Do you have as hard a time as I do? Or have you found a way to cope?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I've thought about it. Not because I don't love my husband but because I can't live with him. He creates a huge clutter mess where-ever he goes. He doesn't throw things away, doesn't put things away, etc. If I took photos of his workshop and office, you'd see exactly what I mean. I showed photos of his office to a mental health professional once who said "this is more than just a clutter problem".

I agree. He doesn't open his mail either and used to yell at me for doing it, saying it was a Federal offense, but after a few checks for thousands of dollars expired because he let them sit without opening them for over a year, he shut up about this.

I can't keep up without exhausting myself. He also doesn't really believe in maintaining a house, so I've lived with holes in doors, cracks in ceilings, etc. I can physically only do so much. I am in my early 50s and won't be able to keep up the pace I do in old age, so I am thinking about leaving just so I can live in place that doesn't make my head hurt looking at it. I don't want to be one of those old people they find crushed under clutter.

The only saving grace is that he doesn't tolerate food mess so what lies around are just objects, not disgusting things. Still, it's hard to live with.

OMG, I think we are married to the same person.

I'm also with a clone of this guy. If we could swing it financially, I would love to live near him, just not with him. Once the kids are grown, I'll see what can be done. On so many levels, it's draining to live with a depressive who considers himself visiting royalty at home.

Anonymous wrote:

I've thought about it. Not because I don't love my husband but because I can't live with him. He creates a huge clutter mess where-ever he goes. He doesn't throw things away, doesn't put things away, etc. If I took photos of his workshop and office, you'd see exactly what I mean. I showed photos of his office to a mental health professional once who said "this is more than just a clutter problem".

I agree. He doesn't open his mail either and used to yell at me for doing it, saying it was a Federal offense, but after a few checks for thousands of dollars expired because he let them sit without opening them for over a year, he shut up about this.

I can't keep up without exhausting myself. He also doesn't really believe in maintaining a house, so I've lived with holes in doors, cracks in ceilings, etc. I can physically only do so much. I am in my early 50s and won't be able to keep up the pace I do in old age, so I am thinking about leaving just so I can live in place that doesn't make my head hurt looking at it. I don't want to be one of those old people they find crushed under clutter.

The only saving grace is that he doesn't tolerate food mess so what lies around are just objects, not disgusting things. Still, it's hard to live with.

OMG, I think we are married to the same person.

Anonymous wrote:

05/26/2013 13:03 Subject: Do you think you might get divorced once the kids are grown?
Anonymous



I stayed in a soul sucking, mind numbing, miserable marriage for the sake of the kids. DH dropped dead of a heart attack at age 40, and I was instantly free.

Lordy, lordy, free at last.

Signed
Merry Widow, there are lots of us.

You keep posting this and it is really ghoulish. To rejoice at the death of your children's father speaks volumes about who you are as a person. You were free to walk away at any time. Your glee at the death of your husband is disgusting.

Anonymous wrote:

I've thought about it. Not because I don't love my husband but because I can't live with him. He creates a huge clutter mess where-ever he goes. He doesn't throw things away, doesn't put things away, etc. If I took photos of his workshop and office, you'd see exactly what I mean. I showed photos of his office to a mental health professional once who said "this is more than just a clutter problem".

I agree. He doesn't open his mail either and used to yell at me for doing it, saying it was a Federal offense, but after a few checks for thousands of dollars expired because he let them sit without opening them for over a year, he shut up about this.

I can't keep up without exhausting myself. He also doesn't really believe in maintaining a house, so I've lived with holes in doors, cracks in ceilings, etc. I can physically only do so much. I am in my early 50s and won't be able to keep up the pace I do in old age, so I am thinking about leaving just so I can live in place that doesn't make my head hurt looking at it. I don't want to be one of those old people they find crushed under clutter.

The only saving grace is that he doesn't tolerate food mess so what lies around are just objects, not disgusting things. Still, it's hard to live with.

OMG, I think we are married to the same person.

Anonymous wrote:I've thought about it. Not because I don't love my husband but because I can't live with him. He creates a huge clutter mess where-ever he goes. He doesn't throw things away, doesn't put things away, etc. If I took photos of his workshop and office, you'd see exactly what I mean. I showed photos of his office to a mental health professional once who said "this is more than just a clutter problem".

I agree. He doesn't open his mail either and used to yell at me for doing it, saying it was a Federal offense, but after a few checks for thousands of dollars expired because he let them sit without opening them for over a year, he shut up about this.

I can't keep up without exhausting myself. He also doesn't really believe in maintaining a house, so I've lived with holes in doors, cracks in ceilings, etc. I can physically only do so much. I am in my early 50s and won't be able to keep up the pace I do in old age, so I am thinking about leaving just so I can live in place that doesn't make my head hurt looking at it. I don't want to be one of those old people they find crushed under clutter.

The only saving grace is that he doesn't tolerate food mess so what lies around are just objects, not disgusting things. Still, it's hard to live with.

05/26/2013 13:03 Subject: Do you think you might get divorced once the kids are grown?
Anonymous



I stayed in a soul sucking, mind numbing, miserable marriage for the sake of the kids. DH dropped dead of a heart attack at age 40, and I was instantly free.

Lordy, lordy, free at last.

Signed
Merry Widow, there are lots of us.

Anonymous wrote:

I've thought about it. Not because I don't love my husband but because I can't live with him. He creates a huge clutter mess where-ever he goes. He doesn't throw things away, doesn't put things away, etc. If I took photos of his workshop and office, you'd see exactly what I mean. I showed photos of his office to a mental health professional once who said "this is more than just a clutter problem".

I agree. He doesn't open his mail either and used to yell at me for doing it, saying it was a Federal offense, but after a few checks for thousands of dollars expired because he let them sit without opening them for over a year, he shut up about this.

I can't keep up without exhausting myself. He also doesn't really believe in maintaining a house, so I've lived with holes in doors, cracks in ceilings, etc. I can physically only do so much. I am in my early 50s and won't be able to keep up the pace I do in old age, so I am thinking about leaving just so I can live in place that doesn't make my head hurt looking at it. I don't want to be one of those old people they find crushed under clutter.

The only saving grace is that he doesn't tolerate food mess so what lies around are just objects, not disgusting things. Still, it's hard to live with.

OMG, I think we are married to the same person.

Anonymous wrote:I can't imagine being celibate for the next 50 years of my life. So unless he figures out what the hell the problem is, I might find myself singe after our youngest heads to college.

Anonymous wrote:Depends on what is going on in the family.I begged my parents to get divorced at at minimum get separated when I was 8. They waited 'til we were both out of the house.Hate their decision, nobody benefited.My sister also hates her childhood when it comes to family dynamics. All we wanted was peace and quiet and that our parents were happy. We got no peace and quiet, and mom was miserable as hell.

Anonymous wrote:I've thought about it. Not because I don't love my husband but because I can't live with him. He creates a huge clutter mess where-ever he goes. He doesn't throw things away, doesn't put things away, etc. If I took photos of his workshop and office, you'd see exactly what I mean. I showed photos of his office to a mental health professional once who said "this is more than just a clutter problem".

I agree. He doesn't open his mail either and used to yell at me for doing it, saying it was a Federal offense, but after a few checks for thousands of dollars expired because he let them sit without opening them for over a year, he shut up about this.

I can't keep up without exhausting myself. He also doesn't really believe in maintaining a house, so I've lived with holes in doors, cracks in ceilings, etc. I can physically only do so much. I am in my early 50s and won't be able to keep up the pace I do in old age, so I am thinking about leaving just so I can live in place that doesn't make my head hurt looking at it. I don't want to be one of those old people they find crushed under clutter.

The only saving grace is that he doesn't tolerate food mess so what lies around are just objects, not disgusting things. Still, it's hard to live with.

I've thought about it. Not because I don't love my husband but because I can't live with him. He creates a huge clutter mess where-ever he goes. He doesn't throw things away, doesn't put things away, etc. If I took photos of his workshop and office, you'd see exactly what I mean. I showed photos of his office to a mental health professional once who said "this is more than just a clutter problem".

I agree. He doesn't open his mail either and used to yell at me for doing it, saying it was a Federal offense, but after a few checks for thousands of dollars expired because he let them sit without opening them for over a year, he shut up about this.

I can't keep up without exhausting myself. He also doesn't really believe in maintaining a house, so I've lived with holes in doors, cracks in ceilings, etc. I can physically only do so much. I am in my early 50s and won't be able to keep up the pace I do in old age, so I am thinking about leaving just so I can live in place that doesn't make my head hurt looking at it. I don't want to be one of those old people they find crushed under clutter.

The only saving grace is that he doesn't tolerate food mess so what lies around are just objects, not disgusting things. Still, it's hard to live with.