Anonymous wrote:I appeared much more interesting and worldly when I met my husband. But the truth is I come from a working class background and am basically a simple person. It is causing BIG problems now to the point where he has talked about leaving after the holidays.

That really stinks. I'm sorry.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No sex trouble here but his number is 2 (including me) and my number is um....in the 20s. So, he thinks it is around 8 or so. I actually forget the number I told him. lol

I'm sure he suspects there are more but it really doesn't matter. That conversation came up around year 2 of our relationship, was a little awkward, and then has been forgotten for the next 5 years.

My wife is in the 30s with me at three, including her. I would never tell her, but the thought of all those guys with her sometimes turns me on and makes sex even hotter. Not sure of the reason.

Maybe because you are the one she choose...?

Anonymous wrote:^^^You dont go from liking giving BJs to suddenly hating it when you tie the knot. Even if you did, its selfish as hell to cut someone off from BJs forever. Would not leave me wanting to be faithful to be honest.

I dont think I could stay in a marriage where my husband stopped going down on me as soon as we married. Its an important part of the experience for me and the manipulation would leave me completely resentful.

I agree and the bigger point for me is that if a woman performed a sex act before we got married and really had not wanted to, it means that she was not honest with me and I would like to think that any woman I cared enough about to want to marry would feel open about what she is comfortable doing. If a woman told me that she did not like giving bjs because of some bad experiences, fine, there are a million other things we can do, but at least be upfront about it.

Anonymous wrote:

ThatSmileyFaceGuy wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're both fucking idiots, then. You'd divorce someone for not giving a blowjob?
And what about her needs? If she has told you that she doesn't like it or simply changed her mind she must go on with it b/c you can't live with regular sex?

If you have an otherwise good marriage and partnership and this is truly just about not getting a BJ then, yes, you're an idiot.

It not about just not getting a BJ.

It's about if you lied to me about this one thing, then what lese have you lied to me about. Or also if you were willing to do something that you hated to manipulate me into marraige, then what else are you capable of. That is not the basis of a good marriage.

You seem kind of paranoid. Don't you think that women's sexual preferences can change over time without it being a diabolical bait and switched? I also really loved going to bars and staying up till 2 watching real world marathons--those are not my favorites now either.

It's also happens so often that there are jokes about it.

Not to let men off the hook either, how often to do you hear a wife complain that after the wedding, he just wasn't romantic anymore?

That I'm shy lol

^^^You dont go from liking giving BJs to suddenly hating it when you tie the knot. Even if you did, its selfish as hell to cut someone off from BJs forever. Would not leave me wanting to be faithful to be honest.

I dont think I could stay in a marriage where my husband stopped going down on me as soon as we married. Its an important part of the experience for me and the manipulation would leave me completely resentful.

ThatSmileyFaceGuy wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're both fucking idiots, then. You'd divorce someone for not giving a blowjob?
And what about her needs? If she has told you that she doesn't like it or simply changed her mind she must go on with it b/c you can't live with regular sex?

If you have an otherwise good marriage and partnership and this is truly just about not getting a BJ then, yes, you're an idiot.

It not about just not getting a BJ.

It's about if you lied to me about this one thing, then what lese have you lied to me about. Or also if you were willing to do something that you hated to manipulate me into marraige, then what else are you capable of. That is not the basis of a good marriage.

You seem kind of paranoid. Don't you think that women's sexual preferences can change over time without it being a diabolical bait and switched? I also really loved going to bars and staying up till 2 watching real world marathons--those are not my favorites now either.

That I liked to cook and was good at it. LOL.

"OK, away from the numbers suppose I had almost no experience when we met, I would expect that my wife and I, who love each other would figure out how to make our sex lives great by experimenting and being open with each other. I do not know you or your husband, but it is really sad that you have had a lot of sexual trouble. Not to sermonize but if you love each other and have a family, I hope both of you find the root cause of the problems and correct them. "

Thanks. One of the root causes is that my Dh is a recovering Catholic and has a bad case of the Madonna/whore complex.

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes I wear slightly padded bras. Just slightly.

But this is something that can be discovered early on - sometimes on the first date. So I don't think it counts.

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes I wear slightly padded bras. Just slightly.

I have lied about my "number" because I think the whole thing is stupid. I'm 39 and single; yeah, i've slept with more than 1 person or whatever the "acceptable" number is.

I don't lie about much when dating or at any other time. I'll tell a guy my true age, my real weight and the fact that I have a kid, pretty early on. That could be why I'm single, lol.

I think any man who would ask that question to a 39 year old woman is an idiot. With any man you become serious with, BOTH of you deserve to have a life before you met that is respected. Asking that question is either going to produce an answer that is uncomfortable or a lie from the other person.

Sometimes I wear slightly padded bras. Just slightly.

I have lied about my "number" because I think the whole thing is stupid. I'm 39 and single; yeah, i've slept with more than 1 person or whatever the "acceptable" number is.

I don't lie about much when dating or at any other time. I'll tell a guy my true age, my real weight and the fact that I have a kid, pretty early on. That could be why I'm single, lol.

He thinks I come from a well educated, successful family. In reality I am a poor country girl.

I appeared much more interesting and worldly when I met my husband. But the truth is I come from a working class background and am basically a simple person. It is causing BIG problems now to the point where he has talked about leaving after the holidays.

Anonymous wrote:No sex trouble here but his number is 2 (including me) and my number is um....in the 20s. So, he thinks it is around 8 or so. I actually forget the number I told him. lol

I'm sure he suspects there are more but it really doesn't matter. That conversation came up around year 2 of our relationship, was a little awkward, and then has been forgotten for the next 5 years.

My wife is in the 30s with me at three, including her. I would never tell her, but the thought of all those guys with her sometimes turns me on and makes sex even hotter. Not sure of the reason.