off, too, as a potential employer. Unless you had mitigating circumstances, don't you think that I, too, as a mother struggled with work-life blame/childcare issues? It's not the WOTH moms who are belittling, its the SAHMs who say that stuff.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do not say in the interview or in the workplace:

"My family comes first."

"I don't trust child care."

"I wouldn't trade any thing for the time I spent with my children."

+1000

+1,000,00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000!!!!!!!!

Oh my god OP you really sound insecure (and bitter) about your choices and you are letting them seep into your professional life.
Maybe you should consider becoming a SAHM.
And if you are so very important how do you keep having time to post this shit on DCUM?

Anonymous wrote:I am now beginning to think about returning to work after almost 10 years-I had no idea that there was so much contempt for me out there

I don't think it's contempt. There is a dog-eat-dog market for jobs out there. Unless you are competing for an entry-level position, almost everyone you are interviewing against is going to have more experience than you do. And someone with less experience that is more recent is probably still going to have a bit of an edge. Tough situation.

Anonymous wrote:I am now beginning to think about returning to work after almost 10 years-I had no idea that there was so much contempt for me out there

Man here. I might be looking for a new job soon. Please stay at home for 1 more year. I'll let you know when it's okay to return.
Thanks

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I interviewed a lovely woman who explained a four year gap in her resume by saying that she took time off as the only child to care for her terminally ill mother. Had no problem hiring her (and she's doing great!). That's way different that a SAHP situation though.

So different on so many levels.

I agree. This is not a choice most people ever have to make. The decision about whether to stay in the workforce after kids is almost universal so whoever is interviewing is going to bring their own experience to bear when judging the candidate. What a minefield.

I am now beginning to think about returning to work after almost 10 years-I had no idea that there was so much contempt for me out there

Anonymous wrote:I interviewed a lovely woman who explained a four year gap in her resume by saying that she took time off as the only child to care for her terminally ill mother. Had no problem hiring her (and she's doing great!). That's way different that a SAHP situation though.

So different on so many levels.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:and please do not say anything about your children other than you have childcare covered.

why?? double standard, right?

No. I don't want to hear from any interview candidates, male or female, previously SAH or not, anything about their children during an interview.

What if the candidate explains that she stayed home because her DC had special needs (which were now under control)?

See, I don't think you need to explain. The more information you give, the more people are free to speculate or judge (see the first PP who answered you). A simple answer, followed by reasons why you are qualified for the job should be enough. Any more and you are inviting people into your personal life. Not something you want to do in an interview.

I interviewed a lovely woman who explained a four year gap in her resume by saying that she took time off as the only child to care for her terminally ill mother. Had no problem hiring her (and she's doing great!). That's way different that a SAHP situation though.

Anonymous wrote:
What's a vaginia?

It's NOT a vaginia, dammit! It's a VULVINIA!

Then I'm going to use up precious interview time asking what the candidate means by "now under control." Live in help? Spouse quit to SAH? Hiring is a very expensive endeavor, I need judge whether the SN child might at some point no longer be "under control," to the best of my ability at that point in time.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:and please do not say anything about your children other than you have childcare covered.

why?? double standard, right?

No. I don't want to hear from any interview candidates, male or female, previously SAH or not, anything about their children during an interview.

What if the candidate explains that she stayed home because her DC had special needs (which were now under control)?

bah, *whether* not *weather*. ha.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The PP does bring up a valid point though. What do you say when asked about the gap? I'm the PP that asked a candidate once about her gap and she gave me the "didn't want to split my focus" answer. Not a good answer on many levels. I would have simply preferred something like "I decided to take a break from my career when we had young children, but during that break I did X, Y, and Z, or I went back to school, or....anything but what she said.

What's the best answer you've heard hiring managers?

I've heard some good ones:

"I moved with my husband who is active duty military, so I found I could not continue my previous job. I took advantage of the time and did [volunteered on base, etc.]"

That's a good one. BUT, I don't think I really want someone to justify why they quit to stay home. Sometimes people stay home because they can or they wanted to and it's not really up to me to judge weather it was a good enough reason.....or is it? Is that what you're expected to answer to when you want to come back? And don't you run the risk of offending anyone who didn't make the same choice if you didn't have a compelling reason like the one you stated? Is it good enough just to say "I chose to take a break while I had young kids, but [this is why I am qualified for the job]" ? Or not?

All of these questions are making it very clear to me why taking a break is NOT a good idea for me to consider down the road.