Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sat my husband down for a serious conversation about all of my shortcomings. Informed him that she, as his mother, could tell that he was unhappy when I was around. (He was previously unaware of this "fact".) And the worst part is, he thinks she walks on water, so he took her very seriously, and sat ME down for a conversation about all of my shortcomings. Again, none of these complaints were his. He just takes everything she says to be gospel truth. If she said that he looked miserable when I walked into a room, well, he must be miserable. And so it's on me to make a change.

You married this guy?

Yes. That is why I refer to him as my husband.

Didn't you ever hear the sage advice to watch how a potential husband treats his mother, to gauge his respect for women? I was thrilled to see that he treated her like a queen. And in fairness, he has always treated me with great respect and affection, never pulled any macho bullshit, always done more than his share of the housework and parenting. It just turns out that her opinion still matters to him more than pretty much anything else. And this would be fine, if she hadn't taken against me at some point. We're fine now, but I will never trust her like I did in the early years.

Except when he sat you down to discuss your shortcomings.

We went to dinner at my now MIL's house the Christmas after my DH and I got engaged. When I arrived she handed me this lovely wrapped gift and said Merry Christmas. When I attempted to put it aside she insisted that I open. I agreed and opened the box and out came a tiny black negligee complete with G string. I looked at her in horror and she smiled and said "guess you two better get going on those grandkids".

BTW, her house was packed with other members of DH's extended family. The woman knows no boundaries.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sat my husband down for a serious conversation about all of my shortcomings. Informed him that she, as his mother, could tell that he was unhappy when I was around. (He was previously unaware of this "fact".) And the worst part is, he thinks she walks on water, so he took her very seriously, and sat ME down for a conversation about all of my shortcomings. Again, none of these complaints were his. He just takes everything she says to be gospel truth. If she said that he looked miserable when I walked into a room, well, he must be miserable. And so it's on me to make a change.

You married this guy?

Yes. That is why I refer to him as my husband.

Didn't you ever hear the sage advice to watch how a potential husband treats his mother, to gauge his respect for women? I was thrilled to see that he treated her like a queen. And in fairness, he has always treated me with great respect and affection, never pulled any macho bullshit, always done more than his share of the housework and parenting. It just turns out that her opinion still matters to him more than pretty much anything else. And this would be fine, if she hadn't taken against me at some point. We're fine now, but I will never trust her like I did in the early years.

She's done a lot of things to tick me off over the years, but the one that really hurt my feelings was when she gave my daughter a really short haircut (her first!) without asking my permission. It was horrible--made her look like a boy. It sounds dumb but my mother always made me wear my hair short as a kid so I was planning on letting my daughter grow it as long as she wanted. I almost fainted when I saw her and even though I've moved on and forgiven her it was rough going for a while there.

I'm so sorry to all the posters dealing with racist, crazy, mean MILs. Hang in there!

This is nowhere near as bad as some others here, so I shouldn't complain, but it still upsets me every time I think about it:

DH had to be out of town for work for two weeks when DD was 5 through 7 weeks old. MIL (who lives out of town) happened to be in town during that same two week period house sitting for my BIL and his family who were out of town on vacation. So, MIL and I were the only ones in the family in town (my family lives far away). During that time, she purposely didn't call, come by, or make plans with me and when I called her, she made excuses why she couldn't come see me and the baby. We saw each other once the whole two weeks, when I went to BIL's house to see her. She told me later that she stayed away on purpose so that I would know that I was capable of taking care of DD on my own with no help. Of COURSE I can take care of DD on my own, but a little break, to get out of the house, or to take a little nap, or even just a visit to come see your own grandchild would have been nice! This was years ago, and we've always had a good relationship more or less, and she's a wonderful grandmother, so I shouldn't complain, but I've always thought that was just crazy.

12:04 - I know people like this. They are spiteful and lonely and their bitterness has nothing to do with you. They can't even handle their own lives and resort to desperate attempts at attacking others they admire. Stay away. Remember this.

When DH and I married, DH was broke. B-R-O-K-E. His car barely ran and he lived in a small, run down, dirty, really smelly condo. I left my beautiful house, moved into the condo and scraped, painted and scrubbed and scraped some more, and made it a home (as best as anyone could). Life has pretty much been the same ever since, in one major way or another. MIL has nothing to complain about, but she does anyway. No one appreciated her (she was a needy PITA and has zero common sense or capabilities); so she will be damned if she will appreciate self sufficient me.

She protested DH marrying me because I was too fat and said I would bleed DH dry of all his money (he was unemployed when we got engaged & I've always made a lot more money than DH). After the wedding, she sent all her relatives a seriously unflattering picture of me with my mouth open about to take a bite of food (see too fat comment above) to introduce me to the relatives (because none of them have anything to do with her, so none came to the wedding). She also told everyone I was an alcoholic (I don't even drink & neither do they) and all of my Christmas and birthday gifts from their family for years were alcohol related.

I wasn't allowed to be in the wedding photos at my BIL's wedding. It was four weeks before our own wedding, and my DH's six brothers and their wives were in the family photo, but MIL didn't think her son was actually going to go through with the marriage to me, so she arranged to have me busy with the cake cutting while the family photos were taken. DH was looking all over for me, and MIL said that they would get everyone back together for another photo later. Of course they didn't. Sad thing is, I felt so honored to be asked to cut the cake. It really hurt me to know why I was given this task.

She took me into the kitchen halfway through my first dinner with them when DH and I were dating. I thought she wanted a little bonding timewith her son's new serious girlfriend and was very surprised when she said "You are using birth control, aren't you?". After I caught my breath I told her that I wasn't sleeping with her son, yet. She then claimed that many women had tried to trap her son, and she was looking out for him. I still can't believe I married into this family. Thankfully DH is a sweetheart, and he wisked me far away from them, and I only have to see them once or twice a year.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Scheduled father in laws funeral 3 years ago on my birthday. She knew it was my birthday and had other dates to choose from.

Okay, sorry, you're the self-absorbed one here. It was her husbands funeral! Dear God, your birthday is pretty low on priorities in this situation.

Agree completely with the PP.

I am with you OP, they should have at least done a birthday shout out to you during the funeral. That or a birthday cake on FIL's casket. What horrible inlaws you have. And the nerve of your FIL dying right before your birthday. I sure hope he managed to buy you a gift before he kicked the bucket.

She had very expensive birth announcements made for our first DD. She did not ask me what I wanted or even if I wanted her to do them. She spent WAY too much money on them and then sent them out without telling us. I was shocked to receive an announcement for my own DD, that I didn't send. And I am not talking about a "new grandchild" announcement. They said that on such and such date, my daughter was born. It did list DH and I as the parents. This was just the beginning of MIL's delusion that somehow her first grandaughter was the daughter she never had. It took a year of constant battles to get this woman to stop acting like a crazy lady. She got to babysit DD for three days when our nanny was sick. MIL would sit in a chair and just stare at the baby. She wouldn't talk or even entertain DD. She would just hold her and stare at her. I could see doing this for a few minutes, but it went on all day long. I came home early from work. And until I said "please give me the baby", she just sat and stared at her. Of course once DD could walk and run and speak her mind, MIL moved on to greener pastures.

I can't beat racism or crime but here's my gripe:

--we scheduled baby's first Christmas with them (an NO other family) and she didn't show b/c she wasn't feeling well. (she suffers from a serious disease: hypochondria).

--We MOVED THE Christening to accommodate her husband's surgery and guess what: They didn't show b/c HER hypochondria was acting up!

after that I told DH no more re-schedules. and no more special accommodations. DC is near the time when they form memories and there is no way that she's going to make him feel like grammie doesn't love her.

anyway, she's always telling me to call her more, visit more. I work full time while she SAH and her only child is 34. I am guessing that it is easier for her to pack and travel than me and my pile-o-baby-crap.

On the other hand, I have a step-mother-in-law. She was an evil bitch to me up until I had my DC. now she's nice and thoughtful...i'm glad but wonder when it will end (DC is 2).

and here's to the people with horrible moms:
Mine didn't come to my doctoral graduation even though I purchased her plane ticket. She didn't come to my wedding either which weird-ed out my DH's family. But she's at least crazy and I know it.

She suggested we kill my pug and make a purse out of her coat. She is chinese and grew up eating dog.... same women that coughed during the vows above! I have to keep reminding myself that she brought my wonderful hubby into this world!

Anonymous wrote:Sat my husband down for a serious conversation about all of my shortcomings. Informed him that she, as his mother, could tell that he was unhappy when I was around. (He was previously unaware of this "fact".) And the worst part is, he thinks she walks on water, so he took her very seriously, and sat ME down for a conversation about all of my shortcomings. Again, none of these complaints were his. He just takes everything she says to be gospel truth. If she said that he looked miserable when I walked into a room, well, he must be miserable. And so it's on me to make a change.

You married this guy?