I had a dinner party last weekend and onE of the guests brought me a nice set of votive candles (boxed set of 4). I thought it was perfect.

i would bring something - either flowers or wine. I couldn't show up empty handed.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Needless to say I graciously sent them home with their melon.

In all seriousness, how do you achieve that graciously?

I'm not that PP but I'm guessing something along the lines of, "We've still got so much melon leftover from the one I cut up, I'd hate to see yours go to waste! Why don't you take it with you and enjoy it at home!"

Nicely done!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Bring something not comestible, but don't show up empty handed. I can't imagine where a bottle of wine would not be appreciated, unless you know they can't or don't drink for some reason.

There are lots of reasons people don't drink, alchy.

Maybe some wine would make you a bit more gracious, snotty.

After years of this stress I finally came up with a solution that works for me. I bring something for the host and her family to have for breakfast the next day. I've brought muffins, sweet rolls, or for a family with a child with some pretty epic food allergies I brought a box of appropriate pancake mix and a bottle of syrup. To me it's a way to say thank you for hosting without messing up the menu or making anyone feel like they need to serve something they don't want to.

I knew I had found a good solution when I walked into a house with my pan and one of the kids ran up to me, stopped, and then ran the other way yelling to her siblings "Yes! She brought those sticky buns again! I call dibs on the corner one this time!"

Anonymous wrote:question---
If you ask the hostess if you can bring anything and she says "yes" and you bring that item (for instance an appetizer or a bottle of wine or six pack of beer), are you also supposed to bring a hostess gift?

I didn't at a recent dinner and felt like I messed up. I did however send a nice thank you note (in the mail).

Saying yes is tacky, frankly. Either host or don't, but don't make people bring dishes.

Who died and made you queen?

My mom.

question---
If you ask the hostess if you can bring anything and she says "yes" and you bring that item (for instance an appetizer or a bottle of wine or six pack of beer), are you also supposed to bring a hostess gift?

I didn't at a recent dinner and felt like I messed up. I did however send a nice thank you note (in the mail).

I vote for flowers, always nice. We don't drink and I don't ask guests to bring something.

Anonymous wrote:Please, please please don't bring wine. People who entertain frequently, or have large parties are often overwhelmed with the number of bottles we recieve. I won't serve a bottle that I received as a gift at a later dinner party if I do not know the wine. It sits and sits because I am not much of a drinker. I peridically let my closest friends come cart away the stash from the wine cabinet. A thank you note is all that is necessary, and if you are a close friend that isn't even necessary. People worry too much.

Who died and made you queen? I give wine, because I know my friends are wine drinkers and will appreciate it. I don't expect them to open it for the dinner or party. I'm an enthusiastic wine drinker and appreciate it.