Anonymous
Post 01/15/2012 14:19     Subject: i HATE thank you notes...
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I hate them too. So I don't write them. I figure if a simple verbal "thank you" isn't enough, then the person who is giving the gift is expecting too much.


I give less frequently to people who don't write thank you notes. It takes, what, five minutes a note?


I don't care.


Cool, then I won't waste my time or money buying, wrapping and sending you a gift.
Anonymous
Post 01/15/2012 13:46     Subject: i HATE thank you notes...
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I hate thank you notes, don't do them, ever.

Thank you email and in person. That's it.

Suck it.


Am I the only one who finds the attitudes of the "anti-thank you note" crowd aggressively negative and off-putting? "Suck it?" Really? I took the trouble to select, buy, wrap and deliver a gift and this is the response I get? I don't think I would ever want to be friends with you, much less give you a gift.


I don't care. 8)


Now I'm sure that I don't want to know you, much less be friends with you.
Anonymous
Post 01/14/2012 17:15     Subject: Re:i HATE thank you notes...
add
Anonymous
Post 01/14/2012 17:14     Subject: i HATE thank you notes...
Anonymous wrote:12:20 - YOU GOT IT!!!


+1,000,000,000.


People, you an only ad one. Unless you are representing India or China, you can't add a billion people to an opinion.
Anonymous
Post 01/14/2012 17:14     Subject: Re:i HATE thank you notes...
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
when my MIL shared a complaint with me and I offered that explanation, she suggested that I might call a friend or hire someone to come and sit with the baby for an afternoon so that I could finish the thank you notes.



For Grandma and MIL's friends -- anyone who wouldn't recognize your handwriting -- maybe you could have hired someone to actually write them. Just consider her your temporary social secretary.


Do you really think this is necessary?

Unfortunately, we can't afford that. I work for a non-profit. That's why we got so many presents. Many were from clients or people I've helped. I never meant to imply that I didn't want to thank people for their presents. Just sharing that it was very difficult for me. I'd be much more inclined to put the genuine people in front of the people who just want a thank you at all costs. I would NEVER waste money on hiring someone, even if I had that kind of money. People can wait a month or so for their dang thank you!

Can't believe I let myself get pissed off about this again. But really, it was a HUGE albatross after I gave birth and when I was already spending time I didn't have to write them, to get the complaints just made me crazy mad. I cried more than once. More than twice, actually. In the end, my husband did end up trying to help, but it took him about 4 times as long as me to write them, and he'd keep asking me what to write. But like I said, I think it is probably not fair for him to have to write all of those, either. I guess it's not really typical to get that many gifts, but we got a TON from family, too, they weren't all work related.
Anonymous
Post 01/14/2012 16:56     Subject: i HATE thank you notes...
12:20 - YOU GOT IT!!!


+1,000,000,000.
Anonymous
Post 01/14/2012 16:53     Subject: Re:i HATE thank you notes...
Anonymous wrote:
when my MIL shared a complaint with me and I offered that explanation, she suggested that I might call a friend or hire someone to come and sit with the baby for an afternoon so that I could finish the thank you notes.



For Grandma and MIL's friends -- anyone who wouldn't recognize your handwriting -- maybe you could have hired someone to actually write them. Just consider her your temporary social secretary.
Anonymous
Post 01/14/2012 16:49     Subject: Re:i HATE thank you notes...
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:If someone can take the time to find, purchase, wrap, and send a gift, the least I can do is write a note and stick it in an envelope to say "thanks".


Not to mention the time it takes to log on to DCUM and complain about the 350 gifts your DC received.

You're entitled little twits who have no time for anyone but yourselves.

At least that's what the 350 people who sent your kid gifts are thinking right now, because you can't bring yourself to write a simple thank you note.


Just like you can't bring yourself to be anything but a raging bitch, not to mention you can't bring yourself to actually read what I wrote.

Not only did I write a simple thank you note, I wrote 350 of them. I just didn't write them quickly enough to please the biddies like you in our lives who were all "oh, hi, it's Janice. Did Cindy receive our baby gift? We sent it almost four weeks ago and we never did get a thank you. I was a bit surprised she didn't bother to thank me." Meantime, I had a baby who screamed literally all day and night, slept only on me, and no family anywhere. We'd moved recently so I didn't really even have a friend to call up, but when my MIL shared a complaint with me and I offered that explanation, she suggested that I might call a friend or hire someone to come and sit with the baby for an afternoon so that I could finish the thank you notes. Oh yes, that's what new mothers, if they are actually willing to leave their baby that long, should do with the time they free up. Sit down and drill out thank you notes. I tried to write two or three a day, every day. I spent about 25 minutes on them on average, every day. (it's great for those of you who can spend 5 mins on them, that's not my super power). I wrote them in the order of receipt. My own grandmother, who knew our struggles with colic and the medical issues DS had going on early on, called me and asked about the status of the thank yous, telling that her church friends were "whispering about it." This was about 5 weeks PP. I told her I was writing them in order of receipt and she asked me if I could move her friends to the front, because they are "sticklers." I was tempted to drop those "sticklers" off of my thank you list altogether, but I decided against it in the end.

In the meantime, when I see the people I heard complained, I smile cooly, answer their greeting and move on as quickly as possible. I do not care if they think I'm an etiquette breaker. Wanna know another etiquette rule? It' is considered poor manners to embarrass someone about their poor manners. If someone takes your bread at lunch, for instance, you simply adjust rather than to call attention to their gaffe. Same goes for gifts. All the "experts" are sticklers on this rule, too. But I guess you biddies missed that one? Another rule of the experts? They counsel against retaliating by not giving gifts to people who don't thank you. But I'll actually agree that you should not give a gift. Personally, I would SO MUCH RATHER not get a gift from someone who doesn't really want to give it, so much as wants to check a box and make sure I check a box in return. How tedious the whole thing is.

So, for those without reading comprehension, I wrote the notes. I wrote personal and nice notes. I simply didn't write them fast enough. I'm sure nobody realized how many gifts I received. But isn't it also good manners to give people the benefit of the doubt? I'd never make a mental note of someone who didn't thank me fast enough. Gross that some of you are like that.


BTW, if you had read, my thank you note problems were years ago. My kids are older now and I've got plenty of time to write thank you notes and I do, just like I did then. I was talking very specifically about the newborn period, which I personally believe should be exempted from the obligation, and at the least, people should understand when they're not prompt. And thanks for calling me a little twit. Your assumptions are obvious, but you're incorrect on all of them.
Anonymous
Post 01/14/2012 16:47     Subject: i HATE thank you notes...
Anonymous wrote:How nice that you RECEIVED 350 newborn gifts. I'm shocked that someone as ungrateful and entitled as you are received ANY much less that many.


Actually, I wish I had not gotten any. we didn't need them and donated nearly everything. I did write thank you notes, btw. I'm sorry I didn't write them fast enough to satisfy someone like you, who only has manners on her mind, not kindness. Oh, wait. I'm totally NOT sorry. Grandma.
Anonymous
Post 01/14/2012 16:46     Subject: Re:i HATE thank you notes...
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:If someone can take the time to find, purchase, wrap, and send a gift, the least I can do is write a note and stick it in an envelope to say "thanks".


Not to mention the time it takes to log on to DCUM and complain about the 350 gifts your DC received.

You're entitled little twits who have no time for anyone but yourselves.

At least that's what the 350 people who sent your kid gifts are thinking right now, because you can't bring yourself to write a simple thank you note.


Just like you can't bring yourself to be anything but a raging bitch, not to mention you can't bring yourself to actually read what I wrote.

Not only did I write a simple thank you note, I wrote 350 of them. I just didn't write them quickly enough to please the biddies like you in our lives who were all "oh, hi, it's Janice. Did Cindy receive our baby gift? We sent it almost four weeks ago and we never did get a thank you. I was a bit surprised she didn't bother to thank me." Meantime, I had a baby who screamed literally all day and night, slept only on me, and no family anywhere. We'd moved recently so I didn't really even have a friend to call up, but when my MIL shared a complaint with me and I offered that explanation, she suggested that I might call a friend or hire someone to come and sit with the baby for an afternoon so that I could finish the thank you notes. Oh yes, that's what new mothers, if they are actually willing to leave their baby that long, should do with the time they free up. Sit down and drill out thank you notes. I tried to write two or three a day, every day. I spent about 25 minutes on them on average, every day. (it's great for those of you who can spend 5 mins on them, that's not my super power). I wrote them in the order of receipt. My own grandmother, who knew our struggles with colic and the medical issues DS had going on early on, called me and asked about the status of the thank yous, telling that her church friends were "whispering about it." This was about 5 weeks PP. I told her I was writing them in order of receipt and she asked me if I could move her friends to the front, because they are "sticklers." I was tempted to drop those "sticklers" off of my thank you list altogether, but I decided against it in the end.

In the meantime, when I see the people I heard complained, I smile cooly, answer their greeting and move on as quickly as possible. I do not care if they think I'm an etiquette breaker. Wanna know another etiquette rule? It' is considered poor manners to embarrass someone about their poor manners. If someone takes your bread at lunch, for instance, you simply adjust rather than to call attention to their gaffe. Same goes for gifts. All the "experts" are sticklers on this rule, too. But I guess you biddies missed that one? Another rule of the experts? They counsel against retaliating by not giving gifts to people who don't thank you. But I'll actually agree that you should not give a gift. Personally, I would SO MUCH RATHER not get a gift from someone who doesn't really want to give it, so much as wants to check a box and make sure I check a box in return. How tedious the whole thing is.

So, for those without reading comprehension, I wrote the notes. I wrote personal and nice notes. I simply didn't write them fast enough. I'm sure nobody realized how many gifts I received. But isn't it also good manners to give people the benefit of the doubt? I'd never make a mental note of someone who didn't thank me fast enough. Gross that some of you are like that.
Anonymous
Post 01/14/2012 16:42     Subject: i HATE thank you notes...
How nice that you RECEIVED 350 newborn gifts. I'm shocked that someone as ungrateful and entitled as you are received ANY much less that many.
Anonymous
Post 01/14/2012 16:34     Subject: i HATE thank you notes...
Anonymous wrote:I'm the DH, and I write nearly all of the thank you notes in our family. If I didn't, my wife would never do them. She doesn't see it as important. And that annoys me, so I just do it. I do them for the kids bdays, and for Hanukkah/Xmas, our anniversary, etc. We split them when the kids were born, but now I do probably 95% of all notes. Ladies, your husbands CAN write them. Get with it.

I don't expect thank you notes from others except for wedding and baby gifts. It's appropriate.


350 newborn gifts here. My husband CAN write thank you notes. But, just like your wife, he chooses not to. Okay for you but not for me? My husband thinks thank you notes are absurd. Should I then have to write all of them? And also, who wants to write 175 thank you notes postpartum?

I also find it appalling that thank yous are expected for condolences. NO. I've never ever received a thank you for a condolence gift or flowers and I'm glad. Holy shit, talk about ridiculous.
Anonymous
Post 01/14/2012 16:25     Subject: Re:i HATE thank you notes...
Anonymous wrote:To the PP with PPD from writing notes...why didn't you write them before having your baby? My shower was weeks in advance of birth and I had plenty of time to write all the notes before being sleep deprived.

Anyway, I hate it when people don't write thank you notes/emails/calls for weddings and baby showers. In fact, if I don't get a thank you note, email, or call I won't give another gift. Frankly it makes it seem like the person doesn't care. I took the time to shop, spend money, and sometimes go to the post office to send it to you. There is no excuse for not taking 5 minutes to write a thank you.


Because they were not shower gifts. I did not have a shower because we had everything we needed for the baby from hand me downs. We did not want gifts. I did write them, just not in a timely fashion. It takes 5 minutes to write ONE thank you note. I got over 300 gifts for my baby. Appreciated, but not necessary, and writing the thank you's was a chore. My husband felt that sending a card with "thank you" printed on it and signing our names was an appropriate thank you. I felt the more personal touch was appropriate. But it took forever, and like I said, people complained because they didn't get a thank you card within a few weeks, although they all did get thank you cards, some were as late as 2 months after I'd gotten the gift. These were family members, btw. Mostly older than 50. Nobody under 50 said a word.
Anonymous
Post 01/14/2012 16:21     Subject: i HATE thank you notes...
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I hate thank you notes, don't do them, ever.

Thank you email and in person. That's it.

Suck it.


Am I the only one who finds the attitudes of the "anti-thank you note" crowd aggressively negative and off-putting? "Suck it?" Really? I took the trouble to select, buy, wrap and deliver a gift and this is the response I get? I don't think I would ever want to be friends with you, much less give you a gift.


I don't care. 8)
Anonymous
Post 01/14/2012 16:15     Subject: i HATE thank you notes...
Anonymous wrote:I hate thank you notes, don't do them, ever.

Thank you email and in person. That's it.

Suck it.


Am I the only one who finds the attitudes of the "anti-thank you note" crowd aggressively negative and off-putting? "Suck it?" Really? I took the trouble to select, buy, wrap and deliver a gift and this is the response I get? I don't think I would ever want to be friends with you, much less give you a gift.