Anonymous wrote:OP here. So what would be a good time frame for the get together, if we do it at our house and make it appetizers and cake/desserts? I was thinking 8-midnight. Is that too long? I have no idea really.

Anonymous wrote:Are you a hoarder? Swinger? Have a stripped pole in your living room? Why are you anxious about your home now when you had planned to have everyone over for cake/drinks anyway. Just add in some munchies from Trader Joe's or Costco as suggested above and voila. Make sure the bathroom is clean and NO ONE will care, they'll be happy to hang out.

Anonymous wrote:Are you a hoarder? Swinger? Have a stripped pole in your living room? Why are you anxious about your home now when you had planned to have everyone over for cake/drinks anyway. Just add in some munchies from Trader Joe's or Costco as suggested above and voila. Make sure the bathroom is clean and NO ONE will care, they'll be happy to hang out.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, the logistics of dinner out and then party back at your house are odd anyway. I would be annoyed at having to drive/metro to dinner, then get back to your house. Why does the party have to be in 2 locations? I think you should just do a later evening cake/snack/drinks at your house and call it a day.

Are you going to get everything set for the party before dinner and then go back to the house and make guest stand around and wait while you scramble to open bottles of wine, heat food, cut the cake, etc?

It is clear by your initial plan that you must not entertain a lot and have not thought through the logistics.

You are absolutey right. We do not entertain much. When we do entertain it's always a homemade brunch for friends at our place, which has always been well received because I always make lots of food and make sure it is presented beautifully. I have no experience with any other kind of entertaining.

With the exception of one couple, we also haven't had these friends over to our house before. These are all newish friends, as DH and I are newer to the area. Maybe that would be too much--having them all over for the first time for a birthday celebration? That's why I was thinking the restaurant idea might be better. I am worried about what they will think when they come to our house.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, what is the "norm" for your group when it comes to birthday dinners?

I don't have a group. DH and I moved here from the West Coast 3 years ago and just started really making some good friends in the last year through book clubs, volunteering, etc. So I don't have a group and while we have been invited to birthday dinners, they have always been potluck birthday dinners via e-vite where the hostess expects everyone to contribute an entree. I never saw anything wrong with that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP i think you need to skip doing a dinner out for your husband, with anyone other than the two of you. You can't invite people at all, evite or not, to his birthday dinner and expect them to pay for themselves. Even though you're unemployed, people are going to be surprised when you don't pay, and they'll talk about it, although probably not to your face.

Can you have people over for appetizers and drinks?

I could invite them for appetizers and drinks, but now I'm second guessing the whole idea of a party at our house. With the exception of one of the couples, none of them have been over to our house because they're all new friends. I'm worried about what they're going to think when they come over. Plus I have very little experience entertaining other than having brunches for one or two couples at a time at our house. I'm worried I will do a bad job of entertaining.

Anonymous wrote:OP, you need to get a grip (imagine you're Prissy and Miss Scarlett is smacking you). This is what you do. Have the party at your house. Got to Trader Joe's or Cosco or wherever and buy some meatballs, tartlets, cheeses, etc. Wrap some asparagus in prosciutto, wrap a small brie wheel in phyllo, buy a reasonably priced cake, lots of wine, beer, champagne, a little liquor, and have a blast.

You're making way too much out of this and pressuring yourself. My guess is that eventually, the stress it's causing you will transfer to your husband, and you'll make him miserable. Really, does your husband care whether or not you all go to a restaurant? I doubt it. If I was a guest, I'd much rather go to a house party where I can laugh, mingle, nibble on small bites, and enjoy the company of my hosts and friends. And then later, I could steal the hostess' Xanax and pass out in her bathroom in my own vomit. Anyway, have a rip-roaring party at home, and enjoy yourself. Flirt with your husband all night and whisper dirty things in his ear, promising something delicious later. Have sex on your guests' coats or sneak off to some dark corner of the house. I'm guessing your husband would prefer that over dinner at the Palm.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, what is the "norm" for your group when it comes to birthday dinners?

I don't have a group. DH and I moved here from the West Coast 3 years ago and just started really making some good friends in the last year through book clubs, volunteering, etc. So I don't have a group and while we have been invited to birthday dinners, they have always been potluck birthday dinners via e-vite where the hostess expects everyone to contribute an entree. I never saw anything wrong with that.